The Differences Between Men And Women

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Mar 25, 2007.

  1. Bella

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    Thought this was funny! :rofl
    ~Bella

    NICKNAMES:
    If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

    DINING OUT:
    And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

    BATHROOMS:
    A man has six items in his bathroom -- a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

    GROCERIES:
    A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

    SHOES:
    When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

    CATS:
    Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    DRESSING UP:
    A woman will dress up to: Go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

    LAUNDRY:
    Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

    OFFSPRING:
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Fucking hell thats funny lol..
    This part is so true , well with how i was bought up it is, i was in the way, always under foot, spoiling his youth , or so he said anyways ....


    OFFSPRING:
    Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
     
  3. SexyScorp

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    Ouch!!!!

    A bit toooo near the truth some of those!!!!!


    lol
     
  4. Barbwire

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    That was funny as heck, thanks for posting, Bella.
     
  5. heelfetish

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    Is is sad that except for the first 2 items on the list, the rest don't apply to me? :lol
     
  6. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Heely, I don't think it's sad at all that you care about your looks and take an active role in maintaining your household and in your child's life. It's the way it should be.
     
  7. heelfetish

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    Thanks Puss. :)
     
  8. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Its just meant as a funny, not a personal attack :0

    I find all those sorts of things funny as hell....even if not fully accurate.

    :)
     
  9. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    So do I, Kronnie, so do I..especially the bathroom one. I just don't think it's at all sad when a man cares as about his appearance and about making sure things get done. :)
     
  10. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I sometimes loath my apperance hehe

    Wish in some ways id taken more care of my looks , but alas i didnt so im a ungly frog instead :)
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Aw, that's OK hon, I don't mind if yer ugly, I have a solution to that --->[​IMG] There, that's better, now bang me!
     
  12. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    I need a face mask :p....and a suit of armor.......with a hole in the crotch hahahaha
     
  13. Bella

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    :rofl
    ~Bella
     
  14. Bella

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    Thank you for all the replies.
    It was just meant to be funny!
    No harm intended!
    ~Bella
     
  15. heelfetish

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    My reply was meant to be funny too, Bella. :)
     
  16. Elvis

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    "The difference between men and women."

    Ain't ya glad there is???????
     
  17. Bella

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    Sorry if I missed you heelfetish! :)
    ~Bella
     
  18. Bella

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    Yep! :lol
    ~Bella
     
  19. Sassy_Princess

    Sassy_Princess New Member

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    Haha all way too true!
     
  20. Bella

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    Thank you Sassy! :)
    ~Bella