Suggestions?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Esozh, Nov 3, 2012.

  1. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    I'm trying to figure out a way for me to cum faster. Even when I lost my virginity, the girl was done and was asking me if I was going to finish. I have finished before, but I have to be either drunk, stoned on pain pills (I came more in the week after I had my wisdom teeth pulled than I have altogether before or after), or have someone watch.

    When I have had group sex or been watched, I finish in 10-15 minutes. I've done public sex in a park on the hood of a car in the middle of the night with no one around and it did nothing for me, but then I also had sex with a girl bent over an ottoman by the doors to a hotel balcony while people walked around 7 stories below and I came with no problem. So I know being able to know I could get caught or am being watched is a huge turn on for me. Doggy does it once in a while, maybe three times a year.

    My current gf and I will probably end up getting married. She's perfect to me. But, I know it bothers her that I don't cum. I think some of it is that we don't use condoms (she's on the pill) and I'm paranoid she'll get pregnant. One of my coworkers wife is pregnant right now despite the pill, and another has a 2 yr old daughter that she got pregnant while on the pill.

    My gf has tolerated things so far because she knows I get close, but I can never seem to just let go and cum. I've had fuck buddies leave before over this - they take it as an "oh he obviously doesn't think I'm that good". It's not actively presenting a problem in our relationship, but she always mention that it's not fair that I can get her off as easily as I do, but that I've onły ever cum once with her. She actively tries to get me to cum from blowjobs, etc. She lets me do whatever I want as long as it doesn't leave visible marks. We have a very active and kinky sex life. But I really think she would be more satisfied if I came more regularly, or even at all.

    So does anyone have a suggestion on what to do? I used to do tantric sex a lot, and would masturbate to the edge of an orgasm and hold it, wait for it to pass, and repeat. I've tried not masturbating at all, and I'm a douchebag when I'm drunk so I try not to drink more than one or two. And shes not ok with someone just watching.
     
  2. lbushwalker

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  3. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I think you might be an exhibitionist.....by what you said in your post. You might try video tapping you and your gf.....that might turn you on....I wouldn't let the pregnancy issue bother you to the point you can't enjoy your sex life. The reason I say this, is because one of my friends had her two kids then got her tubes tied, well seems her tubes came untied and she got pregnant with her third.....after that...I became a strong believer in " whatever is meant to be, will be".
    But again this is just my opinion:)
     
  4. cbrmale

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    I do Tantric sex as well and when I have difficulties coming I reverse the process. Instead of creative visualisation of my sexual energy leaving your body, I visualise that energy getting closer and closer to the tip of my penis. Doesn't always work and if I'm distracted in any way we sometimes have to give up after marathon sessions. Doesn't much matter if it's only once in a while.

    Beyond that you do seem concerned about using the pill and maybe a more modern form of birth control like an implant would help things. These are more reliable because pills can fail due to a number of circumstances. Missing one, taking one at the wrong time of day, upset stomach or antibiotics. With the security of knowing your girlfriend won't get pregnant it may tip you over the edge.

    Like you I enjoy public sex and group sex and have done a few threesomes and gangbangs (in fact I am attending a gangbang this Friday). I get hard and am able to perform and notice that a few men don't get hard and most get, at best, semi-hard. I do recognise that I am a sexual exhibitionist and am turned on by peforming in front of an audience, and this makes the sexual afterglow much more intense too.

    In your case it may not be needing to have an audience, rather knowing an audience is there blanks your mind to your other concerns. Maybe if you can reduce those concerns about unplanned pregnancies it will get you where you want to go.
     
  5. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    What's making this worse is she's so concerned about the pregnancy issue she has an OB appointment today... I think clearing my mind to that would be the main thing. We had the always fun sex in our sleep once - woke up banging her doggy style, dreams do come true - and I came pretty fast from that. So I think I'll just have to get drunk or something. I don't get whiskey dick, so here's hoping...
     
  6. AGFUNK

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    Another thing could be that you're using to coming when on pain pills or drunk. It's a psychological thing. Have you cum very much when you're not high or drunk?

    Yes, you're an exhibitionist so maybe if you could just think in your head that someone is watching you will get off.