Threesome HELP

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by herandme, Apr 3, 2007.

  1. herandme

    herandme New Member

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    Okay, so check it out. My fiancee and I have been together for 5 1/2+ years and are getting married in 8 days in st. thomas (verrrry excited!). We are best friends and can talk about anything, including what i'm going to ask about. But of course there's some stuff I just can't get answered by her or myself.
    Here we go, We've been talking about the possiblity of having a threesome with another female for quite some time now but never initiated it and both just kind of shrugged it off, not finding it entirely necessary. More of a joke per say.
    Well, a very good friend of hers (with whom she met at an all girl's school for a year in high school), is coming from very far for our wedding reception in a few weeks. My girl has always been bi-curious, found women beautiful, and always willing to try new things but never wanted to take it very far, until now. She's evidentally highly attracted to this girl, and has proposed to me to have a threesome with her, under the conditions that i do not have intercourse with the other girl. She doesn't mind sharing oral sex on me but primarily wants to hook up with her and have me join in. This may sound selfish also but what quite is in it for me other than oral sex from another girl and probably feeling weird watching my wife with another woman???

    Most guys would be ECSTATIC about this idea anyway, but, for some reason, i'm just not. She has been my one and only sex partner. I've never even thought of being with another girl, much less her being with anyone else. Is that selfish? I know this is a fantasy of hers that she's had for a while and she says for it's "Just for the sex, she'll be gone out of the town afterwards anyway so it's not like we'll see her all the time and it be awkward or anything"
    ...but that makes me feel kinda...i dont know how to put it other than just a 'part' of her sex life that she wants, or i'm not enough....crazy stuff like that... (she does say i am AMAZING though, to clarify, and i can definitely feel i get her to climax within 2 minutes every time we have sex still to this day...) Regardless, she even says that she wouldn't mind if it really meant that much to me not to do it, but i dont want to hold back a fantasy that she wants to play out. At the same time I feel like i'm being pushed into it almost... Don't get me wrong, it sounds like fun...but lets put it like this, if i were single and two girls wanted to do this same thing, i'd be down like four flat tires! But for some reason, something inside of me is holding back and I don't know if i'm making too big of a deal out of it, or if it's just a bad idea for such a strong committment we're entering into and i'm worried it will affect it.
    She's already told me she would never go behind my back and hook up with another girl (much less a guy), and I truly don't believe she would except for the fact that I FEEL I can't "Completely" fulfill her sex desires unless I give in to this. But then again,
    sorry for such a long question but....please HELP!
    '
    Don't want to disappoint her and feel like i've held her back from a fantasy of hers.
    -confused chris
     
  2. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    You fulfill her for male-female sex but there is something different that only another girl can fulfill on the girl-girl fantasy is my guess. It's probably too close to your wedding for this maybe.
     
  3. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    I don't think it is unreasonable not to want to share her.

    As she has said she doesn't want you to have intercourse with the girl, she obviously doesn't want to share you either.

    If you feel like this, I don't think it would be a wise thing to do, especially so close to your wedding.
     
  4. herandme

    herandme New Member

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    yeah the wedding plays a huge role in my thoughts about it...
    MAYBE later on.
    but she thinks it the perfect opportunity because this girl lives far away, is very attractive...and it will be about 2 weeks after the wedding.
    also, because it's a girl and not another male that i'm 'sharing' her with, her viewpoint is that it's not that big of a deal.

    she suggested i just watch instead since i am uncomfortable at first about it....heh, wrong direction on that one.

    i mean DAMNIT, sounds fun but it might as well be a threesome, not a twosome plus one
    haha

    thanks for the prompt response...my mind is on sooo many things right now aside from this
    and please, if you have more suggestions, shoot
     
  5. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    yes no way you will be able to just watch and not join in.
     
  6. g8rguy

    g8rguy Member

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    I have been involved with three-somes with two other other women, always FFM. I absolutely love these situations! But, it is critical with sex that all members be comfortable and it is obvious that you are not.
     
  7. Pilgrim

    Pilgrim New Member

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    You have been together for five years so I think it would be fun to do it and it won't be a regular thing if the girl lives elswhere. It is wedding time but all the newness has worn off so let go and have fun. You are not losing a wife but gaining a friend. Don't worry, there are lots of things to do in a threesome besides intercourse.
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    For a threesome to work both of you need to be in agreement about it and both want it to happen. If one of you wants it more than the other or 'takes one for the team' then there is a chance it can bring up issues for the two of you. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have a threesome and being close to your wedding may influence your feelings. If it is something you may want to do in the future then put it aside for the time being and revisit it a year later. In all honesty if the opportunity has presented itself now then it will again at a later date. Do not rush into just because there is an opportunity do it when the both of you are ready.
     
