Star Trek Porn (not to be taken seriously)

Discussion in 'Erotic Literature' started by Kermit, Mar 15, 2011.

  1. Kermit

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    Tuvok...porn star

    Janeway: I'm so hot for you Tuvok [disrobes]
    Tuvok: Fascinating
    Janeway: Like what you see?
    Tuvok: Your physical attributes intrigue me, Captain
    Janeway: You gonna jump my bones or just stand there?
    Tuvok: To not "jump your bones" would be [turns his head sharply to look into the camera]ILLOGICALl!
    Janeway: Take me you vulcan stud!
    [Tuvok drops trou] Phaser armed and ready. Set to level 7 arousal
    Janeway: Battle stations!
    [Chakotay barges in] Captain, i've been going over these level 3 experimental Tachyon overlays...[stops dead in his tracks].GUWUAH-HUH-HUH-HOOOO!?!! :O
    Janeway: CHAKOTAY!!
    Tuvok: THis isn't what it looks like, Commander!
    Chakotay: Then what is it Lieutenet?!?!
    Tuvok: I was merely making scans of her body, clothes inhibite the procedure
    Janeway: DEEPscans!
    Chakotay: Deep scans my ass!
    Tuvok: Let me explain.....
    Chaktay: *beep* that! We're gonna handle it like we would in my tribe! To the death!
    [Star Trek: TOS battle theme heard]
    Tuvok: What in *beep* was that?!:
    Janeway: Sorry, Tuvie, that's my ringtone
    Chaktay: Belay that cell transmission!
    Tuvok: Lets get it on, it would be the [looks into the camera] LOGICAL thing to do!
    Chakotay: Get that *beep* camera out of here!
    [shuttled POV of camera man] Sorry Comander!
     
    #1 Kermit, Mar 15, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2011
  2. Texas_Red

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    Glorious Rule #34 in action.
     
  3. bikersurgeon

    bikersurgeon New Member

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    there's gonna be some pon fa'ar fukin goin on up in that place!.....i have a new respect for mr kermit!
     
  4. Kermit

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    Nothing like a Vulcan Nightclub on Pon Fa'ar night!
     
  5. Kermit

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    I'm gonna expand it since i can't edit it

