The difference between cats and dogs

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Puss_in_boots, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    An oldie but goodie...still makes me laugh. :)

    DOG DIARY
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    CAT DIARY
    Day 113 of my captivity.

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
    objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
    fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt
    for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in
    order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is
    my dream of escape.

    In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
    clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
    Bastards!

    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
    I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
    that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
    I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
    I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
    snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
    He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to
    return. He is obviously retarded.
     
  2. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    Hilarious! And so what i always imagine cats to be thinking!
     
  3. Bluesy

    Gold Member

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    :rofl How uncannily accurate that would be... I'm a dog owner, but I'm also an indentured (albeit happily ;)) servant to my cat.