  9. Aubrey1972

    Aubrey1972 New Member

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    I agree with yorkiesmurf, since you dont seem to feel to good about it hold off. The opportunity presented itself once, so odds are a year or so down the road this other girl will be back in your lifes for a few days. Get past the wedding, then after everything settles down and you feel ok with it try it then.
     
  10. joe_kerr

    joe_kerr New Member

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    Sounds like a last ditch effort to still taste her freedom before the finality of it all.

    However, if you play it right and do it, you could get both of them so hot they'll do anything you want including penetrating the other girl.

    Great success!!
     
  11. nightrider1964

    nightrider1964 New Member

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    Be careful with the threesomes. I joined a couple a few years ago (he wanted to see her with another guy). I met them on the internet, they lived about 60 miles from me. Well anyway, it was a great time it seemed.....at the time. I never saw them again but heard about 6 months later they were seperated. Now I'm not saying the threesome caused it but I guess there is always a chance.
     
  12. TT30VA

    TT30VA New Member

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    I can relate to the original poster. I have been dating a girl 2 years and she told me early on she had made out with a couple girls in HS, but until the past month or so I never really brought it up. Then recently, we have gotten bolder in what we talk about and she confessed she has always wanted to go down on another girl and that it's a huge fantasy she wants to try at least once. Shortly after that I learned that she has apparently talked about this with a willing coworker of hers, and the girl has invited her over on a few occasions (she hasn't gone yet). This girl apparently really turns her on, but if I hadn't sort of forced this info out of her during sex, I don't think I would know it.

    So now I am in the same dilemma -- looks like my GF wants a threesome (or more like the two of them going down on each other while my GF and I have sex) -- and I am torn. On the one hand I really love the thought, but on the other hand I am worried that this other girl is trying to seduce my GF even though she knows about me being the BF.

    So i can relate to you man. I think if it's someone you won't see again for awhile, that is probably a better scenario than my situation, where my GF sees this girl a few days a week. I might worry about them doing stuff together behind my back, even though I trust my GF. In your case, I guess I woud be straight up honest with your GF about your concerns and see what she says. I'm planning to have that kind of talk with my GF in the next day or two, so we'll see how it goes. Good luck to you!
     
  13. SDAVIS

    SDAVIS New Member

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    Well I guess I am showing my age here, but I say, if she is up for it, go for it, even if you have to watch only. I mean, this is for her and she asked for it, you didn't. Who knows, they may both turn on you to join. I have done a cpl of these years ago, one of which was with a married older cpl and it was truly my best experience yet. It was for them, not me as I was the 3rd person. Life is short and the number of women willing to share their desires with future husbands like this are very few. Go for it and good luck!
     
  14. vickisam

    vickisam New Member

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    If you can subtract the love part, see it as only a physical sex act, that might help. That is what we do. I can watch him and he can watch me knowing its only a step away from a vibrator! WOW, deep huh?

    Good luck,

    V
     
  15. eighthalf

    eighthalf Member

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    I would say do it.
    Just think you that if you do not and you two get married she might hold it against you or you will regret it.
    The flip side is that you do go with it. It will you will then know afterwards if you two were meant for each other.

    Besides if you go ahead with it, you have that card that you could use for a later time with some fantany you want to try.
     
  16. herandme

    herandme New Member

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    agree with the last comment. haha. that could definitely work in my favor later on. I suppose the most confusing part for me is that i'm so tempted but have heard shit changes afterwards.
    I know it's 'just sex'. a big part of it probably is that she's the only girl i've ever been with, i may have not mentioned that part. She's BEAUTIFUL and would do anything for me, including support my decision to not partake in this fantasy just yet. But we'll already be married for a little over a week when the time comes and the excitement of it all hits, it may be the one thing that makes me 'dive in' so to speak.
    i also just kinda worry that if in the heat of it all she does decide to let me, or even wanted me to, have sex with the other girl, that it would make my new wife completely freaked out the day after.

    damn, i'm a blabberin fool.
     
  17. FormerFreak

    FormerFreak New Member

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    Problematic, is my vote. To simplify it all, yes, she's curious, yes, you're a man and like sex, and yes, you guys could have a bourgeoning problem on your hands if you decide to act on that impulse/fantasy. It probably seems like light-hearted fun, but 5 years, 22 y/o, a 3-some... something tells me if you want a strong relationship for the rest of your lives you'll want to hold out a little longer on the 3-some. Hey--you're only 22! How boring could fucking be that you need another party involved already?! LOL! (that's said very light-heartedly, Herandme--I'm from Jersey and "Fucking" is a staple part of my vocabulary)

    All in all, no doubt it would be fun, but it's very dangerous to a long-term relationship. Regardless of how well you think you know eachother or yourselves for that matter.

    But have fun if you do it! God knows that after a while a 3-some is a nice shift from the ordinary "in-out, in-out"!