Spouse sleeps in bed with Kids.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ronhiway, Nov 12, 2010.

  1. ronhiway

    ronhiway New Member

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    My wife sleeps in the bed with our 12 yr old child. Is that acceptable? It bother me to NO end and it may be the one thing that will cause our divorse. I told her I can be single and sleep by myself.
     
  2. igor

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    Why does she do this? Seems to me that by age 12 the child should definetly be sleeping alone.
     
  3. Kermit

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    Have you discussed the situation with your wife? And is the child a son or daugther? The reason I ask, is cause it'd be the first thing i'd ask if a woman was asking about their husband sleeping in the same bed as their child. Only fair i suppose, but i'm trying not to insinuate, it's just asked out of concern. Granted incest commited by a mother is not as common, but it's worth asking for the sake of the child as it may not be considered
     
    #3 Kermit, Nov 12, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2010
  4. Mittimer

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    I'm going to side with what Kermit is saying really.
    While it's not common for a mother/child situation it's not unheard of.

    As it was asked above, is it a male child or a female child? Not that it makes much difference. In some cases it can be considered child abuse to do so.

    Does the child have any mental/physical issues? Do she/he want to sleep in the bed with their mother? Or is this something that your wife feels is necessary?

    I understand why it would get on your nerves and possibly make you feel threatened in your relationship, it's insane to be honest.

    Have you spoken to your child about this? Have you spoken to your wife about this? Have you two considered going to counseling as a family?
     
  5. ronhiway

    ronhiway New Member

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    The child is a girl and there is nothing abusive happining she said she is scared to sleep alone or I'm just gonna lay in there until she goes asleep we have had this problem for 4 years now. Always really I just started complaining.
     
  6. HardRocker

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    I think common sense suggests it will(not "might") retard the child's path to independence and confidence that her parents will be there when she wakes up every morning. By 12 the child should be secure and confident that her parents will be there for her when she wakes up alone in her bed every morning. She should be ready at this age to go to sleepovers, Summer camp, school trips, etc. without serious separation anxiety.

    Or is it the mother that has the insecurity problem? If it is, she is still doing a real disservice to your daughter for the same reasons. As parents, it's both of your duties to prepare her to be a self sufficient adult. She's also doing you and your marriage a real disservice, since your relationship as adults ought to be a model for her to learn to emulate.

    You may want to search for some professional advice on how to break the habit. I'm not qualified to help with that.

    Just my humble opinion.
     
  7. Dragon_Fire

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    I agree with HardRocker here that allowing your daughter to sleep in your bed every night will stunt her future independence. I personally allow my 10 year daughter to sleep in my bed occasionally but certainly not every night. For a while she would sleepwalk to my bed in the middle of my night but after I started locking my door she got the message and sleeps through the majority of nights in her own bed.

    If your daughter is particularly resistant to sleeping alone, I would advise consulting a pediatrician.
     
  8. Kermit

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    Thanx for not ripping my head off you guys! Just askin cause if we did a lot more asking there would be less Child Abuse but I was sure it was just a security issue and nothing more