This is probly the stranges thread you'll read here

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by goingtohell, Oct 13, 2006.

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  1. goingtohell

    goingtohell New Member

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    I've been seeing providers almost all of my adult life, from 24 to 34. Actually I lost my virginity to a 35 yo Chinese provider at some seedy incall in NYC. In the 10 years of soliciting I've spend maybe $30k (and counting) on providers and the routine has almost always been the same for me: light petting --> cbj --> cfs. I'm so bored with it I can't see straight and I think I've developed several sexual problems because of it though this can be down to my chronic kidney issues, I'm not sure and neither is my nephrologist. The first time I had sex with my first girlfriend that I won at 33, I could not achieve an erection. And now I have erection problems, it takes a lot of stimulation for the provider to get me fully hard and even then it's an iffy thing.

    I just got out of my one and only semi-real(?) relationship of 10 months and now I'm back in the game. I'm always nice and respectful, never ever raise my voice or my hand, and I always listen to what my date has to say about her life, so what's the deal? Am I just that ugly?

    I have a lot more to write but I thought I should keep it short, why spill my guts and ask for advice if no one give a hoot. So if anyone is interested in my continuation, I'll elaborate.
     
  2. HardRocker

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    If your bloodwork is way off as in partial kidney failure, that could surely cause erectile dysfunction. Sounds like you have some psycological issues that you should figure out too. So it may be a combination of both.
    I've been on dialysis since my kidneys failed 20 years ago. I could get it up during the 10 years prior to dialysis while they were failing and still can today, although at 50 years old it ain't quite nearly the ramrod it was back then. My nephrologist used to always ask how my sex life was... perv!

    Hope this isn't too much yucky info for all you readers.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    You didn't give us a clue as to why you go with prostitutes.
    Are you homely, Stay fucked up on drugs-alcohol all the time
    Or just haven't a clue as to how to go about getting a real date.
    And do you want one.
    These things must be answered before anyone here can give
    you any intelligent advice.
    And why is your kidney messed up.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I used to sometimes see sex workers when I was younger between girlfriends, but in Australia sex work is legal, and the girls were generally young and attractive with a nice attitude. I didn't think myself a loser, but apart from a need satisified, it was clear these girls were more sexually open and liberated than the typical girlfriend. As a man it was relaxing beyond all belief to be pampered and to be the target of erotic attention, rather than running the show as is the case in most normal sexual encounters. Which isn't to say that I didn't do my bit, at first it was surprising that the girls could get turned on to orgasm during a paid encounter. But then, on reflection, maybe not.

    I know that seeing sex workers is very different. You don't have to work at flirting with someone, and then talking to them, and then going the full gamut of relationship. You don't face the prospect of rejection, it suits guys who fear rejection or have been rejected once too often. You pay your money and she'll be the greatest actress in the world for an hour, and then it is over and your satisfied until the next one.

    But it is paid-for sex, and no matter how you justify if, it isn't a substitute for a real relationship. I always counsel guys who are borderline addictive with prostititutes to get out and find real girls. After three semi-long-term relationships with nice women, but not women for life, and the use of prostitutes between these relationships, I went to an introduction agency (this was well before the Internet by the way). A few months later I met my now wife.

    I have partial erectile dysfunction caused by the after affects of a serious illness, and I keep my health under control and use medications to perform. If your illness is affecting your abilities, there are a range of treatment options from medications (cialis, viagra, levitra) to injections to penile implants (guaranteed to work). For more information on how to have a good sex life even with illness, go to the alt.support.impotence web site. There is a discussion group on Yahoo by them as well. Both will be excellent sources of information. Certainly the information on ED benefited me, and I am having more and better sex now than any time in my life.
     
  5. jennypenny

    jennypenny New Member

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    It would be best to get a blood test if you haven't already, to get tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Just go to your family doctor. They have to keep everything confidential. And you definetly need to seek some counseling as well, because you have some big sexual problems, and other problems it sounds like. I'm getting the impression that you have been mis-treated, possibly the one that got dumped by your ex. Never let anyone take away your dignity! Good luck, stay safe and healthy!
     
  6. Bluesy

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    I think this wisdom probably applies equally to Goingtohell's situation. It sounds to me like it might be a self-esteem/fear of rejection/interpersonal skills problem, which would be best addressed by a professional counselor.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    Because of my prior experience, I am a part-time moderator of a sex industry forum in Australia (offering reviews of the various working ladies). I do see many threads from men where it is clear they do suffer from rejection anxiety.

    As for me, my prior experience was when I was in the mood for sex, and didn't want to go through the late nights at a nightclub scene in the hope of scoring some casual action. Given it is legal, it was civilised and safe. In fact, a legal sex industry is a good 'safety valve' as long as men understand that real sex with a real person who cares for you is a whole lot better that anything you can buy.
     
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