Thoughts on swingers?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Doitagain, Jul 7, 2015.

  1. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    I am curious about how people feel about swingers in general . I doesn't matter if you don't swing , have done it in the past or currently do.

    How would you feel if you found out that some close friends are swingers? Neighbors? Co- workers? ...or even a family member?
     
    jt _couple2012 likes this.
  2. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,945
    Likes Received:
    17,222
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    I can't imagine anyone in my circle of friends being a swinger.
    As long as they are fine with it (not just going along with it bc their SO wanted to), who am I to judge?
     
    HeartsDesire and Doitagain like this.
  3. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,215
    Likes Received:
    3,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    We've done the soft swap thing a few times(girl on girl during sex) but never the full swap. That's good for us.
    We know 2 couples,1 couple being friends of ours, who are swingers. They're really cool people.
    We do role play full swaps in bed though.
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  4. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,623
    Likes Received:
    7,846
    Gender:
    Male
    We once had someone come to our door with a petition for candidates to get on the ballot. My wife and I were happy to sign and didn't think twice about it, but we thought it was a little strange that he was wearing a t-shirt from the local swingers club. we just let it go without saying anything to him even though we recognized the club name. We wondered if it was a subtle attempt at multitasking, recruiting for his political party and for new couples at the club at the same time.
     
    jt _couple2012 and Doitagain like this.
  5. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    That's actually a good idea...anybody curious in the area probably knows about the place
     
    whybother likes this.
  6. Sagittarius84

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2014
    Messages:
    592
    Likes Received:
    427
    Gender:
    Male
    Doesn't bother me at all, but depending on how the girl/girls look in the swinger/open couple, my gf gets a bit paranoid.
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  7. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2014
    Messages:
    8,236
    Likes Received:
    9,546
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Idaho, USA
    I confess - I used to look down on it. BUT! Since being a member here and actually talking to and getting to know those who do swing or are in poly-relationships and learning a lot more about How It Really Is for them, I can say my view has shifted pretty dramatically. More admiration than derision to be honest - it takes a lot of security, maturity, and open-mindedness to be in a situation like that.

    I don't think I could ever do it -- as D has pointed out to me (and she's not wrong) I tend to get very territorial with those I view as "My People." Friends, family, lovers -- if they're mine then they're mine and I'm not sharing. (I'm horrible, I know. Like a little kid that won't share his toys.)

    The main reason that I can see for poly-relationships/swinging getting such a bad wrap is that the examples people tend to hear about involved people going into it with no clue what they're doing and/or without the security in their relationship to be able to healthily and happily engage in the lifestyle. (I.E. the people who think doing an open relationship will help fix problems in their already crumbling relationship.)

    Then again I could be totally off base here -- so those who actually know something can feel free to reprimand/correct me. :)
     
  8. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Nope its well said sir. Part of the reason I asked was because of the quickly canceled show " neighbors with benifits" which had interesting parts to it and I have experienced finding out that a couple friends were swingers and had no idea before I found out. My gf at the time was not thrilled since any time I was around the female swinger friend she just figured she was trying to fuck me( she wasnt). There has been other situations
     
    BlueCollar likes this.
  9. Ra1nb0wUnderwear

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2012
    Messages:
    486
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Gender:
    Female
    I can't quite explain my thoughts. I get an almost uneasy feeling about it, but I think it's because it's something I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle within the realms of an established relationship. It makes me feel like one partner is less into it than the other. My gut instinct makes me worry for the relationship and the people in it. These are just the immediate reactions.

    Logically, I see no issue with it as long as everyone's on the same page. You do you.
     
    Doitagain and jt _couple2012 like this.
  10. jt _couple2012

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2014
    Messages:
    1,612
    Likes Received:
    4,935
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    AR
    The thought is exciting but in reality I don't think it's a good idea for us being married and in love. It may be a good idea for a couple in a non-serious relationship were there's no jealousy or fear of broken image.
     
    CLE32793 and Doitagain like this.
  11. CreamyJustice

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2012
    Messages:
    291
    Likes Received:
    379
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    US for now
    I wouldn't care... I think I'd immediately schedule a game night;).

    Anyone ever play cards against humanity?
     
    10_3XL likes this.
  12. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,215
    Likes Received:
    3,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    Been there my friend. The couple we know who are into the lifestyle, the woman is drop dead gorgeous. My wife always figured the same thing. So anytime we were invited over for drinks or night swims at their place, the offers were politely declined. Haha
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  13. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    I completely understand.
    How would you feel if you found out some good friends were swingers? Wouldn't change you outlook on them? Change anything you do? Like bluecollar said that they declined going to a friends for drinks because they were swingers and the wife was very attractive so his wife wasn't keen on going over there..just in case type thing.
     
  14. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Lol what is that?
     
  15. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,623
    Likes Received:
    7,846
    Gender:
    Male

    We have played. My wife didn't know what a lot of the terms meant. Basically any of the terms that came from porn like "bukkake" that she just never heard of. One of the funniest things would be her reaction when she would show those cards to her sister sitting next to her and her sis would whisper what they were. Sometimes it was "really? Ewww". And sometimes it was "really? Nice!"

    I was taking mental notes. Billable bad. Snowball good.

    Our games have not led to any swinging though.
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  16. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,215
    Likes Received:
    3,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    It kinda sucks. But that's part of it. Like we didn't want to offend them if we went over there and they offered a night and bed and we declined. We were more worried about offending them than us being offended by their offer. See what I'm saying?
     
  17. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    Well sort of. Wouldn't always declining be what you are worried about offending them?
     
  18. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,215
    Likes Received:
    3,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    True. And also a good point.
     
    Doitagain likes this.
  19. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    3,994
    Likes Received:
    6,596
    See in my experience I have seen a lot of people that are worried they will get hit on and just expect that the swingers are going to try and fuck them or that since they are swingers they obviously will fuck anyone so they won't or can't turn me down type thing.
     
    CLE32793 and BlueCollar like this.
  20. BlueCollar

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2014
    Messages:
    2,215
    Likes Received:
    3,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Eastern us
    Also a good point.... Fuck man. We've been profiling our friends. I guess we never thought too much about their point of view. Kinda makes me feel like a dick.
     
    CLE32793 likes this.