Swinging with an older couple

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by YoungHusband19, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Wife and I are 19, have been swinging the past several months with a couple in thier mid 40s. Basically trading wives for the night. I am pretty new to this and thigns have come to ma point that things are being discussed that I am not really feeling too sure about. I just feel that the other husband overstepped some boundaries with this recently. Wondering if any other people new to swinging have ended up having second thoughts about it.
     
  2. almostthere

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2011
    Messages:
    723
    Likes Received:
    236
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    southeast
    Overstepped? How? Your letting him have your wife. He's mid 40s and she's 19. Poor fucker must be daydreaming about that young thing all the time. Sorry to say you kinda set that up.
     
  3. thisnthat

    thisnthat New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2010
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    what did he do the over stepped? You say you are swingers and let him go alone with your wife. Most swingers i know go with there spouse. Never let them go alone
     
  4. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    could we have some more details about what happened? have you done anything like this before? (with other couples?) any ground rules? what did the other male do wrong? do you always seperate or are u normally in the same room?
     
  5. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    About every other week weekend we have just swapped wives, his coming to my place and mine going to his. This started back in December. I just recently found out that he has on a few occasions had a couple of his freinds involed in this. I just dont know how common this is in swinging and I am having some mixed feeligns about it now. I started dating my wife when we were 14, got married 1 week after we graduated from high school, we were both 18. We just decided to explore the swing scene before we settle down and start a family in a couple more years.
     
  6. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    all i can say is , we are talking about swinging (my gf and myself)...and have been talking for a long while, so that when the opporotunity presents itself we both know EXACTLY what is and isnt acceptable...just go over your ground rules. she's your wife, he's not calling the shots with her, you are. you all need to be in agreement. As for my opinion about what he did......that's fucking outta line. to put it mildly.
     
  7. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Thanks, I think it is a bit out of line too but my wife disagreed with me about it. I just dont really know what to do now the the precedent has been set with it.
     
  8. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    bullshit....shes your wife..there is no precedent...you make the rules together, you and your wife....and if it unacceptable to YOU, then its unacceptable....and thats all. and if your wife wants to continue doing something that hurts you? then youve got bigger problems than this....
     
  9. Trond

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Likes Received:
    387
    Gender:
    Male
    Hear hear! +1 to this
     
  10. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    you know what?...scratch what i said...if i agreed to a swap with another couple, and the other guy invited a bunch of his friends over to fuck MY girl........are you kidding me? .....why are we even talking about this? i would lose my fucking mind, dude...he invited HIS friends over to fuck YOUR wife!!!!!!without you knowing? And...AND your wife went along with it?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL???? i think you need to deal with this now, and stop asking for advice...i'm sorry , but i just put myself in your shoes for a minute and it all clicked....or maybe snapped is a better word...
     
  11. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Its just the guy, his wife and my wife have said I am making too much out of this and I just wanted some different opinions about it. I am open enough to swing/share but this just took me off gaurd
     
  12. 12barblues

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2012
    Messages:
    5,297
    Likes Received:
    3,744
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    california, USA
    if it doesnt bother you, then fine...but it does bother you. so address it. or it will fester into something that ends your marriage. just follow your instincts here.....thats YOUR wife. put your foot down. she will respect you as a man. you're not being unreasonable here...
     
  13. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    I just feel I am going thru some emotions over this that are conflicting.
     
  14. awakened

    awakened New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2010
    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    37
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Texas
    Okay heres my two cents. I have hundreds of friends in the swinging scene with us and there are many different levels of swapping. I have NEVER heard of this in any of the levels. I am just shocked they consider this normal in swinging world.

    My husband and I have swapped on many different levels, same room seperate room complete seperate nights apart and I would consider what this 40ish husband is doing to your 19 yrs old wife is a gang bang, at least thats what we call it in Texas.

    Your wife may like it and to each his own but you in no way should be swayed to think this is normal in the swinging world and be left out of the decision what happens when he "borrows" your wife.

    I know for a fact that my husband would come rip off the guys nuts if when he swapped with me he invited several of his friends over to enjoy also. OMG, I am just shocked.
     
  15. bluvm

    bluvm Member

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2011
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    I agree with 12BB and Awakened...Not being into the swinging lifestyle myself. But if a guy was inviting his friends I would not be cool with it. If your wife is, like you said, there may be other problems.

    You did get married VERY young. Neither of you had a chance to sow your oats. It might be catching up with you in this swinging activities. You better sit down and make it clear what the ground rules are. Hopefully your marriage will survive this swinging activity.
     
  16. Angelwings755

    Angelwings755 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2012
    Messages:
    15
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New York
    Other than giving us a vague statement about his inviting some of his friends over when she was there, you didn't really tell us much about how he "overstepped his boundaries"
     
  17. YoungHusband19

    YoungHusband19 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 24, 2012
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Him and his 2 freinds had sex withg me wife. All 3 at once.
     
  18. KindDiscoGirl

    KindDiscoGirl New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2012
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    WA
    I just read the first page of advice, but I just wanted to say it sounds like you and your wife need to close the relationship back up to just the two of you until you feel like you have strong base once again.

    Take some time to fall back in love, it's something all couples need to do regularly. Remind each other why you married so young and keep that young love!
     
  19. igor

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2006
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago area
    Right on. I have never been involved in swinging but this really raises a flag.:ugh
     
  20. Dragon_Fire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,893
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    I think this sounds dangerous. If this guy is already inviting mates over to fuck her and use her, what happens when she decides enough is enough? She is very likely to live to regret this, and so are you for not stepping in and acting on this sooner.