The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Scruples, Oct 24, 2007.

  1. Scruples

    Scruples New Member

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    The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

    I do physical labor.

    I work at great depths.

    I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

    I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

    I work in a damp environment.

    I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

    I work in high temperatures.

    My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

    Sincerely,

    P. Niss



    The Response:

    Dear Penis:

    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects
    your request for the following reasons:

    You do not work 8 hours straight.

    You fall asleep after brief work periods.

    You do not always follow the orders of the management

    team. You do not stay in your designated area and are

    often seen visiting other locations.

    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured

    and stimulated in order to start working.

    You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of

    your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety

    regulations, such as wearing the

    correct protective clothing.

    You will retire well before you are 65.

    You are unable to work double shifts.

    You sometimes leave your designated work area before

    you have completed assigned task.

    And if that were not all, you have been seen

    constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying

    two suspicious-looking bags.

    Sincerely,



    V. Gyna
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    That part made me spurt coffee all over the place. HAHAHA! Thanks for the first laugh of the day.
     
  3. cook74

    Gold Member

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    Too funny Scruples :lol Cheers mate :tup
     
  4. johnnyangel694u

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  5. Scruples

    Scruples New Member

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    For Once The Blonde Gets Even!

    Yet another from the clotted mind ...

    A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards."

    The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is .. an auto parts store?"

    "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."

    "Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.

    The trucker asked, "What are the beans for Blondie?

    She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!

    FOR ONCE THE BLONDE GETS EVEN!
     
  6. Bluesy

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    :lol Way to go, Scruples :tup Thanks for the laughs!