This is a weird one...well it seems that way to me...help?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BobbyG, Nov 7, 2010.

  1. BobbyG

    BobbyG New Member

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    This is a weird one.
    It’s weird because I seem to ‘suffer’ from premature ejaculation (PE) - but it doesn’t affect my wife’s pleasure; it only affects mine.
    Let me explain…

    If I was to enter my wife and thrust continuously, I haven’t timed it, but I am sure I would only last about a minute or so.
    The sight of my wife and the feeling of full penetrative sex is soo intense for me that I cannot understand how other men can thrust continuously inside the woman they love for over 5 minutes (for example) and still not climax. Have they not got nerve endings on their dicks or something? Doesn’t the mere sight of their lady turn them on? I dunno.
    Maybe I’m an ultra visual and sensual person that gets turned on very easily.. again, I dunno.

    To get around this ‘1 minute climaxing’ I make sure I thrust for say half a minute in one position, and then go back to some foreplay on my wife (to cool myself down) and to keep her horny, before re-entering my wife for more thrusting.
    So in this way I can pleasure my wife for as long as I want, as long as I don’t thrust for more than half a minute.
    I always make sure that my wife climaxes before me. I let her have whatever she wants to achieve this. Lucky for me she never asks for continuous thrusting :)

    My personal desire though is to thrust continuously for a good few minutes without climaxing. It's just the best part of sex for me.
    And this is why it’s a weird one.
    I can ‘have sex’ with my wife for as long as she wants, and I can always ensure she enjoys her time in bed, BUT I cannot get myself to experience my own personal desire for long continuous thrusting.

    I have got around this in the past by using condoms – they do indeed numb the feeling and make you last longer, but they also take away a lot of pleasure for both wifey and me.
    I have also climaxed early on and then worked my way back to a second erection, which does tend to last a lot longer than the first erection. But, alas, the pleasure of a second coming is far below the first time come, which has its own unique, sought after pleasure. And also, after coming a first time I don’t feel it’s fair on my wife as I’m not so ‘up for it’ on the second time round. I can make her come easily, but it feels very mechanical for me as if I’m just going through the motions, so to speak. I’m pretending I’m enjoying myself when I’m not. But as long as my wife is fully satisfied I am happy for her. But I hate pretending even though she doesn’t know and still climaxes.

    It's weird cos my wife is 200% satisfied after sex every time, whilst I'm probably bubbling around the 80% satisfaction mark... :ugh

    Any tips then, people?
    Have I really got PE?
     
  2. HardRocker

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    You didn't say if you had been with your wife for years or if it had been a fairly short time. If it's a short time, I'm thinking if you can learn to just get pleasure from getting her off, then your problem will gradually resolve itself.

    As for your question about PE, I'd say, yeah if it's sooner than you want, then it's premature.

    I'll leave it for someone else to tell you what they think if you and your wife have been married for a long time. I've been married a long time and PE went away after I got used to regular sex.
     
  3. BobbyG

    BobbyG New Member

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    We've been married for 6 years +
     
  4. igor

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    I don't see your situation as wierd. Even at my age I still have the same problem. At least you abide by the "she comes first rule" which is good, and that's what I had to do as well. Starting and stopping and changing positions can help as you know. I assume you are fairly young and ageing will help. How often do you have sex? Having it more often can also help.
     
  5. wilber

    wilber Member

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    How long after ejaculation before you are ready to go again? If it is a short time I would suggest a blow job to start and then see if you can hang in there a little longer on #2.

    If you give her a little oral pleasure up front also I'm sure she will think this is a great idea.
     
  6. Alwayslearningsex

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    You have some work to do on yourself, and on her. You say she enjoys.
    Let's start with you. You need to do some stop and go, and your wife needs to be patient for this. Learn about your genitals. Maybe your wife can ride you for a while and she pulls out when you get close.
    The learning part, you feel your balls get tight as you approach ejaculation? Sort of massage them out of that tightness, somewhat firmly.
    When they get close they are in ejaculation position. Also leaving the penis alone for a while lets the sensations decrease so you can last.
    Repeat as many times as possible before you lose control.
    Also go online to learn about PC muscle exercises for men to help you.
    So many versions of how many seconds to hold and relax and exercises I just picked the 5 seconds on, 5 seconds off for myself, it works well.
    Also there is something about pressing on the penis behing the balls when the ejaculation may happen, as you stop all stimulation.
    For HER now, take the time to stimulate her g spot and clitoris to build her up, and when she is ready she can tell you. You get inside and give her intercourse. Possible you may cum before at first so go back to hands and mouth. GO online to learn a few things about her anatomy ,and turn her on in verbal ways too, it doesn't have to be dirty talk..
     
  7. FlirtyChick

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    I am a lady, and I was married for 13 years, with the same man for about 15. HR is right. The more you do it, the more control you have over it.....take your time and enjoy.....

    I hope your wife knows how lucky she is to have you in her bed.

    -FC
     
  8. BobbyG

    BobbyG New Member

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    After the first climax I am still erect for a good ten minutes or more. If I accidently come before my wife I make sure this ten minute period is reserved for her to climax in with me inside her in whatever position she chooses for her climax. It is slightly painful for me, but I feel it is important, if not vital, that she never ends sex without climaxing herself.

    The problem (if you can call it that) is that if she climaxes before me she more often than not becomes really (and I mean really) drowsy as if her climax has drugged her up. In this state she is naturally not really up for further sex, which kind of brings the session to an end. Is this normal?

    Soo, if I come before her, I have to physically 'force' myself to then make sure she also climaxes not long after, before my 10 minute erection-waning period ends.
    And if she comes before me, the session ends without me being 100% fulfilled.
    It's like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place :)

    It's weird because I can only really thrust continuously inside her for say a minute before I come, whereas she can masturbate me for ages (over 10 minutes) and even then I may not come! It must be something about having sex with her that sends me over the edge :ugh



    Thanks for taking the time to write that up.
    I have awareness of when I am about to come and that's when I withdraw and get back to stimulating her in other ways.
    That's not a problem for me. I can also control my climaxing by the using the muscles there.
    My issue here is that I want my continuous thrusting to last longer without having to use the muscles and without having to press my balls, so to speak. I want to endure without having to employ the brakes if you see what I mean.


    I agree with that.
    I do have more control as the years have gone by.
    I do take my time on foreplay with my wife to ensure she is ready for me, and I do enjoy the foreplay and teasing aspect of things - as does she.

    Maybe I am asking for too much :ugh
    I just want to also have that "continuous thrusting" fantasy of mine fulfilled.
    Maybe I am asking too much. Maybe I should be grateful with what I have got and what I can give. No one is perfect, eh?
     
  9. igor

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    Nothing abnormal about that. Actual intercourse is usually more stimulating than any other sex act. it is the most intimate time you have and therefore the most stimulating. I wish I could prolong that time myself but it is really hard.