special new girl

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by r0ughy, Jan 17, 2009.

  1. r0ughy

    r0ughy New Member

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    OK, I have lots of short term relationships. My one long term relationship a while ago that was great but my at the time girlfriend wasn't to keen on anything to interesting in the bedroom, just do it and get over with it type thing.
    That is all I have learnt. I believe I have never made a girl orgasm before. This worries me as I don't know what I'm doing is right or not. Can you please give me some pointers or some sort of direction as I am growing up and have a girl I finally really like but don't want to let her down as everything else is going so well! I know its about communication but if I can start off OK then I know its going to help. I've read through these forums a bit and you seem a good read and can maybe help!

    Thanks.
     
  2. Trampoline

    Trampoline New Member

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    There is no other way to learn except through experience.

    Maybe you should find a girlfriend or some girlfriends and just practice, let them know your in it to learn.
     
  3. NewToThis

    NewToThis New Member

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    I'm not hugely experienced, but I always put my girl first. If you want her to orgasm work for it. Done wonders for me.
     
  4. qcumbr1

    qcumbr1 New Member

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    Explore each other together. Ask her to tell you what feels good. Take your time and learn as you go. This would be a whole lot easier than trying to quess.
     
  5. r0ughy

    r0ughy New Member

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    Have to make a weekend of it, haha.
    Thanks people. Your awesome.
     
  6. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    You haven't explained what you have been doing to help your partners to orgasm, but I assume you have been trying oral sex. If not, then you should, as very few women orgasm with anything other than direct clitoral stimulation. I've had about 100 partners and sex thousands of times, and orgasms by anything other than oral sex have been very, very rare.

    There is a lot of material around on oral sex: read as much as you can. If your partner wishes to show you how she touches herself, this would be a great starting point. If she doesn't wish to show you this, the thing you need to learn is how to read a woman's body language when you go down on her: the signs that show that you are being too hard, too soft, hitting the wrong spot or just right. You need to learn this in any case. Pulling her hips away is too hard, arching her back towards you is too soft, squirming around is hitting the wrong spot and so on.

    Just right may be vocal, but in my experience it's often the silence of concentration. Laying still, eyes closed, brow furrowed (I had a long-term partner who curled her lip). When you get there, don't vary your stroke until she comes, no matter how long it takes or how uncomfortable it gets. As she gets very close her legs and body will stiffen, and then she'll come. Most women get sensitive straight after coming, so you need to stop stimulation at that point.

    Often with a new partner it can take a couple of attempts to get her to orgasm, and most experienced women will expect this. I have had many partners extremely suprised that I managed it first time, which shows what they were expecting. I can, of course, do this because I have had sex with so many different women. The other thing is you are helping her to orgasm, and unless she lets go and relaxes in your care, you can't perform miracles. Unless you are very, very good or lucky, the 'lay there and get it over with' type of girl isn't going to come.
     
  7. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    Have you no fingers, man? ;)

    Roughy, cbrmale is right, for the most part. The best way to learn to help a woman orgasm is to try it over and over and over again. Hopefully, she's the kind of girl that will let you know what feels good and what doesn't by telling you so. If not, like crbrmale said, listen to the sounds she makes especially her breathing. Also, feel how her body reacts to what you do.

    There is a wealth of information here on the forum about different techniques, but really, practice makes perfect.
     
  8. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    Tell her you want to make her come, tell her to tell you what makes her feel good when you're doing it, make sure she knows you're willing to learn and want her to get as much enjoyment out of it as you are/do.

    I've always been far more comfortable with men who are in it for the mutual pleasure. It's far easier to relax and let myself go when I know they are as into making me cum as they are themselves.

    Practice practice practice. :D
     
  9. cbrmale

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    Actually I do, and I have brought women to orgasm many times using my fingers too. It makes a nice variation, and in many ways it's more intimate than oral sex. I lay on my wife, kissing her and rubbing her at the same time. It really is a fantastic way to do it.

    For an inexperienced man doing this, the trick is to hit the right spot and not press too hard. A clit is more sensitive than a penis, and indirect pressure (spreading fingers and rubbing either side) is usually is what required.
     
  10. Barbwire

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    Not all clits are made the same and how sensitive they are depends on the level of arousal. For me, if my husband is too tentative in manipulating my clitoris, its like getting pecked to death by a duck. The closer I get to coming, the more pressure I like on my clit, same holds truth for my nipples.

    If my husband isn't rubbing hard enough or in the right spot, I raise my hips up and push into his fingers until he gets the idea that I want it rougher. Sometimes, I will use my hand to place his fingers right where they need to be. *take note: Never touch a clit with dry fingers, that can cause too much friction. Pain, no pleasure, is the result*

    Once I've come, though, I don't want my clit or my nips messed with until I've had a few minutes to regroup.
     
  11. Rocket Queen

    Rocket Queen New Member

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    I'd ask your girlie if she has ever had an orgasm before and if she says no then tell her you don't think you have ever made a woman orgasm and ask her if she'd like spend the weekend trying. She will be more relaxed and most likely tell you what she likes if he realises that you are learning as well..

    If she has had O's before then ask her to teach you how to do it the way she likes, you guys can also incorporate a little bit of roleplaying as well. with her the teacher and you the student...

    I personally can not O during oral with my husband and fingers/toys can only do it for me....... each woman is different.... each clit is different, each man is different...