thinking about girlfriends past too often...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by whosaidthat, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. whosaidthat

    whosaidthat New Member

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    hey everyone...

    so right now im in a loving relationship with this girl whom i met through a good buddy of mine. her and i started dating after she broke up with the friend.

    because i know the guy and had heard things about their sex life while i was just their mutual acquaintance (before any feelings between her and i developed), im now miserable when i start to think about her and him being intimate such a short time ago... and this leads to thinking about her with other previous boyfriends, etc and it all just gets blown out of proportion in my head.

    what are some things you tell yourself to keep from worrying about such petty former situations?

    thanks much.
     
  2. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Unless you were a virgin when you met her you should understand.
    Try thinking that she's entitled to have had a life before she met you and it's none of your business.

    Ask yourself the following questions:
    Do you enjoy making love to her?
    Did he ruin her in any way?
    Does she enjoy making love with you?

    If the answers are yes, no, yes, do your best to put it out of your mind or start looking for a virgin.
     
  3. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    The other thing is , she chose to be with you, she is no longer with the other guys before you, you are the one who gets to be with her, so you are the lucky one that is with her.
    Dont think about the past as it has gone by, the present and the future you have together is far far more important.

    But Elvis put it in a very good way. I hadnt thought of it that way, and there 3 very good questions.
     
  4. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    The girl I first had sex with was a professional whore, but I didn't find out for quite a while after we'd been having sex. I was 19 and impressionable, but for some reason it didn't put me off at all.
    I even took her to meet clients in my van and waited outside while she fucked them in it. She always used condoms with them!

    It was a good part of the life learning curve for me and I thoroughly enjoyed fucking her before and after her business was done. That relationship lasted for 18 months and I still have pleasant memories of her as one of the best shags ever.
     
  5. Dreama

    Gold Member

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    I don't think you should worry. How can she help what is in her past? It isn't fair to judge, unless you are willing to let her judge your past experiences.
     
  6. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    WhoSaidThat
    I have always felt that what a Woman does before
    I met Her is Her business, I have never even
    asked my wife if She has sex with anyone
    when I wasn't dating Her.
    Look on the bright side of it If She was
    having great sex before you met Her and
    She is now going with you then you must be
    doing something right that She loves.

    Hiker:sf
     
  7. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    My wife's past has made her who she is today. We both were freaks and finally found each other. I know her past, but I cannot remember the details, because she was busy :) Hey, what can I say, she loves sex.

    That is definitely to my advantage.

    She is a selfless awesome woman, that knows how to treat her man. I have never been insecure, as I know how to treat and respect her, as she is.

    My only jealousy is about the time she told my she slept wiht her girlfriend. I would have loved to been there for that ;)

    If you like what you see in your partner, be thankful for her past. It is what defines us. If you are bothered by it, it will drive a wedge between you.

    If you are looking for a virgin, go for it, but I like my woman a little on the trashy side. A girl that knows what she likes, and is not afraid to grab it.

    Peace out !
     
  8. Babiegurl

    Babiegurl New Member

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    Since you know the previous BF, your friend, quiet personlly it affects you more then if you didnt know the previous bf. You are think way too much into it. She chose to be with you and you with her. Your going to have to let it go, most girls have had a partner or two or five or whatever. If your really having issues with it you need to talk to her about it. You have to be open with her in order to have a good relationship. She isnt with any of her past guys for a reason so look it as a godsend for you! She is with you, focus on that!
     
  9. Emart

    Emart New Member

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    I'm in almost the exact same situation, so I share the same thoughts as you.

    To be honest, there's really no consolation for it. If someones history bothers you, that's just the way it is. All you can do is decide if the good and happiness you get out of the relationship outweighs how much her past makes it less special.

    I came to the conclusion that it did indeed, by far, outweight the bad because I love her as a person, and her past is what has shaped her character and turned her into the person she is today. Maybe a little cheesy, but it gets me throught the day :)
     
  10. Swingercast

    Swingercast New Member

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    Exactly! Ditto to indagroove!

    That's good advice.

    John
     
  11. swingers

    swingers New Member

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    I think that what happened in the past should stay there.What's happening now it's important.For example I found out that my girlfriend loves swinger parties after 3 months we started dating.And now I love them to.
     
  12. LS69

    LS69 Member

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    What she done before you is over. so leave it in the past.You are her now and probably her future. so dont sweat it. She cant help what has already happened .
     
  13. Havok

    Havok New Member

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    I can relate to this situation. My girlfriend is older than me and had a lot more partners than I have had. I think that every once in a while it pops into my mind, but I try not to let it bother me. The past is the past, and no one can change what has happened. If you really like this girl you will have to except the situation as it is and try to focus on all the good things about her. Honestly, no relationship is without problems, but people stay together because they know that they can work past them and be happy together...despite what has happened in the past and in previous relationships...
     
  14. sed.

    sed. New Member

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    i dont really know how to answer this.... because i have a rule about never dating a girl that one of your buddies has dated or had sex with....... so in all honesty i think the last bf loves it that you think about this type of thing with his sloppy seconds and all. sorry if that sounds harsh, but i have had numerous good friends of mine date my old girlfriends and i laugh about it because i had the girls first and i know they think about this kind of stuff when they start dating the ex's..... just make sure you are all on good terms.

    you just need to know what you want to think and be happy about it in the end.