Strange U.S. Sex Laws

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Puss_in_boots, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I found these on this website and thought I'd post them here. Some of them are pretty weird, some are funny, and others are downright disturbing:

    -- In Bakersfield, California, anyone having intercourse with Satan
    must use a condom. (An asbestos one we presume.)

    -- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
    hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

    -- In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse
    with a live fish. (Apparently it's OK for woman.)

    -- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
    onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
    so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

    -- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
    allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with
    you -- or holding you in his arms.

    -- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
    members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
    if they're nude.

    -- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
    have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
    when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
    love on the floor between the beds!

    -- The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
    provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even
    if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have
    sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
    nightshirts.

    -- An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
    having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

    -- A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
    master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

    -- In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity
    with the lights on.

    -- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
    because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of
    a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
    male."

    -- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
    officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
    suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
    from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two
    minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

    -- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
    table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
    ounces of clothing. (Ouch! These pasties hurt!)

    -- Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered
    species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows
    or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Insectophiles apparently were
    successful in their lobbying efforts.)

    -- Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
    lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while
    they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

    -- In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
    parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or
    van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

    -- Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio
    - a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

    -- No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within
    the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged
    with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
    newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

    -- It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct
    official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in
    session.
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Forgive me for not reading all of those , but i havnt been to sleep yet and its 14:30pm here...

    I nearly collapsed on my ass dieing of laughter are these laws for real ?

     
  3. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Well, on the original website where I copied them there was this little disclaimer:

    [excerpted from Net newsgroup post 2/96 and other sources - Note: The
    accuracy of these purported laws is questionable. Also, since the
    official Library position is that all sex should be outlawed - unless
    our beloved Head Librarian Ralf is a participant - we urge all patrons
    to use all means at their disposal to have the laws below enacted in
    their localities. - Staff]

    :lol

    You're in the the same time zone as me. Get thee to bed...sheesh.
     
  4. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    Hilarious!! :) Thanks for the laugh.
     
  5. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Love it when Ryan posts about Britons and their problem, LMFAO!

    UK 13, USA 1!
     
  6. pussycat69

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    Too funny!
     
  7. doberman

    doberman New Member

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    -- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
    members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
    if they're nude.

    but its legal to do it BEFORE sundown?!

    -- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
    have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
    when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
    love on the floor between the beds!

    and what about the floor IN FRONT of the beds? or if beds are pulled together, ON TOP of them?

    and that were only the most obvious.. dayum, maybe i should have become a lawyer.. for lovemaking!!! :lol
     
  8. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    I think most of those laws are bias towards women!
     
  9. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Yeah, especially the one about how a man can't have sex with a fish but a woman can!
     
  10. AnonymousOne

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    DAMNIT! That Flounder I was in a commited relationship with has got to go I s'pose. :lol
     
  11. SexyScorp

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    Does that mean I am now damned to the fiery depths cos I had sex with Satan and he didnt wear a condom....

    Oh noooooooooooo........
    [​IMG]

    A1.....lol!
     
  12. AnonymousOne

    Gold Member

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    Alas poor Flipper ... I knew her well.... :cry
     
  13. HerHubby

    HerHubby The SF Poet Laureate
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    Oh, my ribs hurt so bad from laughing! That's a HOOT!
     
  14. Master9804

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    Hey I sorta Like the Illinois law of being called,,,,, MASTER. Yeahhhhhh. LOL
     
  15. Bella

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    :lol Hilarious!
    ~Bella
     
  16. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    I love Minnesota, I really do... I wonder if the Alexandria law extends to unmarried couples, because I've had sex there and after eating at one of the restaruants there my bf can smell somewhat garlicky



    And I am oh so glad I don't live in Cleveland...I love my red patent leather kitten heels
     
  17. GentleManSteve

    GentleManSteve New Member

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    South Carolina laws on sex says it is OK for two kids to have sex as long as both of them is under 16 years of age and if they are 16 they can have sex with 15-17 years olds. As long as both agree to having sex. Consentual sex
     
  18. LimeLight

    LimeLight New Member

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    I love those!
    In Rhode Island there is a law that states:
    "Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void."
    I'd never be able to get married there.