To fuck, or not to fuck...?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by ftheunion, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    Sorry for the stupid-ass title. I was wondering if it is better to be a virgin for life, or to only have sex once, or a few times with one person and then never again...

    The saying: "It's better to have loved than lost than to never have loved at all" is ok I guess, but I think it would resent it if it were true for sex. I'm 18 and virgin, I only had one girlfriend ever in jr. high, for a few months. I aint ever had just female friends. I was aquainted with a few, but you know the typical highschool crap. Females are soft and nurturing, and I couldn't be as good as they are, but they are so picky.


    Anyway, if it turns out that someone is a late bloomer, should they try for it and see if they can get a women? But when she leaves and lets them go, the guy would just think about her the rest of his life until he dies. Provided she was his only one. I'm skeptic of one night stands cause of this same reason.


    Most guys wouldn't mind havin a girlfriend/wife, but theres so many guys that aren't that great when it comes to evolutionary fitness and a womens sexual selection. Not everone is a hunk or buff guy. So if a guy like myself or a 40 year old virgin wants female, should he try the regular methods of getting to know her first and all that stuff?

    I always thought it in vain. It takes so long and time/energy invested that if it never materialized, it would be ironic like those dumb ass movies at the end. Without women, guys just f*** shit up and kill stuff and each other, but women are frustrating sometimes and cause intense rage in males as well, a lot of frustration.

    He could choose to go out and get want he wants, or give up all desire.......the latter is a hardcore though guy choice and I don't know if its possible for most normal people. Guys desire romance kinda I think, or at least it makes em happy. I wouldn't mind it. But if the desire is in vain and taxes the body and mind living alone and dreaming of women/sex. Guys are strong and stuff, but they can't control the universe, so its kinda up to fate, depends on how one argues. A life without knowing a womens warmth, or knowing what its life and being freezer burned after she moves on? It is difficult for me to understand.


    Any thoughts?
     
    #1 ftheunion, Aug 18, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2007
  2. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    You said
    I doubt if you can have sex just once
    If you try it you will want it over and over.
    Forget about the virgin shit, that is for the birds.
    If you dont do it you will never know.

    Hiker
     
  3. Bluesy

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    There are those people whose idea of a good time is the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment...Oftentimes this entails the disciplined transcending of physical impulses, such as the urge to procreate. If you feel a strong pull towards this sort of lifestyle, then by all means, devote yourself to it. Find out what it means to live for purely intellectual and spiritual fulfillment and eschew the physical. There's nothing wrong with it, as we are all created with different inclinations and callings, we all have our own personal road to travel in life, and following someone else's road isn't going to get us where we need to go. So if your virginity has a purpose, if it means something profound to you, then treasure and embrace it tightly. It doesn't sound like that's the case with you, however.

    My dear, just my non-professional take on things, you sound like you've got some type of anxiety disorder. Let's say I'm very familiar with neurotic minds, having one myself, and so I've developed some kind of internal neurosis radar that goes off whenever I meet someone of like mind. You're running yourself in analytical circles, and the thing about circles is that they have no end...the only thing that will come of this sort of philosophizing is even more anxiety. What are you afraid of? That you'll enjoy sex so much that going without is going to kill you? I guarantee you would survive it. You are so fixated on this subject at the moment...What is the rest of your life like? Do you have hobbies? Friends? Do you have goals that you're currently pursuing? My advice to you is to shift your focus to whatever area of your life you've been neglecting and the importance of sex will fade and become not a problem at all, and things will happen naturally because that's what's happens when you stop analyzing and start living: life happens of its own accord. Overthinking just shuts you down and paralyzes you, it prevents you from becoming actively engaged in life. Think about getting into counseling if your fears/doubts/etc. continue to prevent you from getting out there and living. My best to you, hon.
     
  4. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    ^ Agreed with bluesy....( wow you sure have a wonderful way with words :) )
    All i can add is that you are only 18, you should have at least another 60 years ( theoreticaly speaking )
    You have years and years of life ahead of you, take a risk just walk right up to a female and ask her out, even if she says no, you have takn a first step to getting past a fear of trying.

    I dont think there are many people that have sex only once and never wish it again ( there are people like this , but usualy youll find their first time sadly wasnt something they wished or wanted )
    Once you have sex like 99% of humans you will wish to experience this over and over and over again..
     
  5. bob183

    bob183 New Member

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    You thin too much... you're only 18 and have plenty more time. If you feel the desire, then have sex. It's more of a mental thing than how you look that attracts women to you. Don't feel pressured to do it right away. It's said way to much, but act naturally and eventually it wil happen (after all, sex is the most natural thing of all.) Once you've done it once, not only will you want more, you'll also find it much easier to do.
     
  6. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    I think the whole thing of being a virgin forever...by choice especially is just stupid.

    Not to upset anyone but its just flat out stupid. I mean its on natural and EVERYWHERE in nature to have sex. Even if its a religion thing its stupid im sure you could find sumwhere in the bible that supports sex. (just not b4 marriage) which is the persons choice and i would respect that much.
     
  7. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    So you're asking whether it's better to remain a virgin and never have to experience any of the intense pleasure and pain of relationships? Unless you're planning on becoming a monk or something I'd say the answer is a resounding no. Living life is all about experiencing things both good and bad...and you cannot (or rather in my opinion, should not) deny yourself the pleasure of sex and relationships just because, "women are frustrating sometimes." Men can be frustrating as hell too, but just like every other living creature on this planet, we humans are biologically compelled to seek each other out and couple. If you deny yourself the pain of sex and relationships, you're also denying yourself the intense pleasure of it, as well as all the rewards.

    I know it's a cliche, but really...you gotta take the good with the bad.
     
  8. icu89109

    icu89109 New Member

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    "...that is the question; Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings, rack,
    ropes, and chains or outrageous abstinence..."
    Sex is like Lays Potato Chips. No one can eat just one. Furthermore, virgins are a myth. You are screwed from the time you are conceived.
     
  9. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    Thanks for feedback

    I ain't afraid to tell someone I like them, I just am careful how and when I do it, but thats only happened once. I don't know how someone could choose to be abstinent for life, but that's not me. I desire it, but I am afraid if I ever get the chance, I might shy away and move in on it. I would be nervous, maybe even shaking a little, but I ain't a pussy. Its not that much of a choice though, cause I am doubtful of the opportunity to get intimate. I ain't a yankee, like those people I see that got the good life, religion, and all the girls. I don't shave very often like those yankees either. shavin is for girls.

    Bluesy your close. I'm afraid to know what I would live without for the next 50+ years. I will always feel alone between relationships (if any) unless for some rare cirumstance I get married. But after she leaves and divorces, then ya that would be just as bad.

    I ain't expecting anything, I can't ask for anything cause I got to tell this one girl I liked her, and I got a hug out of it, but thats just history and I can't wish for anything like that again, just have to go off opportunity or happening. I think about and am pretty confident about what I would do if I was in the situation I envy.

    Everyone has issues, and this is mine pretty much.
     
  10. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I think fate has a lot to do with that. Before I was old enough to even think of the question I had had sex with 5 girls and 4 boys. That not counting abuse by parents. I think we live the life before us and don't have near as much control as we would like to think.:ugh:):) Wanted to add. That picture on the left is me. I had been introduced to sex by then.
     
    #10 Buffalo204, Aug 22, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2007
  11. Bluesy

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    The trick is to have a full life, complete with a circle of friends you trust, and hobbies and involvement in organizations, etc., that keep you busy and make life enjoyable. Your life should be full and rich without a woman in it, and you can make it that way. Then, when you do find someone wonderful, it will come as a pleasant surprise instead of feeling like the lifepreserver you've been waiting for while floundering around pathetically.

    You're so young...just go and live and life will happen to you.
     
  12. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    18 and already thinking about the next 50 years, being amrried devorced separated...... dont worry about all that, just as bluesy said enjoy your life, take it east stop worrying about things that havnt even happened yet....

    i would say go see a therapist of some sort, because if your like this at 18 already, what are you going to be like 20 years from now, get this problem/issue sorted :)
     
  13. ftheunion

    ftheunion New Member

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    Therapy.........I'm too proud to go and pay someone to listen to my issues, plus I'm poor in college. Seems a silly concept, cause their job is to let you vent, and take notes to make it seem like progess is happening. But I shouldn't be treadin on strangers online.

    It's like that song by korn: All Day I Dream About Sex (ADIDAS). But is there anything or idea I cannot doubt.........I even doubting if I would be a good lover in sex. I want it, but I aint mature up in the head enought probably.


    I'm glad I can't see the future. I might just be a stupid Idealist. I feel like less of a human being than those buff guys or hot girls cause they got the yankee life, they doubt nothing and act fearless. I admire that, some of you on the forum are probably like this. I get kinda nervous when I arrive at the college campus cause all these hardcore adults are sittin in the back of their trucks and they look tough. I got a dinky ass car and I look more like a jest. But I'm 6'6" so I can't go completely unnoticed. Ya the tough buff guys are holdin on to their girlfriends and both sit solid and serious like in those movie posters. Intense gaze.


    That first (only) gf in jr. high sure f***ed my head up. Hey enough about me though.
     
  14. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    At 18 I was a high school dropout in the navy with a serious drinking problem. I was 5'11" and 140lb on a good day. I had a temper so bad I was constantly in trouble and in fights and believe me I never was built for fighting. Now believe me this train wreck that was me didn't get straightened out over night but I have lived a useful and for the most part happy life. Every ones outside will always look better to you then your inside. You have no way of seeing their fears and insecurities. Hang in, you will do fine.
     
    #14 Buffalo204, Aug 30, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 30, 2007