Sudden lack of interest...

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by LilKitten, Jul 27, 2006.

  1. LilKitten

    LilKitten New Member

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    So I've been dating my current boyfriend for about 6 months and during that entire time we have had a wonderful sex life. It was very active and fulfilling to both of us. Lately, however, he seems to have no interest in anything sexual. I try to entice him into having sex with me in every way possible but to no avail. On top of that, I have also offered blow jobs on several occasions but there doesn't seem to be much interest there either. Honestly, what man turns down a blow job?? My mind has also been focusing on the fact that it seems like this lack of interest began after we had anal sex for the first time. We had anal sex twice and it seems to me that after that is when the lack of interest began. I might be reading more into that that's really there but I'm really baffled by this lack of interest. I have tried talking to my boyfriend about it but he doesn't seem to have an explanation for it.

    I know it's hard to give advice when you guys don't know everything about the situation but if anyone has any thoughts, I'd be glad to hear them.
     
  2. AnonymousOne

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    Hmmm ... I'd recommend a good solid discussion. Getting the cards on the table tends to help sort things out. Other than that, I don't know kitten... Wish I could be more help. I don't see how anal sex would make a person's view of their partner change... but that's me.
     
  3. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Was the anal sex less than pleasing for one or both of you? Was it seriously messy? Was there some reaction from one of you during those encounters that might have made him feel more distant? Who initiated it, and who seemed to enjoy it more?
     
  4. LilKitten

    LilKitten New Member

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    Thanks for the responses. I have had a few long conversations with my boyfriend this past week about his sudden lack of interest, however the conversations never seem to go anywhere. He says he can't explain why he's lost interest lately and the more I try to figure it out, he gets annoyed with me and tells me that he's sure it'll pass.

    I wouldn't think that the anal sex experience would change anything either but it just seemed like a strange coincidence that the lack of interest began right after that. The anal sex we had was very enjoyable for the both of us, not messy at all and it didn't even hurt for me. They were overall great experiences and afterwards we both said to each other that we enjoyed them and would continue incorporating anal sex into our sex life.

    I just don't understand my boyfriend's behavior and every approach I've taken to figure it out has failed. I don't know - I guess maybe giving it time will provide some answers.
     
  5. hudsonredgrave

    hudsonredgrave New Member

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    Is it possible that you bf obtained what many men think of as the ultimate goal and now the thrill of the chase is over? Speaking as a guy who has been married for over twenty years and never had anal sex, it is my unreachable prize.
     
  6. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    hudsonredgrave I thought that I was the only one who had been married a long time and never had anal sex! It is my unreachable prize, too! Anyway, as for LilKitten above, I suddenly wondered if perhaps her boy friend might have gotten an infection from the anal sex but doesn't want to mention it to her, out of embarrassment, and is just waiting for the antibiotic treatment to be over. If I ever manage to have anal sex with my wife, I will do it "bareback", that is, without a condom, however, I would probably also immediately go to a Doctor and get an antibiotic just as a precaution against urinary infection. On the other hand, maybe he just surprised himself at how far his lust took him and may be dealing with that emotionally. Last night, after reading these various posts, I found myself to be very horny. I wanted to make love with my wife, however, she was too tired so I asked her if she would please do a hand job on me. She kindly agreed. As she rubbed my penis and as I got hotter and more in ecstacy, I started to remember the pictures of some of the female posters here. That made me even hotter and took me on into my orgasm. Afterwards, as I laid there, I felt kind of weird that I had thought of those beautiful women at that moment. All this by way of saying that maybe LilKitten's man might feel kind of weird about what happened. Anyway, I hope that things will work out well for them.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
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    I dunno, but it's possible that he's done everything sexually with you that he's dreamed of, and now the "chase" is over. He may not want to feel that way, and he may not even realize it, but it could be a subconscious feeling that just numbs his libido. Or not. :shrug
     
  8. Bubsy

    Bubsy New Member

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    Heck, I'll NEVER pass up a BJ, my GF barely likes giving them at all. A man that passes that up seems to have some lack of sexual interest or is gay and won't admit it.
     
  9. LilKitten

    LilKitten New Member

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    I love giving my man blow jobs and he usually enjoys receiving them just as much! That's why it just totally threw me that he was actually turning them down!

    Sort of an update: Things have gotten a little better between us. There's been some hot sex the past few days so maybe he was just too stressed with work, etc. Thanks for everyone's ideas!
     
  10. pussycat69

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    Well,good luck :).I hope things 'pick up' for you.
     
  11. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I think we all go through streaks, times where sex is just really at the bottom of our list. Being understanding of those times and patient during those times is what makes a couple, a love(r). I'm so glad to hear things are better. And now you know that you are connected to a man who takes the matters in his life very seriously, and may need space now and then. Sounds like a pretty serious, compassionate guy, which is a plus in my book. (Though he may need to work a little on communicating the stresses he experiences; that may come with age and maturity.)

    Mmmwa.
    Mel