Sorry to unload my problems on you guys...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BluShrtVigilanT, Jun 12, 2007.

  1. BluShrtVigilanT

    BluShrtVigilanT New Member

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    ...but you don't have to read this if you don't want to hear my bitching.


    So, before college I went to something called summer experience, a summer program where potential students come to the campus, stay a week and take a special class for credits and see what campus life is like. During my stay there I met my current ex-girlfriend. She is one of those girls that all the guys would love to hook up with but figure that they are way out of their league, that there would be no way they'd be lucky enough to be with her. I was no exception, if only a bit less optimistic due to my low self image. Nevertheless, I did my best to talk with her. We soon became chat buddies during the experience, talking about interests, trading drawings and sketches. I left for home with a huge crush on her that continued well through my actuall college career.

    From freshman all the way to Junior year we existed as friends, at some points barely that. In fact I barely remember spending any time during sophmore year. Anyways...Junior year came, and news started to spread that she broke up with her asshole boyfriend...or at least "was on a break." It was also that time that she had returned from studying abroad...which I now remember was the reason sophmore year was a bust. We started hanging out again, and started becoming closer as friends until a relationship started to blossom. We dated for a year and had our share of ups and downs. I won't go into detail but will explain it by saying that she has some issues with relationships and affection that she seems to be working on finally.

    She was...and still is amazing. It never ceases to amaze me that someone like her could be interested in me. Things ended on a sour note for us, and most of my last semester in school was spent in complete silence on my part. Finally...for god knows why, I started talking with her again. Surprisingly...talking to her took me out of a nasty rut I had found myself in. I felt...good for once. It's only been a few weeks now, but talking with her makes me feel so good inside...and I can tell she feels good as well. We spend alot of time talking about us...and both of us realize that we are so perfect together and that the only thing that stood between us were these damn issues of hers. One thing we also are realize...is that we both would like a second chance.

    I know I still have feelings for her...dare I say I still love her...it's hard considering our situation. I in the states, she in China finishing her schooling. Now she says she wants to finish school in China to get her masters, another 4 years. As much as I'm trying not to let this get to me it is. I know in my heart that given the chance we could be happy together...I know she is someone I could spend my life with under the right circumstances...

    I hate the idea of "fate" or "destiny," I don't belive in either. I beleive that people are responsible for their own decisons in life. The idea of fate takes away responsibility and even honor from the choices we make. A murderer was fated to kill so it's not his fault, and it was MLK jr's destiny to be the voice of civil rights so it cheapens the greatness of this man. My point being that I don't believe in fate, and so I hate people telling me that "if it's meant to happen it will." Dammit...I want things to work out...but there's nothing much I can do from here.

    Oh well...that's it I guess. I just wanted to vent her considering too many of my friends, including her, read my actual blog and noone really knows that I come here. No advice necessary, just needed to write it down.
     
  2. HardRocker

    Gold Member

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    Why don't you write a letter on paper to her, re-iterating to her how you feel. Sit down and take your time for a day or two to compose and think it out. I say do it that way because throughout the day, as your mood and energy level changes, you think of things from different perspectives and can better capture the essence of your feelings.

    You appear to be a skilled writer, so you can probably knock out a masterpiece; no bullshit, just straight from the heart. If she has similar feelings, she will treasure it, and maybe keep it to look at sometime later in life.

    And as we fishermen say, be sure not to set the drag too tight.;)
     
  3. Halogen

    Halogen New Member

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    *hugs* to you. It's just nice to vent sometimes.
     
  4. christ1220

    christ1220 New Member

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  5. BluShrtVigilanT

    BluShrtVigilanT New Member

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    Thanks to you both...I pretty much talk with her online everyday so I'm sure I'll have time to talk with her about things. As for the letter, I just might do that...I am a bit of a sap when it comes to those things and I like to consider myslef a romantic at heart ^ ^;;
     
  6. HardRocker

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    Do it. It'll be like love on afterburner. :D
     
  7. antmayne

    antmayne New Member

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    the knowledge

    ok man, im gonna try to help, ive been through so much bs in life it isnt even funny, and even though im young ive learned so much through pain, ok man, you want things to work with her, yet you are so far apart, i know how you feel to a T, like ive been in situations like this before and it sucks. ok man, first you wanna ask yourself, are you willing to wait for her, and ask her if she is willing to wait for you, as in be faithful. Also you have to have trust, and communicate with her as much as possible, trust and communication are so important, without those you dont have a relationship. She is a long way away, and you 2 are seperated, but if you feel as though you both are connected at heart then things should be ok, i was in a long distance relationship for a year in 9 months execpt she couldnt wait for me. Just have trust in yourselves, tell her you trust her and if she trusts you things should be ok, after all the schooling you 2 could hook up and get a place together, other than all of that i really dont know what to tell you, the distance is painful trust me I know.
     
  8. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    distance can at times make the heart grow fonder......but that can also make the seperation all the more painful..

    go with your heart not your head.....all i mean is for love it comes from the heart, all the indicisivnes and doubt mistrust and all that other rubbish comes from the head ( as the brain can and does play tricks on us )

    IMO. of course
     
  9. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    I must say I agree with you about people saying "if it was meant to be, it will be". It's a cop out.
     
  10. BluShrtVigilanT

    BluShrtVigilanT New Member

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    Update!!!

    So yeah...right now it doesn't seem like she wants to come back to the states afterwards so my chances at a second chance are pretty much shot. It's prolly for the best, I need to stop living in this stupid romantacist fantasy world. Things to turn out that way...Chances are she'll be dating a friend of hers she's been telling me about in a week, she'll stay in China or Japan (her home country), and she'll still have the same issues that she had back when we were going out.

    I was stupid and naive to even THINK of trying again with her. But like I said, oh well, it's good for me to learn these things so I'll stop being such a damn romantic fool and start looking at the way things actually work.

    Thanks again to everyone for your adivice.
     
  11. Nettle

    Nettle Member

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    It sounds like she was trying to let you down gently.

    ((HUGS))