Threesome Rules

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Alex May, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Alex May

    Alex May New Member

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    Threesome Rules




    Below are threesome rules I worked out for myself and use every time I have a threesome with a new woman.

    However, I was repeatedly asked to give out my own threesome rules and that’s what I am going to do now. Mind, this stuff might be useful for "advanced” people out there and should be used with care by the beginners.


    RULE #1. SET UP THINGS RIGHT FROM THE VERY BEGINNING

    Three key magic words here are:


    HONEST - DIRECT - RESPECTFUL

    Let’s discuss them one by one.



    Honest

    At the very first meeting with a new girl – whether I meet her in a club or at some social gathering – I let her know exactly who I am and what my lifestyle is. I used to be much too straightforward about it for a while but after I learned to calibrate based on social setting and woman’s state and mood.

    Important realization here – the very same woman will indignantly reject you if you bring up the subject too directly and in environment where she feels others may judge her for such an “indecent” subject of the conversation.

    Even if she loves to hear and find out more about me– she will reject this opportunity if there is a slightest chance that her close friends/colleagues/family might overhear a single word of our conversation.

    This depends of course a lot on what her friends or colleagues are but it is safer to estimate conservative surroundings and just drop a hint or two and suggest getting together another time. In vast majority of cases, she is happy that she met the guy who is so socially intuitive.



    Direct

    Once we get together – I do my best that we both enjoy our conversation, that it’s light, fun, and interesting. I honestly tell her about existence of other women in my life. Often I do it indirectly, just by telling stories involving my other girlfriends but not telling directly about sexual nature of my relationships.

    Why? Because women are very socially intuitive. She understands anyway.

    This one of threesome rules is mostly about calibrating. Some women do not want to hear about sexual side. They want to be lead into adventure. Things should “happen’ to them so they can always say later “Oh, all this has started as an accident.”

    Others like to hear details and ask questions. I am totally honest and open. It took me a couple of years of trials and errors to get intuitive about the whole process.

    During our conversation, I find out whether she has bisexual experiences. Vast majority of women is bisexual - read this article to find out more about female bisexuality. Many times, I hear that she always wanted to try but never had a chance.

    If by this time I still like her and enjoy her company – I suggest she meets my other girlfriends some day. On one condition - only if she really wants to.

    There is no pressure or convincing from my side whatsoever. Years ago, I used to be very excited about the possibility of having two women in bed and tried to convince them. The more efforts I made – the less interested they became.

    However, after a while I learned that convincing is useless.



    Respectful

    In a course of our conversation (fun, light, and pleasant) I clearly let her understand that I respect her and choices she makes. Whatever she decides – I am cool with that. There are plenty of fun things two of us can do without any other women involved.

    And funnily enough – I would not believe this if someone would have told this to me years ago – some women stay with me and have relationship KNOWING that I am also friend and sexual partner of all those other women.

    Those women' conscious choice is to keep seeing me and not meeting my other girlfriends. I accept and respect this.

    I know just too well that if/when the difference in beliefs and values between two people is too big - chances of relationship' survival are low and there is no sense in trying to keep another person or trying to convince her in anything.



    RULE #2. NEW WOMAN IS NOT GOING TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION DURING OUR FIRST THREESOME

    This one of threesome rules is not so easy to manage for a man. Simply because I see, hear, and feel this hot, exciting, new girl next to me – my intuitive urge is to give her biggest share of my attention. However, this is a NO-DOER.

    My other girlfriend will feel neglected and this will deeply hurt her feelings. This is why I divide my attention 95-5 during my first threesome.

    This means I give 95% of my attention to my "old” girl and only 5% to the new one. Sounds illogical and strange for many men. However, this rule and DISCIPLINE in applying it resulted for me in more threesomes than I can remember.

    New girl will receive more than enough attention from my “old" girl and more often than not – my “old” girl will see my devotion and attention towards herself and will explicitly ask me to pay MORE attention to a new girl.

