Threesome, will it happen again?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by yorkiesmurf, Jan 28, 2007.

  1. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Hi all,

    I am going to warn you that this posting is long but I will do my best to stick to the point.

    The question that I have for all of you especially those of you that have done threesomes is to help me understand what is occurring and what is the next step?

    I will start with a bit of background.

    My wife I will call her Yvette is about 7 years my junior and before we met she had very limited sexual experiences.I would characterize her as a person of extremes. On the one hand she is very open-minded about sex, sexual attitudes, and has a lively sense of adventure. However, her views regarding marriage and relationships are very conservative almost 1950’s like.

    She has been with one girl before we met and had done fmf where she was the extra female who received only oral, nothing else. In any event when we met she still did not have vaginal sex but had engaged in some petting

    Our first couple of years of marriage were fairly uneventful but after a few years of marriage she wanted to explore some things sexually. During her exploration we did do a mfm at her suggestion, also at her suggestion she did play a little bit by herself with my knowledge and consent. That lasted for about a year, things settled for about two years, but after a while she wanted to have another mfm again. We attempted to find the other male with whom we had the first mfm together but learned that he had moved. So our lives continued.

    Now fast forward a few years, we decide to move and began talking about having a threesome again. At first she was totally opposed to it and did not want to discuss it even though the thought really aroused her. Furthermore on several occasions she would share details of events that occurred during her day that got her horny and these always revolved around flirting with men. So for a while we went through the cycle of not talking about threesomes but her always sharing about experiences that turned her on.

    Well about a 1 1/2 ago we head to Amsterdam via a ferry and on our way back she tells me how much she wants to have another guy on the ferry. She gets really wet and horny. However at the moment she is about ready to act on it, by actually going to look, she pulls back. After that event she begins to be a bit more open about her desires for a threesome and starts approaching the subject with me. Shortly after that event I suggest that we try a swingers club that is about a mile from us and she expressed some interest about going by saying some day we will go. Then December 2006 a co-worker mentions to my wife that she regularly attends key parties with her husband and that they regularly swing. My wife mentions this to me telling me that she is both shocked and interested to know that her co-worker does this. Finally last week I mention in a half joking / half serious manner that we should attend one of the clubs in our area. For the first time she asked if I was serious and I asked why? She responded that she wants to go but not sure if she is ready. So we talk a bit more about possible scenarios and clubs that we could attend. However a day later she stated that she has changed her mind.

    I love my wife dearly and would not push her into a situation where she was not 100% agreeable to it. If we never do another threesome again it would not matter in the least to me. She knows that if we do go ahead with it again it will be because we both want it and are agreeable to it.

    Any insight or comments would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Dreama

    Gold Member

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    The only advice I can give you, is just to keep the communication lines open between the two of you, and wait and see what happens. You seem like a loving husband, who isn't going to try to push her into anything that makes her uncomfortable. This is good, and I think that eventually, she'll get over her small fear of going to a club. If she has expressed interest in it, I don't think it'll be the type of thing that is so easy to forget about.
     
  3. doberman

    doberman New Member

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    good advice there..

    if you go to a club, it does not mean you have to be involved in sexual activity as its not a must. one can go for only a drink, a chat, or just to get the vibe of things.. if it appeals to her, things can go on, if not, fine too..

    i had been to one of those clubs with my ex because she was curious. just danced through the night, had a peek-a-boo on what was going on, enjoyed the sexy people doing all sorts of stuff.. was a good night. we are not into exchanging partners, but both have quite an exibitonistic bone, so.. last night we had a shag in the couples lounge..

    in these clubs, rules are pretty strict, no touching without consent, so you will be just fine..