The MAN Rules.....

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Hot Wheels, Jan 30, 2009.

  1. Hot Wheels

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    The Man Rules*******************
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear ' the rules'
    From the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
    ON PURPOSE!


    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl.
    If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday + GOOD WEATHER = Sports
    It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No
    are perfectly acceptable answers
    to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said
    can be interpreted two ways
    and one of the ways
    makes you sad or angry,
    we meant the other one ok....

    1. You can either ask us to do something......
    Or, tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it......,
    just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible,
    Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions
    and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
    like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.

    Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
    We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying,
    but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
    Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about
    unless you are prepared to discuss such topics
    as CARS OR BOOBS

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.
    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

    But did you know......men really don't mind that?
    It's like camping.

    Pass this to as many men as you can -
    to give them a laugh.

    Pass this to as many women as you can -

    to give them a bigger laugh.......
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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  3. Barbwire

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    Haha! That was a hoot. Thanks for posting it Hottie and Johnny.
     
  4. HardRocker

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    :lolThanks Wheelie, that was so necessary.
     
  5. Hot Wheels

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    I guess it was worth posting again:uhh:......didn't even think about doing a search on it......
    Sorry Puss.....:eek: