the REAL "first" time

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Tech, Mar 13, 2006.

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  1. Tech

    Tech Member

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    Hi. hope all is well.

    I have met someone who is really great. Seem to feel things in the same way but her attracting much more into me - not in a sexual way if that make sense.


    She has been giving me hints and what not that she wants to make love, thats ok - im glad she does (no no, not sex, love... probably means the same thing to most of you folks!). I've never had that from someone before.

    I am worried though, naturally I guess. She thinks im cute/sexy to which I don't - she has only seen everything from shoulders up - in other words shes not seen my front!

    I believe I am unattractive and think that when we do get to that stage, that she will be put off or perhaps go along with it and then stop everything, to which I do not.

    What should I do? I have told her that in general I am not the person who goes round sleeping with endless women, i dont do that its not my nature and I have only ever had sex once, not so long ago.

    She is great I believe (wonder how long this will last for before I know its someone taking me for a ride again *rolls eyes*) and naturally would do anything to please her, but doesnt take much as she is really into me I think and so she say's - its nice to hear that.

    I just dont want the whole thing to flop just because of my physical unattractiveness.

    yes I have put on some weight (not much i believe but can see my tummy coming out) from a couple of years ago when I was away for a year but thats a different story.

    Anyway, I would like your advice on what I should do?

    I know when im ready to make love wether it being 1 month into a relationship or 3 years - just dont want to disappoint anyone.

    She is attractive, does karate, but when comparing to me - i still think "what does she see in me". I dont know if she is just wanting to do it and throw it away or if she really still wants to be together.

    I appreciate your advice :) Sorry for an embarrasing, yet again, post
     
  2. Kisses

    Kisses New Member

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    How long have you known her? You say you know when you're ready to make love, but to me it seems as though you are not quite ready yet. You seem to be insecure about your looks, why? If she didn't think you were attractive to her I don't think she would be dropping hints. *Not all women want the hottest, best looking men*

    Another thing, if you have even the slightest inkling that she is taking you for a ride, I wouldn't do it. I am one of those people that it has to mean something. I would want to trust them, but that is just me.

    Good luck, I hope I helped a little bit.
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars"

    Many women enter a short, non-committal relationship with 'his looks' being a main focus. However, when looking for something deeper and more meaningful, a woman tends to look for the qualities that don't change with age or diet. Men have trouble seeing their own internal persona....because they are 'from mars' ... LOL She seems to have found IN YOU a man of character and a man with whom she would enjoy becoming totally vulnerable. Trust and sincerity are just as sexy to most women as a tight ass and flat abs.
    I would encourage you to believe in yourself more. A man's Confidence (without 'cockiness' ) is quite an aphrodisiac.
    Make a list of all your GOOD qualities (whether they are physical or deeper), and read that list every day, or several times a day. You may even find yourself adding to the list from time to time. Once YOU feel it is time, go for it. But do it because YOU want to.
     
  4. Tech

    Tech Member

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    :) thank-you
     
  5. FlaminFrancesca

    FlaminFrancesca New Member

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    Wow Rose, that was an awesome response! Very true!
     
  6. Tech

    Tech Member

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    the other point to add is that where I am based, not alot of women believe in the whole "deep in the guy" stuff - and really after a fling or whatever. I am a bit worried but i guess if i get hurt again - same old story
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
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    If the woman is so shallow as to be turned off by your "front", I'd want to know asap so I could run the other way!

    I'm overweight, balding, vertically challenged, and have scars all over my face. I'm no Brad Pitt! Luckily for me and others like me, most women are more attracted by your personality, smile, the twinkle in your eye, your laugh, touch, kiss, or the way you take an interest in them and treat them. They'll look past your faults and only see what attracts them to you.

    Just last week I met a young man who works with my wife. He looked at me, then looked at her, then said with a puzzled look, "... uhhhh... are... you...?"

    "I'm the hubby," I said.

    "Wow!" he said in astonishment. "I'd have never guessed you two were together!"

    My wife is a looker, ten years younger than me but could pass for 20 years younger. It's hard for us guys, who tend to judge a woman by her looks, to understand what attracts a beautiful woman to a seemingly unattractive guy, but that's because we're guys.

    Don't worry about your looks. If she's into you she'll think those extra pounds look good on ya. Relax and be yourself. She apparently likes what she sees in you.
     
  8. Tech

    Tech Member

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    hopefully! she never gave me much time today being busy and all... but anyway yeh, fingers crossed :)

    thanks a bunch! if it drains down the toliet - send me some women
     
  9. Tech

    Tech Member

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    well guess what? yup she pretty much pushed me away already well pretty much ended it off. typical! (and no no, we werent about to you know)
     
  10. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Tech

    I need to express a few words to your good self after reading the threads!

    As PunkKitty said, Rose made a brilliant response!

    Have a look at some of the other topics in this forum, about what women really find attactive in men.

    One of the BIG ones is "Confidence"

    And that doesn't mean cockiness.

    Being a bloke, I would say that confidence is the biggest pulling point a man can have.

    Forgive me for being blunt, but your original post says everything and explains why things are not happening.

    I totally respect your honesty for sharing everything with us.

    But honestly, whilst currently you believe that you are not attractive, you are going to send out signals to any potential partner that you ain't worth going for. It's like wearing a badge saying, "Mr Honest Guy Here, but I'm crap!"

    Tech, you absolutely must step back, and sit down and list (as I think Rose said), everything about you that is great. Do it and do it now!

    Then remember it.
    Then forget the negatives!

    Believe in yourself!

    Once you do that, you will find that women warm to you big time!
     
  11. Tech

    Tech Member

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    thanks brad
    yes I agree, unfortunatly its just one of those things i dont have - confidence. its a life long thing - lets not get into it. but yes, i agree and im sorry! :)

    just hate the way people are these days - full of themselves - i just dont want to put myself into that catagory.

    :)
     
  12. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Being confident is a far cry from being "full of yourself".
    I think the latter would be considered "cockiness".

    Only YOU can break the cycle, even if it is a 'life long thing'. You are at the age right now that you can choose to either be your own man, or be what people have told you that you are. it's up to you, hun. If you're concerned about a little bulging tummy, take steps to better yourself in that area. You are your own captain. You can take life and run with it, or run from it.

    But trust me - there are plenty of girls who are waiting for someone just like you. jmho
     
  13. Brad

    Brad New Member

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    Tech

    I don't know Rose, but she talks such a lot of good sense!

    Just one question for you mate from your last post, Why did you say, "I'm sorry?"



    You seem a genuine and honest bloke. Many women would give their right arm for that in a relationship.

    On a positive note you have shared your mind on this forum.

    Hopefully you will have seen from the genuine responses that key to moving yourself forward is developing self belief in yourself.

    I would like to set you a friendly and well meant challenge on this forum:

    (1) Step back and think hard.

    (2) Let us know of just Three Positive things you can do that will make you feel better about yourself.

    Tell us what they are.

    I look forward to seeing your response.

    And please no negatives, just tell us about the positives.
    You will feel a lot better if you rise to this challenge.

    Trust me because at your age I had the same experience!
     
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