Thinking about buying my gf a toy...

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Jayce, Jun 21, 2006.

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  1. Jayce

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    My girlfriend has never once even slightly hinted at a sex toy, and quite frankly I don't think she'd think too highly of them either, mostly due to inexperience and having to hide it when she's home for the summer. Main reason I'm thinking about it is, I think it's be a nice subsitute from my little member because her and I had intercourse but then decided afterwards that, yeah it was great, but right now it just seems too risky. She isn't on BC yet but plans to go on BC for the added benefits of BC (regulating period, etc). So the few times we did go all out, we relied on condoms, which quite frankly using just condoms isn't that fun because of the paranoia I have with always checking them to make sure everything's a-okay. :(

    So anyway, I thought maybe I'd get her a toy to spice things up a little bit. I figured it would pose as a nice subsitute when we are getting down and dirty, eliminating the risk of pregnancy, which in my opinion would make that care free love making session even more enjoyable.

    The thing I'm unsure of is how to bring it up with her. I've thought about just blurting it out sometime when we're alone and we happen to be talking about sex, I thought about trying to ease it into the conversation we'd be having, etc. Overall, the best thing I could come up with would be to tell her I have a very personal question to ask her, then ask what she'd think about a vibrator. I'd hear her out, then tell her my story of why I think it'd be a nice addition (and smart if we'd use it in place of us having intercourse for the time being).

    What if I just bought it for her, and someday just gave it to her and explained myself? I think she might even be a little offended though, for me to just hand her a box with a rubber dick in it. Meh... ideas?

    The other big reason I was thinking she'd like a vibrator is the fact that... are you guys ready for this? She doesn't masturbate... She has tried it in the past and told me she just can't get the same feelings by herself as she does when it's me doing the work, and I guess that makes her frustrated. I would think if she had a little toy to play with, she'd be more prone to masturbate. I honestly wish she would every once in a while, it's one hell of a nice stress reliever, and sometimes when you're cramming for finals you just need that release.
     
    #1 Jayce, Jun 21, 2006
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2006
  2. Jayce

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    Aww. 17 views and not even a female could chime in with any opinions or suggestions? :(

    Tomorrow evening her and I are having some alone time again, but we plan on just having some cuddly time and watching a nice movie, having a few drinks, then I'll hit the road and go home, leaving her to have some alone time as she catches up on some well needed sleep.

    I thought about buying the item depending upon her reaction. I figured when it's quiet, just us, I'd bring up the personal question and ask her what she'd think about having a little bedtime toy. If she yelled OMGWTF EWWWWW NO WAY! Then I'd probably bury it and let it alone. If she said yes, of course I'd look into getting her one, but even if she said no, if she was just kind of "meh nah not really" I'd still get one. The difference is, if she rejected it but in a nice/confused/unsure manner, I'd just keep it in my possession. Then one night I think she'll be happy when her boyfriend deliberately did the opposite thing she asked.

    But like I said, just looking for some ideas. I don't even know why I'm so skitzy to ask her either... Been together with her for over 4 years, and I've seen that girl sitting on the pot puking her guts out to showing me first hand how a tampon works, yet here I am unsure of her reaction with a little rubber shlong. :( :D
     
  3. pirouette

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    Personally, I have a lot of toys. I don't think I got any until we were together for at least 4 or 5 years. If it was me, I'd like it in a shiny new box with pretty wrapping paper, and a card saying something nice. Perhaps mentioning the upside of low risk play with it would be nice!
     
  4. Jayce

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    Yeah, absolutely. If I do end up getting it, I'll definitely dress it up a little bit and wrap it up for her, that way she could have a little excitement opening it. I'm just not sure if she'll bite on it though. But one side of me is just saying get it anyway (but still talk to her about it first) and next time the heat is on, bring it out, and I'm sure I'll gain 10 points right there on the spot.

    Unfortunately, that's the kind of person my girlfriend is. She hates planning ahead. And to her, me buying her a toy would definitely be planning ahead. So one side of me thinks she won't like this idea... but then again, she was the EXACT same way with keeping condoms handy, but after a few weeks she ended up keeping a motherload handy.

    But yeah. The low risk factor in this is definitely a turn on. Plus, just the thought of using a toy on her is getting me going as I type this. :brow
     
  5. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I dunno, Jayce. From other posts you have made concerning your relationship, i am not so sure she would look at that type of gift as something for her. She may look at it as another suggestion for sexual favor.

