the most dirtiest/funniest joke

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mrcock, Oct 26, 2012.

  1. mrcock

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    post your most dirtiest/funniest jokes

    I don't find the next joke super original, but just not to lose the time in the future

    what's the difference between jam and jelly?
    you can't jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass

    :lol
     
    #1 mrcock, Oct 26, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2012
  2. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    A hippie was on a quest to have sex with every woman he could, he saw a nun on the bus and thought it would be a good challenge. He propositioned her and she slapped him, but the bus driver saw the whole thing. The bus driver told the hippie that every night the nun goes to the church and tells god she will do anything to see him. So the hippie puts a sheet over his head, appears before the nun pretending to be angel and asks for sex, telling her she will see god if she does. The nun agrees, but requests that it be anal to preserve her virginity. The hippie fucks her, then throws off the sheet and says "haha, I'm the hippie." The nun then throws off her cloak and says "haha, I'm the bus driver"
     
  3. mrcock

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    that joke is amazing

    :lol
     
  4. mrcock

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    a junkie finally found himself a job, which was as easy as to nail a picture to the wall. one day a nail fell off his hand to the ground. so he instead of simply picking it up, stretched his arm towards the nail and said: "come to me for I say so". of course, nothing happened then. after a few more attempts of making the nail move back into his hand the junkie lost all the hope for that. so he puts his hand into a pocket, gets more nails in his hand, throws them next to the nail and says frustratingly: "just bring him back"

    :lol
     
  5. mrcock

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    one girl had a serious problem, the smell from her mouth was so disgusting that no one could ever even compare it with anything. so one day a pharmaceutical company released a new mouthwash for the people with a mouth smell being worse then the others. so she tried it and then went to a club. in the club she was just dancing without speaking to no one. one guy just saw her, liked her, then he decided to meet with her. so he approached her and gently asked:

    guy: hey candy, what's your name?
    girl: jenny
    guy: did you just fucking farted?
    girl: no
    guy: did you just fucking farted again?
    girl: no..........

    :lol
     
  6. Maverick

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    When do you know a woman is to old to fuck??
    Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich.

    Why don't men like having oral sex the morning after they creampied their ldy?
    You ever try pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich with extra mayo?

    What is one great thing about being gay?? (This is my original joke too)
    You can always tell what your partner had for dinner.
     
  7. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    <racist joke>
    A young black boy put flour on his face and goes to his mother and says "look mommy, I'm a white boy." The proud black woman slapped her son and demanded she go tell his father what he just said. The boy obliges and the father hits him too, then asks what the boy has learned from this. The boy said "well, I've only been a white boy for five minutes and I already don't like you n*****s."
     
  8. Hot Wheels

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    A young Indian boy went to his father and asked....
    Father....how did I get my name?.....
    His father replied.....on the day you were born, I came out of the teepee and the first thing I saw was a bear running through the woods....
    And so I called you Running Bear.....
    The chief's daughter then asked her father.....how did I get my name?.....
    The chief said that on the day you were born, I came out of the teepee, looked to the sky and saw a big white cloud.....
    And so I called you White Cloud....
    The youngest son then asked his father....how did I get my name?
    The chief looked down at him and said......
    Why do you ask Two Dogs Fucking??
     
  9. Texas_Red

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    I have 2.
    Ever wondered what the bumps around a woman's nipples were?

    It's braille for "Lick here."

    -and-

    What do pussy and cigarettes have in common?













    The closer you get to the butt, the stronger the taste.

    :D
     
  10. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

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    Lol and Ewww! :]
     
  11. Clintriprock

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    Man took his wife to the doctor because she was having issues.

    The woman goes in for her exam.

    The doctor takes the man into his office and says his wifes condition could either be AIDS or Alzheimer's.

    The man asks how he will able to tell which one it is.

    The Doctor sez "Drop her off 2 blocks from home. If she find her way home dont fuck her.
     
  12. sabian

    sabian New Member

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    Ever wonder why your poop is tapered at one end.....

    so your butt dont slam shut......
     
  13. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

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    Someone just sent this to me.

    I dont know why strippers get mad when I tip with Monopoly money.
    I mean, are those tits real? I don't think so...
     
  14. Clintriprock

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    Little boy and girl were bragging about the thinks they have then the started running out of things
    Little Boy: Well MY daddy has a penis

    Little girl: Well MY daddy has TWO penises.

    Little Boy: Uh UHHHHHH. NOBODY has two penises.

    Little Girl: U HUHHHHHHH he has one he goes pee pee out of and one Mommy brushes her teeth with
     
  15. surreal_thoughts

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    That's a good one :lol
     
  16. mrcock

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    a school teacher phones a dad regarding the behavior of his son

    teacher: mister jackson, your son's behavior is one of the worst a first grader can ever have. at least I have witnessed something like that just a few times through out my 20 year old teacher practice

    dad: bitch say what? I'ma ice that motherfucker

    in a week the same teacher phones the same dad

    teacher: mister jackson, your son haven't visited the school for a week now, that is just disgusting

    dad: bitch what the fuck? I iced that motherfucker

    :lol
     
  17. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    What does an old women have between her breast that a young woman doesn't?

    A navel

    A guy took a blonde on a date.
    They eventually ended up at lovers lane making out.
    After things started getting hot and heavy, he thought he might get lucky. So he asked "Do you want to get in the back seat?"
    "No" she answers.
    Okay. He thought, maybe she might not be ready yet.
    Now he has her shirt and skirt off, she windows are steamed and things are getting really hot so he ask "Do you want to get in the back seat?"
    "No" she answers again.
    Now he has her bra off, both are sweaty, and she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she HAS to want it now.
    "Do you want to get in the back seat?" He ask again.
    "No!" She answers yet again.
    Frustrated, he demands "We'll, why not?"
    "Because I want to stay up here with you."
     
  18. mrcock

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    :lol
     
  19. mrcock

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    boy: you do drugs, danny?
    another boy: everyday
    boy: good.......

    :lol
     
  20. mrcock

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    two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope

    the judge says, "you seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance instead of jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I'll see you back in court monday"

    on monday, the judge asks the first guy, "how did you do over the weekend?"

    "well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever"

    "seventeen people? that's wonderful. how did you do it?"

    "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this: O o. then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs"

    "that's admirable," says the judge. then he turns to the second guy. "and how did you do?"

    "well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever"

    "wow" says the judge. "156 people. how did you manage to do that?"

    "well, I used a similar diagram," the guy says. "I drew two circles like this: o O. then I pointed to the little circle and said, 'this is your asshole before prison.........'"

    :lol