Straying Thoughts

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by davzy, May 2, 2007.

  1. davzy

    davzy New Member

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    Hello, I have an issue i think,

    I have a partner, and 2 children, 3 and 4 years old, me and my partner have not shared much of a sex life since the birth of child 1, and i was always very very sexually active,

    Before we met i had a different pair of feet hanging out of the bed almost every other night, then we met, i went monogamous, but have maintained my very active sexual mind, the sex was/is great, im still very attracted to her sexually, but here is my issue,

    I cannot stop thinking about other women, especially her younger sister and her best friend, i am always fantasizing about them, I have even gone as far as to deliberately be caught naked by them, I have been completely faithful to her, but now that our relationship is deteriorating i find myself doing more things alone, like i went out the other weekend and had many women interested and i was very tempted, I often drop innuendos when speaking to her older sister she has 3 sisters or friends just to see their reactions, and 1 of her friends even hinted that if i offered she would take, again, i am very interested, but have never done anything as yet,

    Do i have a personal issue, or is it just the end of the relationship and the kids are holding us together?
     
  2. Unquenchable

    Unquenchable New Member

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    I think you need to discuss your relationship with your wife and that you are not completely happy. I mean if you aren't getting enough from her then you two need to discuss why that is a problem. If you are having a lot of great sex with her (taking into account that you two have young children to deal with) then I seriously think the problem lays with you. After all you did marry her.
     
  3. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    In my opinion, you have some serious respect issues. It seems that you are not only considering infidelity, but that, deep down, you want to cause her some serious pain in the process by stepping out with her best friend AND/OR her sister. If you feel you need to move on, that you can't be monogomous, then at least respect her enough to end that relationship first. Don't make her lose you and her friend(s) and/or family.
     
  4. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Uhm...I don't think he ever claimed that he was married, just that he has a "partner" and that before he "went monogamous" he led a pretty promiscuous lifestyle.

    To the OP...it seems that despite your best intentions you still want to have sex with as many women as possible. I guess you have to ask yourself how important your partner is to you. How would you feel about losing her? How would she feel if you cheated on her?

    How would you feel if she cheated on you?
     
  5. RubyRed

    RubyRed New Member

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    I absolutely agree with melicious. You need to decide on one thing first and foremost - Do you want to be with your partner? Is the relationship worth salvaging to you?

    If so, then you two need to have some heart-to-heart discussions and work through your issues. You've got 2 young children and I'm willing to be that you could do more to help her out with housework and childrearing. Rather than putting all the blame on her for her lack of interest in sex, try asking her what her needs are.

    If you've fallen out of love and don't think there's a future for the two of you, then get a backbone and break it off.

    Cheating on someone is a very cowardly way of not dealing with an unfulfilling relationship. And cheating with her best friend or sister is just trashy.

    It's hard to be a grown-up, but it's worth it. Do your kids a favor and show their mother a little respect and compassion.
     
  6. afrosam

    afrosam New Member

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    you have a family now, and these thoughts just may be temporary...u need a sit down with the wifey to discuss where yall are at, and what u can do to change your feelings.
     
  7. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    Think not of how this would hurt her or you, but how it would utterly destroy your children.
     
  8. Barbwire

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    Well, no, it doesn't have to "utterly destroy" the children. People split up/get divorced every day. Kids deal with it, some better than others, mind you, but they all deal with it. What utterly destroys children is to watch their parents in a relationship that has gone bad. They are destroyed by watching fights, hate and resentment building between the parents, and by seeing a loveless relationship played out in their homes every day.

    My advice to the original poster is to move on. It sounds like your partner is no longer holding your interest.
     
  9. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Excellent points Cowboy Lover, watching mommy and daddy screaming "I hate you!" at one another is a lot more traumatic than mommy and daddy no longer living together. Kids are quite resilient and adaptable.
     
  10. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    If there is cheating and the destruction that comes with that -- it can.

    If it's a dignified split -- clean on the boards -- and none of the trust shatterying betrayal, then it can be *better* for the kids than the cheating. However in our world today people don't TRY hard enough. Tough to do if only one person will try -- but I'm talking about both parties. They dont try to make it work. They should -- the effects of parents splitting on children are life-long. Ask my wife!