    I vote for keeping it handy, and when things are real hot and heavy, and you are talking about toys, bring that big booger out and play! And I also vote for a small, less-conspicuous vibrator. Placing something on her will probably be more accepted (for the first time) than placing something in her.
    as usual, jmho :)
    :rose
     
  6. Jayce

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    Yeah. We had a talk the other day and I think everything is cleared up now. We had an amazing day together and I think all of the bullshit is finally put behind us. I spent the night with her and in the morning before I knew it she was goin down! :brow :brow :brow :brow

    I just think that if I talk to her about it and be really sincere, that she'll take it the exact same way I'm intending to give it. But if I actually get the toy, then magically show her sometime, then I think she'll be like uh... what? The thing that's driving me to ask her about this the most is... the other morning when we woke up together, she was actually disappointed that I didn't have a condom. Halfway through she asked me and sounded upset. As I said, she's not on BC, and we made an agreement no sex unless BC + Condom, and even then I'd probably still be paranoid of a mistake happening. But if she sees the benefits of using a toy that gives you the same effect as a real penis yet doesn't produce sperm, maybe she'll see where I'm coming from and be more open about it than I think? Oh well... I plan to give it a try anyway. I thought about just going to a sex store, getting one, and wrapping it and bringing it over tonight. But I'm not sure if she'd think highly of that. I think she'd understand more if I asked her before doing anything... Just not sure how to open it. I figured about somehow getting on the topic of sex, then asking what she'd think of a little bedroom toy. Meh?

    By the way, she plans on drinking a considerable amount tonight. Is asking a drunk woman if she'd like her first vibrator a bad idea? :p Sorry, had to ask!
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    You know the situation better than anyone - that' s for sure!

    But, Jayce! - I am surprised that you didn't have a condom handy. You should ALWAYS have one with you. Regardless of your 'agreement', you need to be prepared. Especially since it is obvious that sometimes she gets particularly turned on and wants to do it. Sometimes, sex can't be planned out. That's why you should be a good boy scout and "Be Prepared"! :p
     
  8. Joe

    Joe
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    Just buy the thing and surprise her with it, kinda like you would a gag gift. Don't make a big deal of it, and DON'T get one of those big penis-looking dildos. Just get a small vibrator for her clit. They make some that look like a tube of lipstick. I'd start small, and if she likes it at all you can try something bigger and more powerful later.
     
  9. Jayce

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    Nah. I made an agreement to myself that I refuse to rely on JUST condoms. Now if she were on birth control, then yes I would of more than likely had a condom handy. It wasn't a matter of me not being prepared, it was a matter of me purposely not having any because I simply didn't want to have intercourse UNLESS she had birth control too.

    So, just understand it wasn't poor planning, I did it intentionally because until we have double coverage, I don't want to have intercourse.
     
  10. Jayce

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    Eh, I had some free time today at work so I started thinking a bit about what I was going to say. I'm just going to remind her that the last few times her and I were intimate with one another, at some point the big question was asked "Do you have a condom?" So I want to make it apparent to her that even though in our non-horny state we may agree no intercourse, when we cross the border into the horny state, things can change whether we like it or not. That's why I'd like to have a "subsitute," so all of the risks are eliminated, allowing us to have more fun since the paranoia will be gone.

    Now, if she isn't too sure about it, hesitant, or says you know I'd rather not, I'll end up ordering it anyway. Then someday when she's at my house and things get heated up, I'll be sure to blindfold her and have her lay down. Then I'll move into position as if it's me, then turn the vibration on and watch her lose it. :brow I know at that point she won't resist!!

    And as far as your suggestion for a clit vibrator, that's a good idea, but she is definitely a fan of penetration more than ANYTHING else, so I'm just going to get a swirled silicone vibrator.

    EDIT - Completely changed my mind. In fact, I'm not going to say anything to her. I'll just get a little clit vibrator and next time we get into it it'll just "happen" to be in my pocket. Then if she likes it, I'll upgrade. Thanks for the persuaion, Joe.
     
  11. Jayce

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    Well, I hit a road block. I don't know WHY I didn't think of it but on my favorite radio station they continuously play this commercial for an adult store. I ended up going up there and taking a look around to see what was available.

    Well, no lie, I spent about a full hour just gazing at all of the vibrators, unsure of what to get. I ended up more confused after I went in than I was before I went in. I got nothing, but I didn't say anything to my girlfriend anyway about any toys. She was having a bad day from work so I just kept my mouth shut. I'm on the fence, though. Hear me out...

    I don't know what to get first!! I keep looking at these little mini massagers, and they look like they may be fun but I'm just not sure. Something that small, meh. I'd just hate to get it and have her be like "uh, yeah, go in" when it's in as far as it can go. I'm just not sure if she's the clit stimulator type, however they're so small that I can just keep one in my pocket, and then introduce it to her next time we play hanky-panky. It's unlikely that I'll be walking around with a fricken 5.5 inch vibrator in my pocket "just in case" we end up doing something where I can literally whip it out and try it out on her.

