The Differences Between Men And Women

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Apr 17, 2007.

  1. Bella

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    NICKNAMES:
    If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch,
    they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle.
    But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky,
    they will affectionately refer to each other as
    Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

    DINING OUT:
    And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will
    each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50.
    None of them will have anything smaller,
    and none will actually admit they want change back.
    When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

    BATHROOMS:
    A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream,
    razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
    A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    GROCERIES:
    A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the
    store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his
    fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping.
    He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the
    checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car
    on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to
    the 10-items-or-less lane.

    SHOES:
    When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit,
    then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag
    from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes.
    Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk.
    A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

    CATS:
    Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women
    aren't looking, men kick cats.

    DRESSING UP:
    A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
    answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.
    A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

    LAUNDRY:
    Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article
    of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight
    years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes,
    he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain
    of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at
    the Laundromat.
    This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

    OFFSPRING:
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and
    favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely
    aware of some short people living in the house.

    Oh My! :eek
    ~Bella
     
  2. Martin_Baker

    Martin_Baker New Member

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    Hahahahaha :lol
    I love the one about offspring!
     
  3. Bella

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    Thanks Martin! :)
    ~Bella
     
  4. Sassy_Princess

    Sassy_Princess New Member

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    :lol Good one Bella! :D
     
  5. Bella

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    Thank you Sassy! :)
    ~Bella
     
  6. PitGtarMan

    PitGtarMan New Member

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    Oh I was expecting a joke. It is just observations of my house.
     
  7. Bella

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    :lol
    ~Bella