Technique with intercourse

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by Cele300, Jul 4, 2008.

  1. Cele300

    Cele300 New Member

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    A while ago i had asked of the ladies why my S.O. enjoyed intercourse far more after an orgasm than before, i got a lot of great and agreeable responses. To date that is still the case, her first [well i really like doing it so i can't really say "her" first].

    Anyways, my question is along the lines of trying to satisfy her more without the above, say during a quickie hop in the sack before leaving for somewhere where it just happens suddenly without the time to really get into things.

    Intercourse for us basically consists usually of me from behind and on our sides [spoon?] because she says it is comfortable and feels safe and close. I don't think i'm that great at it as it's pretty much just the standard in and out in and out. i'm trying to figure out what i can do to enhance things for her, I've heard that from behind adds a lot more "g" spot stimulation but without her being very excited to start off with i don't think i do very much in that sense. What concerns me is when we do most of the time she pretty much is just lying there and i begin feeling i'm more of a nuisance than a pleasure. She will say calmly that it does feel good but after about 3-4 minutes will do anything humanly possible to get me to cum. She is quite good at it. Any help with this would be great, i am being vague i know but i'm completely lost. Vibrators or manual stimulation are out of the question during intercourse, been there tried that rejected very quickly.

    I have noticed one thing recently at least, it's almost like providing more and more as we go on, i notice she doesn't try anything to make me cum either. It's basically only going in about half the length and just doing that for 5-10 minutes, as she starts trying to do stuff with me [which i take as her getting bored] i start going all the way in. Instantly she stops what she is doing the "you feel really good"'s start and off we go". I have never once even come close to getting her to orgasm during this. I get a lot of moans and slurring of words, but no orgasm. It may not be possible, wether because of my ability or not.

    I'm curious what everyone likes in a quick hop in bed situation. is there a common thing everyone likes. i.e. fast vs slow thrusts, girth, longevity, position or even what method for a favourite position.

    Again sorry for being vague and running on a little bit, sure this could be summed up in about 3-4 lines but i just basically typed what i was thinking. Thanks again for the help all

    I have searched the technique's and understand there are probably threads on this, i am focusing on pretty much the quickie type of things with basically wowing her during the short frame of time we would have. I'd love to be able to make her want more when we get back from where we have to go.
     
  2. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    A quickie for me usually involves my SO bending me over the couch or a table. There's little to no foreplay because we're both highly aroused. It's quick (hence the phrase "quickie") and rough and usually I start to orgasm shortly after being penetrated.

    In your case, however, it sounds like you and your SO have gotten stuck in a sexual rut. That is, the spoons position. Of all the positions, I'd say that's my least favorite. I don't like the ones where my lover can't see my face as much. Also, I find it particularly hard to orgasm in the spoons position. It doesn't stimulate the G-spot or the clitoris, or very much for that matter.

    My advice to you is to try see if your SO is open to trying some different positions. I know some people think it's boring, but good ole missionary (well, a modified version of it) happens to be my favorite position. You should really give it a try, sometime.
     
  3. ant_lion

    ant_lion New Member

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    Whoa! That sounds like a lot of fun, Puss...
     
  4. Cele300

    Cele300 New Member

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    but good ole missionary (well, a modified version of it)

    care to elaborate? :)
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Certainly. :brow

    Instead of just spreading my legs and lying there like a starfish, I put my legs straight up in the air and spread 'em. That position gives me a screaming orgasm every time. Putting my legs over his shoulders works well too.
     
  6. unalteredone

    unalteredone New Member

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    Well it seems like she's not really that invested in what's going on, or she's bored, and thats something you'll have to talk about with her. It isnt fun to feel like someone is uninterested in what you're doing sexually, and that's what it's sounding like. Get out of the spoons position immediately. Yeah it feels safe and close, but it isnt that interesting.

    I personally dont like quickies. As in, i know that i'm not going to cum from one. It'll feel ok, but i dont cum from just penetration. I think they're fun, and it's fun for me to see how quickly i can get my bf off, but i know that it isnt something that' about me, you know? But if she can cum from penetration, it may just be a case of waiting till she's really horny instead of just doing it just to do it.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    Cele300,
    Women typically don't like intercourse to last more than about ten minutes, so her response after five to ten minutes of thrusting is not unexpected. Secondly, regardless of how long you last, not many women orgasm through intercourse. So do not stress that she isn't coming through thrusting, because it doesn't happen very often.

    Now I went through something a lot like you describe. It was with my wife who loved me, and we had regular sex, and she was extremely passive during sex. At first it was okay because I was experienced and she had none, but after a while it caused me concern like you. I eventually discussed it with a friend who is a psychologist, and we worked out that it might have been her religious upbringing, as she was from another country and had been influenced by American-style evangelical Christianity. This proved to be the case, and I used scripture to show my wife that between couples, sex is meant to be invigorating and uplifting. I can understand her confusion, as Christianity portrays sex as an evil wicked sin of debauchery, and then expects people to forget this brainwashing the moment they get married. Some do, but as I found out, some don't.

    I am not saying your SO is having the same religious issue as my wife, although it is possible, but what I am saying is that the positions and things that other's have suggested are not the solution. The solution lies in calm and rational discussion about her attitude towards love, sex, lust and pleasure. Any discussion must be non-confrontational, and you must use the 'I' word as much as possible.

    This is wrong: "it seems that you don't seem to be getting aroused by our sex together..." This is better: "I really enjoy our lovemaking, I believe that sex makes us stronger as a couple, and what I would like to do is work together to make our sex more satisfying..." Ultimately, you may need to go beyond sex and into the deeper recesses of her mind to work out what the underlying issue is.

    I never even thought of religious inhibition, but once I discovered it and we discussed it, our sex life improved by a factor of ten times or more. I cannot believe that afterwards, it was just so fantastic! The basic ingredients were there, we love each other a lot, and all it took was resolution of the issue holding my wife back. I won't say it's religious influence on your wife, but you live in a country with a lot of religious influence on sex, and it's possible that Christianities anti-sex message is paying a part in your problem.

    And for those on the forum who want to quote Song of Solomon and other things, my late father was a theologian and I am aware of these things. But we are talking colours and shades, about how sex IS portrayed as lust and fornication and given a stigma. No matter how much enlightened Churches try to encourage good sex between married couples, Christianities stigma on sex is not like a light switch that is turned off just because you are together with someone you love. It's can be more like unbrainwashing.
     
  8. Cele300

    Cele300 New Member

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    CBR - very impressed with the write up, i know it isn't a religous aspect but i get what you are saying. I have brought it up calmly with her and it is a lot to do with her being overtired because she works nights/days back to back a whole lot. A lot is about to settle down this coming week so I hope with the reduced stress things will be better.

    Thanks to the above responses as well and Puss for elaborating, :dgrin

    I'll try the above, definately talk as you suggested CBR and give an update :)

    Thanks all