    The other thing I wasn't sure of is the waterproof aspect some of them have. Now, you have to wash them off when you're done, but how durable are they to water when washing them off? Like, is a light spongebath all they can handle, or can they be rinsed in the sink just fine?

    Another thing is texture... I had some gel ones in my hands and thought she'd like that, but some of the gel ones I looked at weren't waterproof, while these completely smooth hard plastic ones WERE waterproof, yet they were just smooth and had 0 bumps. I thought the gel feeling + the bumps would be the best bet...

    What do you gals think?

    How's hard smooth plastic? What about gel? What about gel with bumps?

    Oh, and a female with experience please chime in here... how good are those little micro bullet things (the real tiny massagers)?? I was about to buy one but like I said, the thing is just so small, and my gf is more of a penetration girl... I'm not sure if she'd be entirely happy with it. Then again, because of how small they are, I can just keep one in my pocket... then when we start getting dirty again, I can just whip it out and use it and see what she thinks............... meh.
     
  12. pussycat69

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    Well,if she's into penetration,then you probably DON'T want to get her just a clit stimulator.:shrug
    But you'd know best.
     
  13. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    My lady have several of these toys. SO far, she likes silicone version the best. They have these veins and bumps. It is better than smooth ones. If it has vibration faction, it is even better. Matter of cleaning them, just be sure to remove the batteries out and close with the battery "cover." Then you can do the cleaning. Be sure to dry it really good. With care, the toy will last much longer. If it is just silicone cock, then you can wash it by hand or drop it in the dishwasher. No problem at all. Of course, get it out before anyone, beside you or your girlfreind, open it. Try that first. If she is so into these toys, buy the rabbit version next. Its dual purpose, for clit and peneration, is a lot better than just peneration.
     
  14. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Also, you could keep a couple different versions at your home, for when the action ends up there. You don't have to have it in your pocket, but if it seems things are heating up, make sure they are handy, so as not to lose the 'moment', while you are fishing them out of some remote drawer. ;) - You can even buy ONE pack, that has several types of toys in it.
    a word to the wise... if you are new at using a clit vibrator on her, make sure you don't press too hard while 'massaging'. a light, gentle touch along the clit (in my opinion) is far more sexually exciting that a hard, rough rub.
    Good luck!
     
  15. Jayce

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    Yeah... but here's the mind set I'm in. Since she hasn't experienced any toys before, and I haven't asked her yet, if I'm buying any before talking to her I decided to just buy one. If she knows I bought more than one, I just think if I'd be in her position I'd be like "uh, what the hell?" That's just me though...

    I'm not too sure what I'm doing, so I think I'll just go with the flow. I'll wait a few more days to see if her and I end up getting into a heated conversation on the topic, then bring it up. I'm just having mixed feelings about what to do. It's been so long since her and I have "gotten into it" at my house that I just can't see keeping it at my house for the right moment being smart. The right moment would come and go 400 times in other places than my bedroom (I have two little brothers who like to barge in, normally rendering my room a not so good choice). That's why I was trying to find one that would fit unnoticably in my pocket, yet do the job. When I limit my search to waterproof, jelly outside, and lumps on it, I'm limited to only a few choices.

    Still not sure if I should talk to her about it or wait for the right time to whip it out.
     
  16. pirouette

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    I think Rose is talking about the "romance" packs of toys. They aren't big. Just a few different types and styles to allow you to find out what feels good to you (or your gf, in this instance). They are usually produced in matching sets with the same color and finish! How pretty? I have a great set that came in a little velvet carrying case. They aren't enormous packs with dozens of didlos or anything.
    As far as limited selection (waterproof, jelly, lumps), that just isn't the case. I'm not sure what the porn shops are like where you come from. The adult toy stores here carry a staggering amount of dildos and vibrators! :whoa If you can imagine it, they probably have it.
     
  17. Jayce

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    Well, my area has absolutey no adult stores whatsoever. But like I said, I remember hearing it on the radio. The thing was, I guess all this time I just thought it was a video store, because the name has "video" in it. But I remembered a female voice saying "We have the latest toys for couples, singles, bachelors, and bachelorettes." So I thought, BINGO!!

    I mean, to make an estimate, there were probably... 60 vibrators to choose from? It's just maybe 12 were waterproof, and of those 12 about 3 were made of some kind of jelly that also had lumps. Then I was trying to take the size factor in and I just got confused and ended up leaving empty handed.

    When I was in the store I started to think it'd be better to ask my girlfriend. Because if she agrees with it, and I just happen to come over with a nice sized vibrator, it's not going to be anything ackward because of me talking to her before hand. Now if I don't talk to her before hand, and I come over with a 6 inch dong, she's gonna ask me what in the hell it is. That's why for a while I was leaning to a little one, so I can just easily pop it in my pocket and bring it out for a little surprise. But, meh.

