taking things further...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by kestrel_m, Apr 9, 2007.

  1. kestrel_m

    kestrel_m New Member

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    hi, I'm new to these forums.

    i joined to ask if anyone has any advice on a problem i have.

    since i became sexually active, i have had a few partners, the first 5 of which were simply experimental, i tried things out with different people and moved on. it was fun.

    but now i'm in a long-term relationship that grew out of a friendship. and because of the way it happened, the sexual side of things has developed in a way i'm not very happy with.

    to put it simply, i love her, but the sex is dull for me. it was fine at first, but as we've gone on, i've realised that i'm getting bored and i miss the experimental stage of my sex life. i don't think i was done trying things out.

    for example, i have asked my girlfriend several times if she will try anal with me, but she has always refused, saying she's afraid it will hurt and she think she's "that kind of girl".

    i don't want to press her into doing something she doesn't want to do, but i would like to persuade her into being more open to new ideas. which kind of leads me to the other thing i want to try with her... bondage and submission. i have never even mentioned this to my girlfriend though, because i'm not sure how to approach her about it, she's never shown an interest in anything particularly kinky but i think she has the right personality for bondage and submission play, but i have to go about it right or else she'd be scared off by some of the things i want to do if i don't "ease her in" slowly.

    does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about getting her to first agree to trying anal (i see this as the first step toward getting her to try the things i want to do), and then how to move on to things like bondage and submission?

    i should probably mention as well that i deeply love and respect my girlfriend and i have no intention of abusing her or doing anything against her will, but i need to be able to experiment and be open about my sexual needs and desires if the relationship is going to last (as i want it to)

    so any suggestions would be great :)
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    Hey, welcome to :sf ! If you do a search under "anal" you will find lots and lots of threads on the topic to help you out. I think there are a few threads on bondage and submission on here, too.

    Oh, and one thing to keep in mind, no matter what you want to do sexually, honest communication is the key.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    If you have brought up anal and She said no, Well no still means no.
    I am not into anal as are a lot of people here, But I am open minded to it
    I just think it is something that could disgust some people so
    I would not advise you to push.
    Now about that B&D thing, i do it to a degree, Try putting Her over your lap and
    getting her ass a little red then tenderly kiss where you smacked
    and let that lead to a lot of pussy eating. And you could tweak her nipples
    a little hard. If She likes, or responds favorably you have it made. This is
    one thing where practice makes perfect. So don't give up the first time.

    Hiker:sf
     
  4. loveit247

    Gold Member

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    You don't want a girlfriend, you want a sex toy. She is a human being with feelings, stop pushing her.
     
  5. pirouette

    Gold Member

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    It doesn't sound like you've been dating long enough to warrant that kind of experimentation with her yet. I certainly would have been skeptical about anal the first year I dated my husband. But we have spent 15 years discovering all the various ways of entertaining each other sexually. I can't complain. :)
    Give it time.
     
  6. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    You deserve a flower for that great reply.

    Hiker