The "Perfect" Stranger: Your Spouse

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Bluesy, Sep 25, 2007.

  1. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    The "Perfect" Stranger: Your Spouse

    by Amanda MacMillan (from Prevention magazine, September 2007)

    If you want to rekindle your passion before dinner, treat your spouse as if you just met, suggests a University of British Columbia study. When researches asked 31 couples to chat up either their romantic partner or someone they just met, both sexes made more of an effort to be pleasant and likeable to the strangers. Couples were also asked to talk as if they'd never met, and their sense of well-being rose significantly. "We often take familiar people for granted and act blase or bored with them," says study author Elizabeth Dunn, PhD. "But because we want new people to like us, we tend to put our best face forward--and by acting cheery we naturally end up feeling good."
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    I believe printing that paragraph and taping it to one's bathroom mirror would be a good thing for any marriage/relationship. It's true, once our 'prey' has been conquered (referring to BOTH genders!) we get lax and lazy in our kindnesses and courtesies that we continue to extend to 'strangers'.

    Seems like, psychologically, we get it backwards :ugh Shouldn't we give the best to our life-long partners, and give the emotional left-overs to those that only 'flitter' through our lives for a short while?

    Before Thorn comes in & makes his comments, let me clarify....Not that I have mastered this concept, or even come close! But it's something of which to be reminded often! Thanks, Bluesy-girl!
     
  3. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,846
    Likes Received:
    5,858
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    Yeah, thanks Bluesy, made me think... There are times when I'm an asshole around my partner, when really I should be saving my best for her... I feel kinda bad :(

    I guess it's a bunch of roses for her tomorrow :eek:
     
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    6,823
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Dixie Land
    :whoa You're giving me to your wife?? :whoa
     
  5. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2007
    Messages:
    907
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    MD
    Ok...

    ...this is very thought provoking and I'm working on it, forming my thoughts from the perspective of being a three time loser at long term relationships.
     
  6. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    And not just one, either. She's getting a bunch of you!!
     
  7. Bluesy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2006
    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Awwww, I'm so glad your inner romantic was spurned into action by this article! The thought of someone's gf having a luvey-dovey moment as a result of something I've done is like...I feel like I did a good deed :D

    To frame it another way, you've got three times the relationship experience to learn from ;) You seem like a highly intelligent, willing pupil...I have a feeling that no. 4 will be The One!
     
  8. cook74

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2007
    Messages:
    3,846
    Likes Received:
    5,858
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sydney, Australia
    She loved the flowers by the way Bluesy (I got her tulips instead of roses as they are her favorite.)

    Unfortunately it wasn't the romantic night I had planned as she was feeling under the weather, but it was worth it just to see her smile :)

    I haven't bought her flowers since Valentine's Day so she was pleasantly SHOCKED :whoa