The subject of why we come here and talk might be an interesting one with various answers... Some probably come here to peep, some to hook up, some to show themselves off (some of whom perhaps get more attention for it than they wanted), some for self exploration. I guess I'd fall into the category of self exploration.. I find that I usually either ask questions where I'm looking for more info about a particular topic, or else I'm commenting on someone else's situation to which I relate. My wife reads what I post here and I don't mind, and I would hope she gets an occasional glimpse into who I feel and think. It's not like we don't talk, but the topic of sex is one which feels like it is surrounded by a minefield. When she's not in the mood, it starts out as a hostile discussion and either ends or gets worth. When she's in the mood, she doesn't want to talk, she wants to do. What frustrates me lately is that I've gradually been feeling like I come last in her life. Bringing up these feelings is a subject that requires a heated discussion that cools down over the course of an hour because she reacts defensively rather than listenning to my feelings. She's a hotheaded redhead, I've only known her but by reputation that's the way they are it seems. But take this weekend for example... As far as working on the house it's worked great, I've already completed my goals for the weekend and I didn't think it'd be a sure thing I'd get through them before getting back to my job Monday. Thursday was Thanksgiving of course, and we planned to have a sex session although our plans turned out less elaborate than expected... Friday she had to work so I watched the kids, today she had a practice exam for this class she's taking related to work, tommorrow we're seeing the Nutcracker ballet. It's a full weekend and almost every day I have watched the kids so she can have time to do something, and I've done grocery shopping... Today she'd said we could try out the new platform shoes. At the end of today, though, she acted tired and asked to wait until tomorrow. Then we proceded to watch our movie from Netflix, and she proceded to not fall asleep because she wasn't tired. So to me it comes across as she lied about being tired because she didn't want to do what she said we'd do. Not the first time, but this is what makes it hard for me to perform. I want her to want me. I want her to want me so bad that instead of putting it off until tomorrow every day, she'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. And it'd be nice if she could let me know that she wants it that bad. Anyway, I am not looking for advice in particular, I'm sure we'll get it worked out because we just go through these things and it gets better. I wouldn't mind hearing about similar experiences or things other folks get frustrated about communicating with their significant others.