Telling people in a relationship that you are interested

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Trond, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. Trond

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    Do you think it is OK to let a person in a relationship know that you are interested? Some people I have talked to are of the opinion that this is never a good idea, and that it may cause problems for the couple. Still, I find that many people switch to a new partner with little or no break in between, so there must have been some 'pre-signaling' going on.

    In my own opinion, it is fine as long as you are not being "pushy" or annoying. Some bad relationships may actually need a wake-up call like this to realize that things are not working properly. If a couple can't take the fact that others are interested, then the relationship may not be worth preserving. However, it may also lead to some jealousy even in the best relationships. Also, don't expect to keep your previous friendship with the couple intact*. What do you think?

    *My own opinion of this when I was single was quite cynical. Basically: "friendship be damned, I want a girlfriend."
     
  2. ninja08hippie

    ninja08hippie Official SF Hugger
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    If a friend is in a bad relationship, you should probably do something regardless if you are interested or not. Otherwise, I wouldn't recommend saying anything.
     
  3. nurseharley

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    it depends on the other person's relationship really, as well as if the person has mutual feelings. there's no reason to rock the boat if you know nothing can really come of it. on the other hand, if both of you can accept it in a mature way and not put the current relationship in jeopardy then i don't see a problem.
     
  4. Stormin10

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    Shouldn't make any difference to a strong relationship, telling someone you're interested in them doesn't mean they feel the same way or will reciprocate, even if they're single.....

    Personally you'd want to see some significant signs of interest before sticking your nose in someone else's relationship..
     
  5. cbrmale

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    Done it a few times myself, and in a couple of cases led to something more than interest, which is why I did it. I think women who are in a loving relationship and who are very contented with their partner or husband would mostly be freaked out, but other women who aren't so contented may be willing to go along with it all.
     
  6. backcheck64

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    My wife will do one of two things depending on who it is, say thanks but not interested or laugh in their face.

    If someone shows interest in my wife, I'll either tell them to take a hike, or knock their teeth down their throat. Most have taken the hint pretty quick, only had to rough up 2.

    I've had a few women approach me and I usually just say, "sorry, taken", one that was annoyingly perisistant I finally told "look in the mirror...NO WAY IN HELL" some people just won't take a hint and get lost.
     
  7. Barbwire

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    I don't know how I would have felt were I young and in the dating game but, being 45 and married for 13 years, I know I'd be freaked out a bit. That is in the case of a real life face to face situation.

    When guys let me know they want to bang me in the cyber world I love it. :)
     
  8. backcheck64

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    My wifes 45 and we've been married 24yrs....and she gets hit on fairly often. Damn tight little work out clothes LOL
     
  9. Barbwire

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    I basically live as a hermit up here on the farm. Haven't been hit on in a while unless you count the inuendo game I play with my farrier. That went a bit too far one night when he showed up unannounced at my door with a 6-pack and a dream.

    It scared the crap out of me, literally to the point of shaking all over. I think it blew his mind a bit as well, seeing me turn into a frightened child right before his very eyes when only hours earlier I had been talking sexual smack with him.
     
  10. HardRocker

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    Guys hit on my wife all the time. I just about have to beat 'em off of her with a stick, but it's more amusing than anything.

    As for an invitation to a real relationship, she has nipped a few of those in the bud herself. I don't much like it when that happens.

    Now that we're getting old and ugly the latter doesn't happen so much, but the former still does... all the time.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    My wife is anything but a hermit. She works in a fairly high profile job in a large medical facility, involved with the hockey and lacrosse clubs, started teaching yoga and doing some personal training, and the school PTA/PTO. So probably a lot more opportunity...that and she gets mistaken for being in her early to mid thirties at the latest and rockin a hard body.