[Ask a Girl] Taking Pictures of GF without her knowing

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by jakeuty, Nov 2, 2010.

  1. jakeuty

    jakeuty New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Hey guys, okay...my girlfriend I've known for 10 years now and we're great friends. I've liked her for a while and she doesn't know it but I'd take pictures of her (like her butt, boobs - but in clothing she isn't sexually active) and masturbate to them on my own time. She is a deep Christian and owns a purity ring, so I don't know how she would react to these things. I recently stopped because I assume she would KILL me if she found out, but what should I do? Should I tell her (even though I stopped)? Please help!

    *Please no hating, I know that is was kind of sick and wrong and invasion of privacy...*
     
  2. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    hmm.. personally I would feel flattered to have a friend tell me something like that and it would actually get me off really. But then again I am not her.

    Maybe if you got to know her views about things like that and her openness about masturbation .. you may find out if she is ready to tell or not.
     
  3. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,408
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    You ask for no hating but what you're doing is an extreme invasion of privacy and you're totally in the wrong.
    It's disgusting, not flattering.

    No, I wouldn't tell her. If I were you I would stop immediately, not even THINK about ding it again and never again admit to such deplorable actions.
     
  4. Meee

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2010
    Messages:
    2,198
    Likes Received:
    3,094
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Potomac, Maryland
    Why are you thinking of telling her? What is your goal?
     
  5. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    It is an invasion of privacy. But I can tell that he knows he's done wrong by doing it... the very fact that he posted this thread.

    Guys usually need visual stimulation and it might be hard to remember how her boobs or butt looks when he is masturbating. I know it's wrong but at least they are not naked photos.
     
  6. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,408
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    So because they aren't nude photos what he's done is justifiable in your opinion?
     
  7. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    331
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Do I think that what he has done is Justifiable? I think the fact that he is taking pictures of her for this purpose only is devious and to some people could be seen as sick .. But I am not going to pass judgement because overall it depends on what she thinks about the situation.

    What is the difference between him having a visual image in his head opposed to an actual image.. he's still thinking the same thing.

    Well I don't know, I guess I must be a bad person. I have in the past had someone tell me that they got off looking at a "regular" photo of me...I was flattered back then...But that is me.

    I think the fact that they are close friends might make circumstances more complicated.
     
  8. SWGirl

    SWGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2010
    Messages:
    369
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IN
    Try to remember the fact that he said she'd KILL HIM if she found out about it. Does that change your view of THIS particular incident at all?
     
  9. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    I think you should destroy the pictures/files. And I see no good that would come of telling her, it may just hurt her. Presumably you've realized what you did was wrong, so if there is any guilt to be borne, it's yours. We all do things we wish we could have back, so consider it a learning experience and leave it behind.

    That's just my take on the situation. I see you already have a few others to work with.
     
  10. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    My neck on the chopping block:

    Yes, dude, destroy the pics. But don't go off feeling like your the scum of the earth unless this girl is really young. If she's young then feel free to go off feeling like that. But if we were to assume that she's "of age" then what you did wasn't right, but it's not as if you did something to physically harm her.

    I'm certainly not trying to elicit drama here, but how many of you that are bashing this guy have had fantasies about some celebrity after seeing a pic of them? Surely that would be an invasion of the celebrity's privacy then right? And Gawd forbid that you might have touched yourself after you saw said pic online.

    If I'm missing some hugely relevant fact, then please enlighten me. Otherwise, I don't see the point in stringing this guy up for this.

    Shred the pics. Talk to your girl, but DON'T tell her about what you did since it would serve NO purpose other than to hurt her if she is that devout.
     
  11. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Unwitting or unwilling celebs, maybe so, but I think those who purposely choose a field in which they are photographed knowingly forfeit the luxury of privacy to that degree.
    Plus we didn't sneak around and take their photos, which adds a good bit of weight to the wrongness. I think taking the pictures is the greater breach of trust.
     
  12. Mittimer

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2010
    Messages:
    7,509
    Likes Received:
    4,408
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Fl
    No drama here, but just to clarify, you just compared him taking a photo of a "friend" not his girlfriend, unknowingly and masturbating to it and linking that to one of us masturbating to a publicly taken photo of a celebrity in the lime light? There really isn't anything related to the two. (At least in my opinion)

    Taking a photo in a public place of a celebrity when the celebrity knows (which is what 99.9% of photos online are) isn't an invasion of privacy. Taking a photo of a friends ass and tits (clothed or not without their consent ) for the sole purpose of masturbating to them, is in fact an invasion of privacy.

    Whether or not the OP is in the right or wrong isn't really of any relevance, as that's up to each individuals own opinion.

    What he's done though, brought one thing to mind and I invite the OP to read this article as it's something that he may find interesting.

    Paraphilia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    A quote from the article:

    American Journal of Psychiatry describes paraphilia as "recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors generally involving:
    1. Non-human objects
    2. The suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner
    3. Children
    4. Non-consenting persons
    5. People of the same sex (until 1973)

    Just saying...
     
  13. htoad

    htoad Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2010
    Messages:
    456
    Likes Received:
    49
    Gender:
    Male
    Relationships do not thrive on dishonesty. Folks seem to forget that a relationship is about shared needs, and not just about ones own needs. In my view if you need to do sneaky things that you think you will get in trouble for if found out, you should not be in that relationship. My advice would be to destroy the pictures. I would also tell your girlfriend - because you likely will be tempted to do it again of you do not. It is better to be sure to know where you stand. If she would kill you over them, what does that tell you about your relationship?
     
  14. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2010
    Messages:
    373
    Likes Received:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Indiana
    Objectively speaking, Paraphilia is a pretty broad term to explain a whole array of non-standard urges and tendencies; (minus homosexuality which was removed in 1973 with the publication of the DSM IV.)

    Bottom line here:
    Officer Steve talking. If she found out and was angry about it; she could call one of my friends. They would come and get you, handcuff you, fingerprint you, and make you speak to a lawyer about your options.

    The most likely outcome? Depending on the prosecutor and judge, you plead guilty out of court to misdemeanor lewd and lascivious conduct, do court-ordered community service, and register in the national sex offender registry which will be accessible by any private citizen for your entire life.

    Answer me this...
    Is it worth it?

    ~Steve
     
  15. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2010
    Messages:
    329
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Midwest
    The OP said it WAS his girlfriend--that he's known for 10 yrs. That's why I categorized it the way I did in my response.

    But yes, it IS wrong---do doubt. I hope I didn't come across as saying it wasn't......

    And yeah, I see the point about celebs having to assume that they will be photographed in public by anyone at anytime. Good point :)
     
  16. HayleyB

    HayleyB New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2010
    Messages:
    71
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    It does seem like a very personal invasion of privacy to me. Perhaps you should ask permission.
     
  17. nurseharley

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2010
    Messages:
    1,618
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    sweet home...
    here's some advice....instead of spending your time taking photos of her, why not tell her you like her? maybe she likes you too and when she chooses to become sexually active, it could be with you and you wont have to hide in the bushes and take pics of her :D
     
  18. Shane

    Shane New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2010
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    r
    Somewhatlovely. Has said the most intelligent and positive post of the whole thread.
     
  19. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2010
    Messages:
    570
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Illinois
    best response ever to this thead :D