Hello all, A while ago, I posted to ask your opinion about my "friend with benefits," who wouldn't wear a condom without a big fuss, and who tries to push his penis in without a condom immediately after I told him it's not okay. This time, I am writing in to ask for helps. I tried to talk to him about this issue a few times, as unaccusingly and calmly as humanly possible, considering the fact that I was really shocked and angered by his attempts. Every time, he just laughs and say something to the extend that "it doesn't matter if you remember right?" It's like he is making it sound like he didn't intentionally try to sneak his dick in, he just "forgets!" None the less, I got him trained, he hasn't try any more of those clever tricks on me again. But I am still have issues on similar issue. The other night, I was really tired and already in bed when he was masturbating to some internet porns in front of the computer. I usually don't mind porn and don't mind if he pleases himself in front of me; his rights to swing his fist ends only at where my nose begins. But then he came into the bedroom and straddled me, I told him I was really tired, so then he said "then I will ejaculate over you, are you scared?" He had expressed curiosity about trying this before, and a few times, I had explicitly consented for him to do so, I told him I wouldn't mind. But this night, I was really tired and didn't feel like pulling myself out of bed for a shower and then try to fall asleep again. So I made some pathetic excuse and told him that "yeah I'm scared, I won't have any clothes to wear tomorrow." So he told me to just take off my shirt. Too tired to argue and negotiate with him, I complied but explicitly told him not to get any on my face. I thought I will just have a quick wash when he is done and go back to sleep... But then the jerk ejaculated all over my face, into my eyes, onto my hair, made a big mess, and then started giggling and said, "eww, so soo soooo grosss. Will you go blind now that it got into your eyes?" I privately agreed. It felt really gross to me too. But I am not sure if he was saying his gunk was gross or I looked gross to him. Either way I was quite angry at his insensitivity -- I told him I was tired and didn't want to play, he didn't care, and insisted to USE my body. I consented for him to go on but only with the condition that he won't get any on my face, and he crosss that line deliberately. Sort of like how I told him I won't sleep with him without a condom, then he kept trying to sneak his penis in without my consent, and then LAUGH about it. I dragged my exhausted body into the shower; I rubbed soap into my eyes to try to wash out the intense feeling of dirtyness in me; I also had to wash my very long hair and then dry them again before I can go back to bed. I was so angry at him, it was all I could do to keep silence and not face with him, I really hated to cry in front of boys. And if he eggs me on, I don't think I could hold it much longer. He finally seemed to notice that I was upset and wasn't finding his jokes funny. I lied down with my back to him, trying as best as I could to calm myself down. He tried to roll me over to face him, I fought with him, and fought my feelings at the same time -- the intense feeling of humiliation and resentments! This guy doesn't care what choices I made, he only cares about getting the pleasures he seeks! I really didn't want to cry, but I couldn't help it. So I curled up into a ball and tried to sob as quietly as possible. But he kept trying to turn me around. The more I fought his grip and tried to hide my tears from him, the harder I cried, to the point where I was trembling, shaking in white rage. I just kept telling myself, "don't do anything rash, just don't say anything now, you WILL regret it later." The boy, in the mean time, tried to cuddle me while I wept on, but finally, he gave up and just went on to find his own sweet dreams. But I couldn't sleep that night. I was so tired, but at the same time, so sad, so angry, so hurt. The boy in question lives in a small village on a remote island, I would have left that night, but I had to wait for the first ferry in the morning. By the time morning comes, I already sneaked out of his bed room and packed all my stuff and got ready to leave, but he woke too, and asked me "what's the matter with you? Why aren't you in bed? you hardly got any sleep last night, come back!" I was still shaking a little, not sure from the rage or humiliation. I only know that if I talk to him now, I will just scream abuses at him. I will just do something to make a bad situation worse. So I held my tongue. After a long silence, he finally asked, "do you want to stop 'playing' like we did?" I nodded. Funny how this insensitive boy seems to suddenly become too sensitive to say the word "sex." "okay, I won't bother you again, but just come back and lie down with me, just this one last time, let me cuddle you. I won't bother you again, promise." Thinking this is still a better solution than having me run away without saying anything and possibly never talking to him again, I agreed. We slept side by side, but without touching each other. At the time, I seriously thought it was the best thing I could have hoped for. If I no longer have sex with him, we don't have to talk about what happened, right? Next day, we watched one of his very long and boring "Art films." It was so lengthy that we couldn't finish it the first day, so I had to stay the night again to finish the rest of the film. Then another film. Then another film. That's how we grazed over the whole thing. We never talked about it, he appears completely baffled and clueless at how I could be so upset over a bit of spilt seman; but he asks no more question. He made no more explicit sexual advances, though I think I can smell the expectations in the air. Having had multiple attempts at talking to him about wearing the rubber, every single time having the result of feeling not being taken seriously AND belittled, I really don't feel thrilled to enlighten him that it is not acceptable to squirt over my face when I clearly and explicitly did not consent. In fact, no matter how many time I go over the confession/confrontation in my mind, it still sounded a bit aggressive and out of control to me: [I thought about screaming at him that...] "You don't give a flying frog about what choices I have made, you don't care about how I feel, you don't care about what I say, whether I like it or NOT, you will just keep doing whatever pleases YOURSELF." It didn't sound right to me, so I gave him the cold shoulder for two weeks or so, now, he is away for a field trip, and he would be back by Friday. I am dog-sitting for him in his village house, all by myself right now. It was easy to fake busy and not visit him last two weeks while he was in town; but now that I am already in his house, it's really hard for me to just go home without making it looks like I hate him and I don't even want to be his friend. And to be honest, I don't know if that's entirely untrue. The question(s): Should I stay in his house until he comes back? Or could I run away before his ferry arrives on Friday? is it necessary for me to tell him why I am angry at him? Do I OWE him an explanation? And if so, HOW do you suppose I could do so without baring my fangs and look hysterica? If not, HOW do I get over the feeling that I am a coward and that I have let a man mistreat me and just crawled away with my tail between my legs, totally defeated?? And, as an after thought... seriously, what should I have done? Where did it all went so wrong??