Threesome

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Erk469, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. Erk469

    Erk469 New Member

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    I was wondering..me and my wife are wanting to do a threesome with another woman, but we are trying to figure out with whom? and how would we approach this person about it?
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    There are countless swingers web sites on the net, just Google it. Good luck! ;)
     
  3. Erk469

    Erk469 New Member

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    Thanks..I will try that!!
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    After locating a site and join.
    Make damn sure you both fully agree on who it will
    be.
    And if they have an active club by all means go
    as their is generally a Woman or two thats willing to swing with you.
    but make sure you both fully agree on everything.

    Hiker
     
  5. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Not to be a downer or anything, but I'd say make sure you read up on Sexually Transmitted Diseases beforehand! I think Bluesy has some STD links in her signature....check 'em out. Good luck with your adventure!

    BassDude
     
  6. Cpt Strict IX

    Cpt Strict IX New Member

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    If you have the cash go to Las Vegas out to the bunny ranch, the girls a tested regularly and there will be little posability of messing things up with the SO. A threesome has more behind it than three O's and then back to normal life...problems can arise, people get their feelings involved, the more you three do it the more it gets complicated....DO NOT USE A FRIEND or SOMEONE YOU KNOW....trust me from experience, I got lucky but these things can become a head ache, make sure you both are on the same level on everything if not you may lose some things that you can not get back...Its a big responsability on both ends and I know it sounds bad but the less personal it is, the better.
     
  7. starberry

    starberry New Member

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    My advice, a girl way less attractive then your wife so she doesnt feel insecure.
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    My first question to you is how certain your wife is in agreement with you on this topic? She may have said yes. However is she afraid that she will loose you if she said no, does she feel pressured to have to do this, or does she have a difficult time saying no? If so you may want to talk with her a bit more because if you do progress further it may be something that may reside as a catalyst for conflict between the two of you. Now, if you are certain she is being 100% honest with you then there are several options available to you.

    To begin is your wife straight or bi? If she is straight then finding a straight single woman will take a lot of effort and time as they are a rarity. Even a single bi woman is difficult to find and that is why a single woman is term a 'unicorn' due to their rarity. This means for the two of you finding a single may take some time and effort. The main thing is to keep your options open and find someone that your wife does not view as a threat to your relationship.

    1) Friends / Co-workers

    Avoid like the plague. Friendships will forever change if you ask a friend and there is the potential that you will loose the friend if the subject is brought up to them. So you need to balance the risk versus any benefit of inviting them. If you do invite them, and they accept then you will have to work out with the friend how your relationship goes back once the sex ends.

    Co-workers I know some will advocate are fertile picking ground. Unless you are willing to risk your career then the last person in the world you want to choose is someone from work.

    2) Internet

    There are some great swinging sites out there like swing lifestyle where you can join for free. It is important if you are posting on the internet not to post personally identifiable information, consider using an alias, and always consider safety before meeting someone.

    If you are going to post an ad be prepared to sort through an influx of replies, make sure both of you screen the replies before deciding to meet someone, and be flexible. Also is you live in a small town, religious area, or in a rural area be prepared to drive to meet someone. Alternatively be prepared to accommodate if necessary.

    3) Lifestyle Clubs

    Most large metropolitan cities have at least one swingers club in town. Most keep a very low profile in order not to attract the attention of protesters and other crakcpots that are out there. NASCA's website list their affiliated clubs and it is a good starting point for finding a club in your area.

    Before going make sure you research the club, understand their rules, and their clientele. It may be the club in your area is not a club that meets your needs and may require visiting several clubs before you find one that meets your needs.

    4) Be flexible

    It is important that you understand that the reason that swingers clubs give a single woman free admission is due to their rarity. Since a single woman is rare their demand is quite high. Does this mean that a single woman does not participate in a threesome? No, but what it does mean they are most likely attached. They are attached to another couple or they are, themselves, in a relationship. Since that are attached it does mean in order to find one it requires flexibility and considering less conventional options.

    One possible solution is searching for a couple. Sometimes couples may 'barrow' you their female for a threesome provided that you reciprocate. If this is something that is of interest to you then you have increased your chances. Also you might find a couple that is into foursomes where the husband has more of a voyeuristic interest than an actual participation. This would allow you to play with the female while the husband watched.

    Another alternative idea is to try the local club scene. The drawback to this is you may have to search several venues before you get some interest. Another drawback is that you may increase your chance of violence against one of you due to your request and the risk you take when anyone goes into a club.

    5) Conclusion

    Before embarking on this adventure it is to make sure your wife is in full agreement with it and to find someone with whom she is comfortable with. It is not a hopeless search to find a single woman interested in a threesome. However it will most likely take some time and energy before you find a woman that is compatible with you. As you consider your options consider those you do not pose a threat to your wife, does not put your career at risk or damage any other relationship that you may have. If you do you will find that your experience is rewarding.
     
  9. herpob

    herpob Member

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    Be careful loads of baaad bugs out there you can catch. Sorry for bringing it up but have some married friends who did this and caught some pretty nasty stuff. The third person falsified there clean bill of health, etc.
     
  10. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    Yeah, the thing is, catching an STD is pretty much always going to be a risk factor whenever you're having non-monogamous sex. If a person has had a sexual encounter less than four months prior to a Herpes blood test (and there are only four FDA-approved tests, follow the "learn about STIs/STDs" link in my signature for more info), it's virtually impossible to get an accurate reading. And I imagine that the people you'll meet at swinger's clubs and through classifieds, etc., are quite sexually active. Condoms are only 50% effective in protecting against certain STDs if the virus is active (and it's not always possible to tell because not everyone gets lesions, or very noticeable lesions, when they're contagious).

    I always say that a person's best bet in these instances is to hook up with another monogamous couple (best scenario: they've never hooked up with anyone else before).

    Good luck!
     
  11. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    Good luck and enjoy

    There is always a risk as in most things in life so all you can do is protect yourself as best as possible and live life.There are hundreds of people looking for singles females all the time and it seems to take many a long time to find one,so be ready for a long search.I agree with an earlier post,go to a swingers club that is non-pushy because most of them have a social time with dinner and dancing where you can talk with people and you might get lucky that way and most clubs let in single women at a discount .
     
  12. kak0801

    kak0801 New Member

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    My wife and I used to be a member at - link removed Take a look there. It is a paid site, so to gain full access get ready to send them some money. Try a 30 day membership to start with. You should be able to find someone to fit your needs.
     
    #12 kak0801, Dec 20, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 20, 2007