    ]Tuvok...porn star
    [Janeway is spread eagle with a phaser dildo] Mark! Mark! wish you were here! I need your Shuttle in my Cargo Bay!]
    [door chime]
    Janeway: fucking hell [stands up in her night gown after deactivating the phaser dildo].... Come In
    [WOOSH! the doors open and Tuvok enters]
    [Janeway is standing in nothing but a nightgown]
    Tuvok: Am I Disturbing You, Captain?
    Janeway: Not at all [she smiles] what can i do for you Tuvok? [she brushes his arm softly]
    Tuvok: I've got the sensor logs you requested [hands over the PAD with the data]
    Janeway: Why are you giving me to this, Tuvok? this was Ensign Kim's assignment
    Tuvok: It was but he had other plans
    Janeway: Oh...I see, and that would be what?
    Tuvok: He had a....holodeck appointment with Mister Paris
    Janeway: [grunts postively and a nod]hmm! you know they're fucking right?
    Tuvok: I was not aware of that fact,
    Janeway: Like Bert & Ernie
    Tuvok: is it a violation of Star Fleet protocol?
    Janeway: No but this is [she drops her gown to the floor, her pubic hair is groomed into the Kirk Era arrow head symbol of starfleet]
    [Janeway approaches and cltuches Tuvok]
    Janeway: I'm so hot for you Tuvok
    Tuvok: Fascinating
    Janeway: Like what you see?
    Tuvok: Your physical attributes intrigue me, Captain
    Janeway: Well big boy, you just gonna stand there or are you gonna fuck my brains out
    Tuvok: To say you're attractive is the understatement of century therefore to not "fuck your brains out" would be [turns his head sharply to look into the camera]ILLOGICALl!
    Janeway: Well get busy you vulcan stud! That's an order!
    [Tuvok drops trou] Phaser armed and ready. Set to level 7 arousal
    Janeway: Battle stations! [while shaking her head smiling and arms out]
    [Tuvok pushes her onto the bed and spreads her legs]
    Tuvok: Thrusters engaged!
    Janeway: Board my vessel baby!
    Tuvok: The vessel has docked, Captain!
    Janeway: Red Alert! I think you hit my G-spot!
    Tuvok: Commencing Operation Make My Captain Come
    Janeway: Oh gosh! you've done it!
    Tuvok: My phaser is armed!
    Janeway: Fire At Wil!
    Tuvok: Yes Captain
    [fires his weapon at Wil Wheton]
    [Janeway]Fucking kid! Ruined Next Gen! Now fuck me you only black Vulcan in Starfleet!
    [Chakotay barges in] Captain, i've been going over these level 3 type 7 neuro-connetic experimental Tachyon-Dylithium converter overlays a bunch of words no one gives a shit about from Alpha Confetti Seti in the Saget system...[stops dead in his tracks].GoooWahhhhhh....:eek
    Janeway: CHAKOTAY!!
    Tuvok: THis isn't what it looks like, Commander!
    Chakotay: Then what is it Lieutenet?!?! Huh? You've docked with your Captain, Explain that motherfucker!
    Tuvok: I was merely making scans of her body, clothes inhibite the procedure
    Janeway: DEEPscans!
    Chakotay: Deep scans my ass! We're gonna handle it like we would in my tribe! To the death!
    [Star Trek: TOS battle theme heard]
    Tuvok: What in *beep* was that?!:
    Janeway: Sorry, Tuvie, that's my ringtone, Picard is calling!
    Chaktay: Belay that cell transmission!
    Tuvok: Lets get it on, to not would be [looks into the camera] ILLOGICAL!
    [Chakotay rips off his shirt]
    Tuvok: Logic dictates that since you slept with a night light in your quarters, you are therefore a pussy! I accept your challenge, pussy!
    Chakotay: Do you ahve to tell him everything Kathryn!?!
    Janeway: Sometimes I say crazy shit in bed, shit one time i called B''elanna Tores mommy
    Tuvok: we will discuss your sluttiness another time, after i get tested, but before then i'm gonna kick Chakotay's ass!
    Chakotay: Get that *beep* camera out of here!
    [shuttled POV of camera man, nearly tripping in POV] Sorry Comander!
     
    #5 Kermit, Mar 16, 2011
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2011
  6. cheeze

    cheeze New Member

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    "Tuvok: To not "jump your bones" would be [turns his head sharply to look into the camera]ILLOGICALl! "

    thanks for the new sig LOL
     
  7. Kermit

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    Yes, i'm glad you liked, that's one part i'm very proud of :)
     
  8. NewGuy85

    NewGuy85 Active Member

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    You're a sick muppet, kermit.

    Always had my suspicions about bert and ernie though...
     
  9. Everett_Spair

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    I'm not sure I can watch Voyager again after reading this. :eek
     
  10. Kermit

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    You should read my zombie muppet script
     
  11. Untamed

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    LOL very funny! Nice one Kermit :p
     
  12. SweetnSassy86

    SweetnSassy86 New Member

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    ahh hahaha! i just bought the entire series of Voyager- i'm quite the trekie, not gonna lie :). This was an interesting twist to voyager for sure and it's pretty hot actually.
     
  13. Kermit

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    I'm too cheap (and broke) to buy the entire series, i've been downloading it
     
  14. SweetnSassy86

    SweetnSassy86 New Member

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    EBAY! Wasn't too awful. Been wanting the series for a while now and finally broke down and bought it.
     
  15. Kermit

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    i'm up to like episode six of season six, watching them in order, something i didn't do with tng, and relishing the opportunity. I sorta did that with DS9 lol and plan to do with enterprise and maybe TOS :) so i can say i've seen them all and be a true Trekker :D

    i'm also making a new script :) it's got a blend of casts of different shows on a new ship