Third time a Charm

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by bucky, Apr 11, 2008.

  1. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    I was just wondering how many people on :sf have been divorced, what caused it, and how they handled it.

    For me, I have been divorced twice, the first, I married my high school sweetheart. After 11 years we basically just grew apart.

    The second was a rebound thing that lasted 18 months. She was the "bitch" I've talked about in other posts.

    The third is the most wonderful person I have ever met. In 18 years of bliss we have never argued or even raised our voices at each other. We are soul mates for eternity.

    Just an aside, I have only made love to three women in my life. Monogamous to the max.
     
  2. Hot Wheels

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    Your indeed lucky to have found her too bucky.....:tup

    As for divorce, yep, been there...:eek:
    One of the darkest times of my life....and, to be honest, not something I'd care to recount.....:(
     
  3. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Didn't mean to bring up things that are best forgotten. I was really thinking about how many of us married too young and realized what a mistake it was.

    Sorry:ugh
     
  4. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    I'm on...

    ...on my third.


    The first was a high school sweetheart, like your case. Lasted 3 years. We went on a trip to Puerto Rico and she got sick and died from some poisonous mushrooms. It was horrible. Took awhile to move on from that.

    The second one, we made it about 10 years. Had kids, nice house, the works. She liked French food and we were in Paris for our 10 anniversary and she got sick one night, went into a coma and died. Same thing; poisonous mushrooms. Both cases local cuisine was a factor, and a blase attitude about the risks of wild mushrooms, much like the traditions of some sushi's where, once in awhile, certain fish can kill you.

    My current wife, well, so far it is totally different. She won't go near mushrooms, so, I have to figure something else out...
     
  5. heelfetish

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    Holy shit, LP! :eek
     
  6. cook74

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    You are the biggest bullshit artist!!! :eek When I first read this thread I was going to say something consoling. And then I deleted my post as I just reread your last line...

    You are a bad, bad man :yell

    Although I am kind of laughing at my own simplicity and gullibility right now :eek:
     
  7. heelfetish

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    On the ever so slight chance that the opposite is true and that the last line is the joke, I'll still offer my condolences. Yeah, I'm gullible.
     
  8. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    WOW! OK, Bucky...we've just GOT to know how you and her managed to accomplish this. Do tell...

    BD
     
  9. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    It's really simple. Communication, communication, communication.

    We talk about everything and don't do anything without talking about it first.
     
  10. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    Also we have the same interests. I play guitar and she sings. We do retreats for religious groups when we can.
     
  11. Bluesy

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    I'm with Cook...I call bullshit ;) Damn, LP, you are on a roll lately, my friend! :lol
     
  12. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Hmmm...you don't argue nor raise your voices at each other...are both of you laid-back, easygoing types? Or is one easygoing and the other less so?

    By "don't do anything without talking about it first", I assume you mean neither one makes any important decision or commits to something without getting the other's sincere feedback first, right? How do you handle it when you simply don't agree on something?

    Everyone has disagreements...but disagreements don't have to become explosive arguments nor ongoing latent conflicts. How do you guys handle disagreements?

    Sorry for all the questions, but it sure sounds like you guys are good role models for all of us.

    And I'd really like to understand more about whether your successes are a function of "how you are" or "what you do". (Not that those two aren't definitely related.) For instance, if you get along because both of you are laid-back, I'd say that's based of "how you are" (neither one of you wants to argue, so you don't!). But, if one of you is laid-back (and thus has to frequently give in to the one who is more wound-up) and the other is more wound-up (and thus has to make a conscious effort to not over-react, etc.), I'd say that's more based on "what you do". With me on the distinction? Just curious on this point...tell us more!

    BD
     
  13. Bluesy

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    You give me hope, Bucky :) I am one marriage down and only doing it again if I'm 100% certain that it will be the last. I married too young (engaged at 19, married at 22), but we really weren't that well-suited for one another...everything was rainbows and rocket ships the first two years, and then we settled into an extremely mediocre rut when our differences came to the fore. I was big on emotional intimacy, he was somewhat distant, kept things on a superficial level at best, and was satisfied with the way things were. I had an affair and left him for the "other man", the end.

    If only I knew then... But I suppose we sometimes learn our most valuable lessons via our biggest blunders.
     
  14. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Yup...the intelligent folks learn as much (or more) from their mistakes as they do from their successes. ;)

    BD
     
  15. Bluesy

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    I have learned way more from my blunders, that's for sure! You either become wiser and savvier, or you're doomed to repeat your failures indefinitely. The way I see it, personal growth as a consequence of falling flat on your face is the best survival mechanism there is.
     
  16. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    :D Wait...doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results...isn't that...insanity? ;)

    Oh...like your new avatar, Bluesaaaay...:brow

    BD
     
  17. Bluesy

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    Oh, hey, I'm rather fond of your avy, too :brow Oh, wait, I think I've mentioned that before...but, oh hell, it bears repeating :phat :dgrin :bow:phat

    Insanity? Ha! Oh, definitely...of the White Coat Resort type :ugh

    Btw, I was not exactly the Perfect Wife back in the day, either (I didn't mean to make it sound like it was all his fault...marital troubles are never one-sided, of course).
     
  18. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    What?

    :halo:


    :D
     
  19. Dreama

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    LP, you're a bastard. I love ya, but you almost had me, too!
     
  20. Joe

    Joe
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    LP... :flip You got me too. NOT funny!

    Well, maybe just a little bit funny. :lol




    Divorced. It was probably mostly a result of marrying too young. She changed a lot one way, and I changed a little another way. She didn't like sex and I did. After 12-15 years of no sex, I called it quits.