    The more I think about it, the farther back to square one I go. I'll just have to talk to her about it, and we'll go from there. To be honest, I think a big reason that I'm dwelling on it so much is because I WANT to introduce her to a vibrator so much and for some reason I'm just afraid she'll say no. But also, it's not just because of my personal desires, because I think that'd just be fucking hot to see her quivering over it, but as I said... it's just such a better alternative as opposed to intercourse, especially in our case where she's not on birth control and whenever we have fun, the big question comes up - "Where are the condoms?"

    Note - She was planning on getting on birth control, but in a month or so she's going to have some very light surgery, but she wanted to wait until after that was over completely to go on birth control. Just in case any folks were wondering what was stopping her.
     
  18. pirouette

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    Guess I must be lucky. I've personally visited 6 of my area's local adult toy/video stores. 2 of them are ridiculously huge. I've seen thousands of toys. Personally, I must own at least 20 dildos and vibrators. I have a couple jelly dildos, but my favorite texture would have to be cyberskin. I don't prefer bumps, lumps or pearls.
    Jayce, I can tell this is something you're really turned on by. Who wouldn't be? I don't think you're dwelling on it persay....more perusing thoughts on the topic. If you can't dwell on sex in this forum, where can you?:)
     
  19. Jayce

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    About the adult store, I assume since this has the name "video" in it, that that is the main agenda on the store is to sell movies. The toys and novelties are just kind of extra... kind of like selling candy at the checkouts of a clothing store.

    But yeah. I guess I'm just so worked up on her getting the wrong idea. But I don't know about you folks, but when you have nothing to worry about, it's 100x easier to have fun. If I'm sticking to hand jobs while she's still getting the full intercourse effect, yet there's no pregnancy danger (as long as we're not stupid), then it's just so much easier to have fun. I think we'd just enjoy ourselves that much more... but on the other hand, I think from her point of view if her boyfriend just asks about getting her a vibrator, I'm not so sure if she'll completely understand where I'm coming from.

    But, this is definitely a talk that has to wait until the right time.

    EDIT - The ideas keep rolling in. I told my buddy I just went to a sex store for the first time and he ended up telling me some more information than I had planned to ask him. He said that he got his gf one when he was out of state and came across an adult store. He said he just wrapped it up and gave it to her. She did nothing more than smile, got it out, and started using it right there. He said she had ZERO experience with any toys prior to that.

    Then, it got me thinking a bit. I know damn well if I'd get her a toy and she accepted it, I'd end up using it on her at some point. So, why even bother talking about that if I got her a toy? Why would I have to explain myself saying: Okay this is a tool that you and I are going to use to avoid intercourse and the risk of pregnancy. The more I think about it, the stupider I think I was acting. The thing is, I think she'd think more highly of it if I give it to her telling her it's "for HER" as opposed to "for US." If I told her it's for us to use to avoid intercourse (and its risks), she'd think I'm just planning ahead for the next time we get down and dirty, and she hates planning ahead.

    I'll just go the route that he took when he got his gf a toy. I'll just buy one, wrap it up, and just tell her I got her a little gag gift. I think she'd be more accepting to it if I told her that if she didn't like it, she was more than welcome to throw it out and I wouldn't be offended. If I told her that, I think she'd be like "Aww, well okay. We'll see what happens." Or something like that. Maybe I should follow this gag gift with a pair of diamond earrings or something? I've been planning on getting her some new jewelry for a while, since I haven't been able to get her anything due to buying a new car and funds being low. Maybe I'll do that, then get her the toy... if I just got her the toy, I know in her mind she'd be thinking..... "hmmm only gift in a long time, and it's a vibrator. Interesting."

    Now the key is finding the right time to give it to her.
     
    #19 Jayce, Jun 23, 2006
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2006
  20. bluenavigator

    bluenavigator New Member

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    All of these talkings got me thinking about the first time I gave vibrator to my lady. Sure enough, I forgot how I gave it to her. I guess that I just picked one off the shelf at the sex shop as I had specs in my mind. Smooth and just slight bigger than my cock's size. How did I bring it up to her.... sheesh! I forgot! Gotta ask my lady how we got it in play. She never had one in previous relationship. I did but my ex-girlfriend didn't like it and prefered the real thing. Oh well... every lady has her own opinions on sex toys, no matter how cool the toys are.

    Maybe get one of these didlos that you can slide your dick into. It serves double uses - protection and bigger cock. Make it a big surprise. What I mean is that when you and your girlfriend are heated up and ready to do the action. Of course, say something about getting condom. Get that didlo and put it on. Sure enough, it will feel different. Sure, she might think that you planned ahead but it is same thing with condoms. If you buy condoms, you are planning ahead anyway.
     
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