[Ask a Guy] To those who are submissive

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by Polly, Oct 8, 2012.

  1. Polly

    Polly Member

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    Why do some men like women to be mean to them sexually? I'll ask the girls later.... for now I want an answer from you guys :)

    Where does a fantasy like that come from? Childhood? Some sort of trauma? Because you feel like you deserve it? No special reason?
     
  2. too_thick

    too_thick Member

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    I would probably be very nervous with women on top or being mean sexually. Probably get piss off as well.(I do not like other people touching me.)
     
    #2 too_thick, Oct 8, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2012
  3. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I'm confused......if you don't like other people to touch you, does than mean you have never had sex?
     
  4. too_thick

    too_thick Member

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    yeah
     
  5. newt72

    newt72 New Member

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    well Polly i can't speak for every one but i recently realized that i think love and pain go together physical and emotional, from childhood and my Ex wife. the more abusive the more turned on i am it does not need to be bdsm either, i am starting to learn to be comfortable like that
     
  6. Anotherday

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    while it's wife who is usually submissive we do switch occasionally, when I ask for it.

    And she's not being "mean" in the role at least from our. perspective. If anything with properly discussed and limits set ,being dominated with actions to whatever degree (within agreed upon limits) is a very liberating and intimate experience for both partners.

    As far as the root for the desire, I don't know, for me it's a test, challenge so to speak. Sometimes a challenge to accept/take certain amounts of pain. On another level it's a proving of my commitment and trust we share. It's giving and taking for us.

    We're not into humiliation, which is another thing all together.
     
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  7. MoralDeviant

    MoralDeviant New Member

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    Great question.

    I think maybe it's part childhood and another part is I enjoy seeing women happy and having fun. If a woman is into humilation and she's having fun it's a turn on.
     
  8. infofor01

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    I know this is an older post but wanted to share my experience.
    Since an early teen I have been curious about men, mainly because I would watch porn with my best friend whom was larger. This probably initiated my submissive/bi mind. So I have always felt aroused by the thought of being controlled or submitting to another person (boy or girl). This still holds true now at 30 and married, my wife loves to play that role. Also part reason my have to do with penis size (in my case), I was always insecure and found other hung men to be superior. All this is related and shape the way you feel about certain situations such as submitting to someone and having them treat you like a slave.
     
  9. 10_3XL

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    Where does ANY fantasy come from? I don't think you can place it. For me the appeal in being in a more submissive role in sexual situations is largely due to the fact that virtually everywhere else in Life I am expected to be In Charge and In Control. It's a nice change of pace to let somebody else take that role every now and again.
     
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  10. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

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    I think there's definitely some truth her. I'm not a man, and I don't feel submissive around men I know to be "hung".. but as far as why I enjoy being dominated to an extent, I'm pretty sure this is why. I'm a very dominant personality in all areas of life--except the bedroom. I enjoy relinquishing control, and the break from making decisions, haha.
     
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  11. Trond

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    FWIW I don't get it either. I don't like hurt or pain or abuse to be any part of it, and that goes for both me and my partner. It's fine if it turns others on of course.
     
  12. HotForHoney

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    It's not abuse. Think of it like hot sauce. Some people don't like a mild Tabasco and some people like really hot and spicy sauces.

    Personally, I LOVE getting my ass spanked during sex - that little sting makes me feel alive.
     
  13. AtkCCC

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    You are like my wife in that she also enjoys a slap on the ass during sex, maybe some hair pulling and other stuff. I know it is pleasure for her but I have a hard time with fulfilling it in the manner she wants. I/we are very open sexually but I guess it’s some preconceived idea I have and not wanting to accidently hurt her. I’ve told her about it and she understands, I do try because I know she likes it.
     
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  14. lonelyandhorny

    lonelyandhorny New Member

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    My wife always wants me to take the lead, however, I would love for to turn around and dominate me and make me be submissive. There are so many things she could do........ This guy here has it lucky!

    There is no reason really for wanting it other than I really want it. I think when people say "from my childhood" or "trauma" etc., are just being ashamed of something that they shouldn't be.
     
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  15. John W

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    I agree. I like my wife to take the lead and be 'submissive' sometimes. I make all kinds of decisions at work and sometimes it is great to be told what to do, especially in bed!
     
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