    I do it with pleasure (as you probably understand) but AFTER a COUPLE OF MINUTES, I usually come back to my "old" girl. Do this, guys and you will never have any issues afterwards.



    RULE #3. FIND OUT WHAT IS HER IDEA OF THREESOME

    This aspect is so often overlooked by inexperienced lovers. This is probably the most important of all threesome rules. Before inviting any new women, I always ask my other girlfriend/s – what threesome rules they would like to follow. Mind, I have very open-minded and happy circle of girlfriends and there are almost no taboos.


    However, some girls want me to come into them. Others used to get jealous when I was kissing other girls too much in the beginning, etc.

    Again, honest, direct, and respectful – are keywords here.



    RUE #4. COMMUNICATE DURING THREESOME

    Before you begin – tell BOTH girls that you are not a mind-reader and if they want something more/less/harder/softer/etc. – they will have to TELL you or each other.

    Do not think that once you told the above – they will comply. You will have to watch them both and ASK questions.



    RULE #5. AFTER THREESOME IS OVER – BE THE HOST. DIVIDE YOUR ATTENTION EQUALLY BETWEEN BOTH GIRLS

    Now it’s the time for all three of you to enjoy the afterglow and to set up the right frame for the future.
     
    #1 Alex May, Jan 14, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 14, 2010
  2. Barbwire

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    I'm bumping this because I'd hate for this gem to be lost forever.

    I must have missed it when it was first created but, I think this is one of the best threads on the topic I've read to date.

    I'm not planning a FMF threesome but, I think the rules can apply to a MFM as well.

    It's a shame Alex only posted this one time. I like the way he thinks.
     
  3. cbrmale

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    Interesting, from a guy who's had a few threesomes of various gender mixes. I never over-analysed them, but my intuition told me what to do when and with who, especially the FMF ones.

    CL - MFM threesomes are a bit different, unless the guys are bisexual (and bisexual men are not common). Straight women tend to get into each other quite a bit, similar to the way women friends tend to interact with one-another more intimately than male friends do. Two straight men, in my experience, do focus on the woman in the centre (lucky woman), but in my experience, the male-male interaction is very subdued. Although, I must admit, it is very vouyeristic to be right up close on a bed while a guy pounds a girl. You can see it (of course), feel it, hear it, smell it, almost taste it. And then, when it's your turn, it's quite arousing to think something similar is happening.

    Either way, group sex is remarkable, be it threesomes, foursomes or whatever.
     
  4. Mittimer

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    Just thought I'd chime in here...


    My guy is, and I know A LOT of men who are. They just aren't as open with it as females are.
     
  5. cbrmale

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    The most comprehensive stats on male and female same-sex I have seen was:

    Exclusive male homosexuals - about 3% of men
    Male bisexuals, or potentially bisexual - about 6% of men
    Exclusive female homosexuals - slightly less than 3% of women
    Female bisexuals or potentially bisexual - about 40% of women

    There have been other stats, and the range of percentages is fairly consistent.
     
  6. Mittimer

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    So that's roughly 180 million men who are bisexual. (if you consider taking 6% of the worlds population and then half of that being men)

    That's a looooot of men if you ask me.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    6% is not a lot. One thing that intrigues psychologists is the high proportion of female bisexuals, or women who could be bisexual. A lot of theories have been put forward, from the attractiveness of women to both sexes, to it currently being cool, to primitive times when men spent a lot of time away hunting, and women spent a lot of time together doing their bit and raising children in a group scenario (and probably having sex with one-another too), but we will never know.
     
  8. Mittimer

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    I think we may want to take this part of the discussion to another thread. We're kind of hijacking it.
     
  9. Squeak

    Squeak New Member

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    @Alex - AWESOME read. :)

    @cbrmale - Scientific results aside, women are hot, plain and simple. :p

    I dare you to find a woman that hasn't played with her own boobs. Seriously. :p
     
  10. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    That's a new one to me. I remember a few occasions during my teen years where me and my friends would make jokes about that and the girls would vehemently deny ever doing it.
    Nice to learn they were lying :p