thinking about having a threesome

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by littlemiss, Sep 30, 2006.

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  1. littlemiss

    littlemiss New Member

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    so im thinking about having a threesome w/my bf and his ex-gf. I like the idea, i find other women attractive but i guess the only apprehension i have is that it is HIS ex. he has this fantasy of having sex w/her and having me watch. i know he fantasizes about her when he masterbates and he's even admitted to me that they have a strong sexual attraction to each other. is it a bad idea to have a threesome with her? we've talked about it before and he's put it off cause he sees that i'm apprehensive. he's talked to me about it, saying that he would never get back w/her cause he knows that it wouldn't work out and that he loves me. and he says that if he has sex w/her, it wouldn't mean anything and wouldn't fall in love w/her cause it's over between them. what do you guys think? i need help!
     
  2. 22JessicaWu

    22JessicaWu New Member

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    If its a purely physical attraction he has for her, it would explain why she's his EX. So it would seem safe. He also might be romanticizing her, remembering only the good and not the bad. Reality can be a wake up call!

    BTW, your first sentence is describing a foursome?
     
  3. littlemiss

    littlemiss New Member

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    nope, just a threesome w/my bf, his ex and myself.

    i think im just overanalyzing the whole situation and freaking out for nothing.
     
  4. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I think....... are you sitting down? I think your gut feeling on this is absolutely right. If your man wants to fuck his ex-girlfriend again, there is a problem. I cannot even imagine the cahoneys it took to suggest that. In my opinion, it's not a polite "no honey, I'm just not comfortable with the idea". My gut is screaming "FUCK NO!" Never with someone from your or his past. No way. No how. NO. The underlying reason that he wants to be with her and have you watch cannot be good. Not by any stretch.

    Is she so amazing in bed that he wants YOU to see it and learn from her? Fuck that. He can explain it to you and teach you. You don't need her. If he needs her.....ya'all have a problem my friend.

    His wanting to fuck her while you watch is not a threesome, by the way.

    You say you are attracted to other women; are you attracted to HER? Tell me you are.... I won't believe you. If you aren't, then fuck no!

    If it's over between them then let it be over. If the two of you, YOU and YOUR lover, are interested in a threesome, I say find someone who interests you both. This situation is screaming "DANGER"!
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I'm quite inclined to agree with Miss Mel.

    If a threesome is what you two desire, go out of your perimeter of personal history. Find someone new to both of you. Let it be a decision you both make together. That way, you're both on level playing ground.

    And for what it's worth, I would keep my eye on the two of them. Seriously. If he can't get the sex with your "blessing", he may be so into this fantasy, that he seeks the pleasure on his own. Masturbating to a the thoughts of a former lover is a bad sign. It's an indication that he hasn't quite moved on.

    Just my $.02 worth :rose
     
  6. Thorn

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    Yeah, if I was in your place it would definitelyly raise a red flag for me. You really don't know what might happen if you all carry this out. She might use the situation to try to break you and b/f up and get him back. Even if your b/f is truthful and says it's over between him and her it could rekindle after he fucks her.
     
  7. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    And if it isn't really over, whether he believes it is or not, then he will have used you to get HER back. I just think the ways this can go wrong FARRRRRR outweigh any possibility of it working out well.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I am in full agreement with Mel, Rose and Thorn.
    But may I add 1/2cents worth.
    Their is lots of people in the swinging community looking
    to have 3somes. So if you are comfortable with it suggest
    it to him and then do it. But don't ever even consider doing it with his ex
    that sounds like he just wants 2 current girl friends.
    Quiet frankly he would be the ex if I were you.
     
  9. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Yes the "ex" part is a red flag. Better off with a stranger so there is no connection. Should be just a sex toy IMO not an ex-lover.
     
  10. Katrene

    Katrene New Member

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    My 3 way

    A while back, my husband's friend, a black guy, came over
    and they took turns on me most of the day.
    It was OK til about 6 PM when my husband had to go outside
    for awhile.
    I was sitting on the couch in my nightgown when the friend came
    over to me and reached his hand out to me.
    When I took his hand, he pulled me up and forced me back into
    the bedroom.
    He pushed me down on the bed and rolled me over, face down.
    I had told him that I couldn't handle anal very well but, I knew what
    he was going to do.
    He held me down and pulled my nightgown up to my waist.and
    laid down on my back.
    He was already prepared because he was lubed up.
    He started forcing himsef into me and I was begging him to stop
    but he wouldn't
    He entered me and it hurt like hell. he was way too big for this
    He pulled out and I though it was over but he slapped my ass really
    hard and then forced his cock back into me.
    This time he went in all the way and started pumping me really hard
    It was his third time to get off and it took forever.
    The whole time, I was begging him to stop but he wouldn't.
    When he finally finished he had shot his cum into me
    He pulled out and got off of me and walked out of the bedroom.
    When I looked, my husband was standing in the doorway, just looking at me
    Then he came over to me and got on my back and did it, too,
     
  11. AnonymousOne

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    /\

    How does this remotely relevent to the discussion at hand?
    3 people and sex were involved? That's where the corolation ends.
     
  12. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    And you're still with him?
     
  13. Katrene

    Katrene New Member

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    An explanation

    I posted this to warn women who might be considering doing this.
    Things can get out of control.
    Looking back at it, it wasn't that bad as far as I probably could have stopped it if I had protested more.
    And, no, I haven't left my husband. He is a great guy and things had just built up over the years and needed to be released. I found out that a sexually frustrated man, we're talking years here, may not always be in control. Look at all of the drunk rednecks!
     
  14. pirouette

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    Very true, indeed. A lot of couples seem to toy with the idea of a threesome without really hammering out all of the details. Communication might be awkward sometimes, but definately neccessary. Otherwise, something similar to your situation can occur.
     
  15. MysticKev

    MysticKev New Member

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    I agree with pirouette, my mulligan on my marriage came to an abrupt halt due to lack of communication of boundries and such....
     
  16. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Tonight is not my night on SF. I will have to simply say that a) I apoligize for contributing to this thread going off topic b) we cannot fight for "No means NO!" and then say it's okay when someone didn't listen to the word no. Sexual frustration, in my humble opinion, is no excuse at all to show that kind of disrespect. If one of those drunk rednecks pushed you down on a bed and did you in the ass while you yelled at him to stop, he'd be in jail for rape. Even a drunk redneck married to the ass he was taking his frustration out on.
     
  17. MysticKev

    MysticKev New Member

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    well my ex- decided to take our openess in the bedroom and use it against me out in public by groping someone in front of all my friends out of anger...
     
  18. SDAVIS

    SDAVIS New Member

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    Yea, I used to think having a 3some with my wife and another woman or guy would be total peak of pleasure, but mentioning it was a BAD idea. We just weren;t at that stage of marriage even after several years. And, men and women view it very differently, atleast we did. If you both view it in the same manner, it might be ok. If one views it as a chance to do someone new and the other one is just going along, there will be problems. Of one views it as a way to make the other jealous, it will blow up. If you both view it as a chance to ass spice and experience someone new without blowing up a marriage, it might work, but the risks are huge. There is always teh chance that your partner might decide they like sex with others and not invite you next time. This takes ALOT of trust and honesty, two thing lacking among most cpls I think today.
     
  19. AnonymousOne

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    I think that the point of this thread was a distinct warning about the fact that one girl is a an ex of the male involved.

    I think we all understand that "No means No" and that things can get completely out of control. But what happened is by no means typical. We all know the risks.
     
  20. -G-

    -G- New Member

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    If you are really interested in a 3some with your bf then i suggest giving it a try with a person you are both interested in that isnt his ex first.
     
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