Thoughts During Sex

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by LilKitten, Oct 29, 2006.

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  1. LilKitten

    LilKitten New Member

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    What sort of things do you think about during sex besides the obvious things, like how it feels good, etc? Do you think about other people? If you found out your significant other was thinking about other women while having sex with you, how would you react?

    Any thoughts are appreciated.
     
  2. Dreama

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    I'm not sure what I would feel if my fiance was thinking about someone else. I mean, I would think that if you are thinking about someone else during sex, you shouldn't be with them, but this may well be normal. I've never experienced that, however. I'm always thinking about how much I love my fiance. I get really intense feelings of love for him....And since we pretty much look into each other's eyes unless it is impossible, it would be really difficult to think of anything else but one another.
     
  3. AnonymousOne

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    "Did I leave my car lights on?!?!?!"
     
  4. PhoenixRose

    PhoenixRose New Member

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    I am always thinking about how much I love spending time with him and how the sex is amazing when we are together. :)
     
  5. schwa'd

    schwa'd New Member

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    So other than the obvious I can contribute this oddity...when i work nights (as a nurse) and my bofriend wakes me up for nookie (when i've only been asleep a couple of hours), it really confuses me. i know what's goin' on, but i find myself thinking "which patient is this for?"
     
  6. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Sometimes I enjoy fantasies. For example:

    I imagine Im Cortes with Melinka, the Aztec princess who he nailed. From that union came the first mixed-race Mexican.

    Or sometimes I imagine women who are inaccesable to me but beautiful. Often they are girls I know. Ill go through several of them in the same session.

    And then if Im trying to put the brakes on to avoid coming too quickly, I recite the alphabet backwards. I seldom get farther than "T".
     
  7. HardRocker

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    Whenever I start to think about someone else, I start to fade. If I'm getting there too fast, I'll think about baseball or something.
     
  8. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Uhm, if I'm the real body you are using for your pleasure..... ya better not mention to me that you're thinking of someone else. Not a good plan.
     
  9. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I'm not really "thinking" during sex because it's such a primal and purely physical act. Therefore there's not a lot of thinking going on. It's all feeling. I've asked my boyfriend what he thinks about (if anything) during sex, and he said that he's mostly concentrating on business of having sex, not coming too soon, etc, to be thinking about much of anything.
     
    #9 Puss_in_boots, Oct 30, 2006
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2006
  10. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Hi LilKitten

    Some of the folks contributing so far might poor hot water on me for admitting that I quite often fantisise about women other than my wife when having sex.

    But then my mind often indulges in fantasy.

    I would never divulge that to her as it could well be very upsetting.

    But at the same time I am totally happy for her to have similar thoughts.

    Fantasies are just that and so long as it adds to the excitement that's fine by me.

    Fantasies that remain in one's head are totally harmless and can indeed be very beneficial. :dgrin
     
  11. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Is it a fantasy that just remains in your head if it affects the way you make love with and connect to your wife??
     
  12. Bluesy

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    I used to fantasize about scenarios I'd seen in porn when my ex was performing oral on me, and I'd sometimes think about having sex with other guys during the act. Our sex life left a lot to be desired...so fantasy was almost a necessity in order for me to really enjoy myself.

    I don't think you can really be with someone, share any sort of spiritual or emotional connection, during sex if you're thinking about someone else. It seems to me like it would be just another form of masturbation in that case.
     
  13. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Melicious you posted a fascinating question!

    I can see this topic getting very deep which is good!

    I guess it all depends on how one defines the word fantasy.

    For me that means sexually exciting private thoughts that might well involve a mental image of someone other than one's current partner.

    It might be triggered by something very simple such as visual turn on that was experienced at the office today.

    Fantasies like that make me buzz with sexual energy. And they may appear in my mind when experiencing intimate joy with my wife.

    Thoughts of that nature I view as totally harmless as they are self contained and nothing other than exciting thoughts.

    But to put this in perspective, there is for me, only one true love and sexual partner in my life and that is my wife.

    Now I can imagine some people thinking, "If you are having those thoughts, you ain't that true to your partner....??"

    Well I would beg to differ on that one.

