Story of a lady who "waxed" stupid woman!!

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Hot Wheels, Nov 17, 2006.

  1. Hot Wheels

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    Friend of ours sent us her story, so glad Im a guy:D

    Wax is not your friend!

    All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair
    And now...the wax.

    My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids.
    I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
    "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet."
    So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

    It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else)
    And you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

    (YA THINK!?!)

    So I pull one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so Igetout the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)

    I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

    With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.
    Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my pussy and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply
    And brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

    I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!
    Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip CRAP!!!
    Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums???

    Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.

    I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip!
    There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

    Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax.

    CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

    DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. Pussy*?? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut!
    I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!"
    What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!

    I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
    WRONG!!!!!!!

    I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
    Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

    So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

    God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
    I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter -
    "So, my butt and pussy are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"
    There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or pussy?"

    She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
    YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

    While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then
    dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

    By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

    My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.... the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
    What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
    The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
    It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!! It works!!

    I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

    I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....
    THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

    So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

    Next week I'm going to try hair color......
    Now thats funny . Notttttttttt
     
    #1 Hot Wheels, Nov 17, 2006
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2006
  2. mjtonks

    mjtonks New Member

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    A bit long but I think its more for the guys and you should probaby put it in the stories section rather than here. I have heard of these types of stories before about women and also that mock men. The battle of the sexes continues. I dont think it was too wise putting this here however since there are female members who will probably glance at this especially when this forum I believe, at least for me, is to emphasize men and women being equal. When I read this it makes me think that your trying to say "TYPICAL". Good luck, I hope you get some better posts on this though.
     
  3. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    When was it that you died mjtonks
    personally I couldnt get through it for laughing.
     
  4. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    lol, hotwheels... that sucks. I've always had very good luck with that style of wax

    question...did you trim the hair down to about 1/2 to 1/4 inch first?
     
  5. Joe

    Joe
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    Had me laughing out loud. Snorting and giggling, actually. LMAO Funny story!
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Wow. Two days and you give others a hard time?
     
  7. Bluesy

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    Oh, the pain, the pain! From laughing so hard! My stomach hurts... :rofl

    I've heard other waxing horror stories, but that one takes the cake. I think I'll just stick with my trusty razor :ugh
     
  8. mjtonks

    mjtonks New Member

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    It seems I did die a little early than expected BIGHIKER. I thought that this was one of the things that was more appropriate to show to my mate rather than make public knowledge and it would appear that some of those female members have also had a good laugh. Though dont mistake me for someone with no sense of humour. I can see the funny side but as I pointed out above that I thought it was mainly for the guys.
     
  9. Bluesy

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    Trust me, MJ, we ladies love to sit around and share stuff like this :D Relating stories about the feminine experience and all the hazards that go with it...it can be quite the bonding thing.
     
  10. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Well, I sampled the finished product. But with a girl who had it done right! And the fun I had with that waxed, hairless, pussy that night was described in detail in my previous posts! With the aid of baby oil, I had a slippery, fun, and hot and horny time! Those nice, exposed lips were just amazing! I will eventually try the same thing with flavored lube as Bluesy and Mel suggested. But until then, why don't you try a professional bikini waxer?
     
  11. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Moved to Sexual Fetishes and Stories :)
     
  12. Hot Wheels

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    Wasnt sure just where to post it Puss, thanks for finding the right spot:D
     
  13. moonpetals

    moonpetals New Member

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    I think I hurt myself laughing. :rofl
     
  14. AnonymousOne

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    Spend less time being an overly sensative wet sop and I might develop some modicum of respect for you. Untill that time, you are a pansy.
     
  15. heelfetish

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    I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but that was one of the funniest stories I have ever read. The writer sure has a way with words!!!

    I've tried waxing 'down there' once, and it wasn't all that pleasant. So for now I just stick to shaving my delicate parts.
     
  16. jedistardust

    jedistardust New Member

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    oh my god! I would definitely have been traumatized o_O (although that didn't stop me from giggling a little still)

    Glad to hear you made it alive though! This waxing story definitely takes the cake!
     
  17. Ryna

    Ryna New Member

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    Last week my gf waxed my ass and about 2 hrs ago, she waxed my chest...I'm on a waxing kick for some reason...cant wait for laser hair removal