Stopping the "Pill"

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sparklebaby, Apr 15, 2007.

  1. sparklebaby

    sparklebaby New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    So, as luck would find it, I am one of those women who gain weight and cannot lose it while I'm on (hormonal birth control, such as) the pill. My boyfriend and I have been together over six years and have used the "pill" for birth control for most of that time.

    I'm seriously thinking of stopping the "pill" so I can resume my normal weight and relying on my male partner to use a condom. We have been together for over 6 yrs. and I'm wondering if he will readily accept this change . . . .

    Guys, what would you honestly think if your longtime girlfriend asked this of you . . . ???


    Please be honest; I am hoping the administrators and moderators of this forum will keep everything respectful . . .

    Thanks

    -sparklebaby
     
  2. Elvis

    Elvis Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2007
    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Spain
    Surely it would be better to ask him first?
     
  3. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    This is a reasonable request. You alone shouldn't have to bear the burden of birth control responsibility. If he's a reasonable man then there's no reason why he shouldn't agree. Keep in mind that the failure rate for condoms is considerably higher when compared to the pill. Have you thought of trying some other kind of non-hormonal birth control such as the IUD or diaphragm?
     
  4. sparklebaby

    sparklebaby New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Of course.

    Although, I know he is not fond of condoms in the first place . . .

    I guess I'm asking if you love the one you're fucking enough to wear a condom if the circumstances change and you both do not want a child at the moment.
     
  5. sparklebaby

    sparklebaby New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for your reply.

    The IUD and diaphragm rely on the women as well; some IUD's contain hormones also.

    Maybe I'm just a insufferable bitch, but, I really feel it's his turn to suffer some inconveniences, take the situation by the horns, and just DEAL WITH IT!!! As I have done for the last six years . . .
     
  6. Dreama

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 16, 2006
    Messages:
    3,890
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    If he loves you, he'll understand, hun. Seriously.What about taking a lower dosage of estrogen pill?
     
  7. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2007
    Messages:
    933
    Likes Received:
    0
    theres different type of pill
     
  8. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    290
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Nebraska
    THIS is where I can offer some advice!!!

    My wife decided after our second child to stay off the pill for much the same reasons. I didn't like the idea at all at first, but then two things happened:

    1. I discovered some truly ultra thin condoms. They are actually on the small side, so you have to be careful, but they feel like nothing is on at all. Kimono is the brand I think.

    2. I discovered that while off the pill her body started into this rythm. a week before her period she has no interest in sex. If you can tough that out, she is totally in overdrive the week and a half following her period. And I can tell it too....she's giving off some serious pheremones those days. It makes us both horny as heck. Anyway... I actually really LIKE that my wife's body is in a natural rythm now and boy do I respond to it.
     
  9. Princess_Olga

    Princess_Olga New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2007
    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    0
    Honey, I'm all for men shouldering some of the burden for birth control, but there is no way in hell I am going to take the risk of getting pregnant if there's a whoopsie with the condom. For crying out loud, I'm freaking out that I might be pregnant right now even though I always use a condom, just because I took antibiotics for five days a few weeks back and it's screwed up my birth control. If I were you, I'd make him wear the condom but still find another method of female birth control that works for you (My roommate says the NuvaRing works for her).
     
  10. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    I hate condoms, they take away a lot of the nice sensations for both women and men. There are other brands of pill on the market which you may be able to try. If the pill is causing problems, I suggest using an IUD which I recently found out is both safe and very effective.

    As a man, I don't mind taking part-responsibility in birth control, indeed I had a vasectomy about 10 years ago. But I truly hate condoms, they are awful and they aren't like real sex at all!
     
  11. Nettle

    Nettle Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female
    I had an IUD after I had my kids, previously we used condoms. It is easier to insert an IUD after you have been through childbirth, I'm not even sure they put them in someone who hasn't had children, as the cervix would be tight shut I would think it would be pretty uncomfortable during insertion.

    Getting the IUD out is a bit of a horror story I will only repeat if anyone really wants to know.

    I only used the pill for one month for reasons other than contraception and I hated how it made me feel.

    The plus side of condoms (in my opinion) easier cleanup. It's all so much more messier now we don't use them. Also, when we gave up using condoms, he couldn't last long at all.

    So the plus side is he might last longer.

    It sounds like you feel a little bitter about taking total responsibility for birth control until now.
    I'd suggest you didn't take that attitude when you ask him to start using condoms, look on the positive side.

    You have been together a long time, it sounds like you expect him to be negative about this? If you don't know if he will be, then you just need to talk to him about it.

    We used condoms for about 15 years and we didn't have any unplanned pregnancies.
     
  12. SexyScorp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    2,778
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    ireland
    Why should you have to carry on taking the pill????

    Research shows that long term use can have serious
    side effects...

    Let him wear a condom....it aint the end of the world...
    if the protests...that is his problem...

    Why are some women always left to take respnsibility???
     
  13. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2007
    Messages:
    4,740
    Likes Received:
    7
    I have used condoms before , i can not say i enjoyed the feelings , but for a loved one i would gladly use them.
     
  14. JJLove

    JJLove New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    I agree with Kronnie.

    I would gladly use a condom if the woman I love decided to stop the Pill. Honestly that's easy for me to say though because I don't mind condoms. If he has an aversion to condoms, he may resist a little...

    But what are his alternatives? Stop having sex, or get you pregnant? I think he'll go for the condom! :p Unless of course he is allergic to latex? Oh man, imagine being allergic to latex! (although im not sure if that's even possible?) Oh, and i'm sure he wont mind the few extra pounds that you will be dropping.
     
  15. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    Actually, using the pill reduces the risk of breast cancer.
     
  16. SexyScorp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    2,778
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    ireland
    ...and increases the risk of thrombosis
     
  17. Elvis

    Elvis Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2007
    Messages:
    713
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Spain
    Life is dangerous.
     
  18. Nettle

    Nettle Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2007
    Messages:
    358
    Likes Received:
    5
    Gender:
    Female

    Which is why a doctor would check your medical history and make a balanced decision. I really think a visit to a family planning clinic is the best thing, then ALL options can be considered.
     
  19. sparklebaby

    sparklebaby New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for the response . . . I'll definately bring up these 'benefits' to him when I approach him about the subject.
     
  20. cbrmale

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,493
    Likes Received:
    291
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canberra
    A few years after our two children, I had a vasectomy, so I believe in sharing the burden of birth control. But you really, truly asked what a man would think if he had to wear condoms and for me I would consider where I stood in the relationship. There are many types of temporary female birth control, some have side-effects and some not. There's only one form of temporary male birth control, and it is very unreliable, so you and your boyfriend are really running the risk of unplanned pregnancy.

    Condoms vary in sensitivity from awful to hopeless, and if it was decreed that I had to wear condoms and that diaphrams or IUDs were not an option then I would think long and hard about things.

    For you, well I know the female side of things, because I've had a few long-term lovers who were overjoyed about having natural sex with me for periods of time. One of the great benefits of long-term monogamous relationships is that natural sex feels better for men and women, and there are plenty of non-comdom birth control methods if one or another doesn't quite work.