    That raises the question of exactly what constitutes true faithfullness?

    Physical acts are easy to define.

    Mental thoughts are much more tricky and complex.

    Whether you agree with me or not, at least I've worn my heart on my sleeve by being totally honest.
     
  14. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    And I wasn't judging by asking. I swear. I've been pretty open and honest here about faithfulness, etc. Sometimes I think about the person I'm with and no one else. The times that rock are the times when I can't think of anyone or anything else but the here and now. Yummm....
     
  15. eandvk

    eandvk Member

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    During sex Im thinking of my partner.....if Im thinking at all.....depends on what we are doing at the time too...if Im going down on her I look for facial and body expressions as to when she will cum..if we are having IC and Im behind her...am definitely thinking what a sexy butt my wife has!
     
  16. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Melicious

    You are a gem totally!

    I personally thank you for your input on this interesting topic.

    You know, having read my comments so far, I do wonder whether other observers might reasonably think that when I make love to my wife, I just dream about other women.

    Quite wrong if I depicted that situation. (But as Tesco says, Every little helps!)

    Things need to be taken into perspective.

    I showed my wife this whole thread tonight..... eeech!!!

    She was fine with it.

    She laughed and said, "Next time we do it, I want at least two orgasms for your single one!"

    I'll make sure she gets that!! ::cool
     
  17. LilKitten

    LilKitten New Member

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    Wow guys, thanks for all your responses. The thing that sparked this conversation for me is that I found out that occasionally my boyfriend does think of other women during sex. I think I always assumed that he did every once in awhile but to actually have him admit it kind of threw me for a loop. I wasn't sure how to react to it - if I should be angry or understanding. I don't think of other people during sex, unless for some odd reason a thought like "Oh, I have to call Michael tomorrow" pops into my head, which is a rare occasion since the sex is usually so good that all I can think of is the sex.

    But I'm not certain that because I don't do it doesn't mean that it's wrong for others to do it. But at the same time, I agree with what someone stated earlier - that it doesn't seem possible to maintain a tight, loving connection with your significant other during sex if they are thinking of someone else. To me, sex is something that two people who love and care for each other share and somehow, that love almost seems mocked if one of the participants is thinking about having sex with someone else.

    I don't know...I guess I still am not sure how I want to deal with the admission. I asked my boyfriend out of the blue if he thought of other women during sex and he answered me honestly, so I suppose that's an honest thing. He could have lied through his teeth about it. :)
     
  18. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    I'm against putting "thought rules and regulations"! Like Brad says, I don't divulge much about it, except here at SF. And I don't think us guys "try" to think during sex! It's just happens, like breathing! And I don't think it means you love your lady less if your mind flies to the moon and back with some wild ideas! And girls do do it too! I've had girls confess they had thoughts of being savaged by army troops, or the local priest; all kinds of things!
     
  19. BustHer

    BustHer New Member

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    Fantasy

    We have been married for over 22 years and these are my thoughts however feeble they may be. When I first started masturbating I found it was much better to fantasize about some sexy girl I knew or happened to see on TV. It never took much LOL. Ladies are so very sexy they just make you cum. Once I started having sex with the ladies I found that after a few encounters it was still a very big turn on to be with someone and have a fantasy while in the act. After marrige and raising two children we were adjusted to quickies as we had very little time. Now the kids are all grown and on their own we have alot of time to play and I still fantasize about other people. Mostly now its about another couple being with us or MFM, FMF threesomes but all include my wife as she is and always will be the apple of my eye.
    This thread is indeed thought provoking as now I wonder if fantasizing during sex is simply conditioning by masturbation when young or something we need to keep the sex life exciting in long term realationships. Whichever it is I still enjoy it and have no plans to exclude it from our sex lives. The wife does it as well and we are very open about it and sometimes we share them with each other while we are having sex so we can help each other get to the place in extacy we both want to be...... sometimes we are almost savage and raw in our love making with no thought at all as to what we are doing, it can be very liberating because we both feel no expectations from the other at those times. Kinda kinky I guess but that is how I feel about it.....:bow All bow to the ladies for they are what we desire most......;)
     
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