Sorry, just needing to vent!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Squirt, Jan 20, 2009.

  1. Squirt

    Squirt New Member

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    Ok, to start off, my ex-husband and father of our 2 kids, unfortunately, do not get along. I try to be nice and civil but I am getting pushed to the edge! This past weekend was his weekend with the kids. My girl will be 8 yrs old in about a week and a half and my boy will be 4 yrs old in about 3 weeks.

    Anyways, during this last visit, him and his new wife set up my 8 yr old daughter a MySpace account. She has asked me repeatedly for one and I ofcourse have refused because I know of the internet pervs out there and the danger of children on the internet like that. I confronted him and told him I wish he/they would respect my wishes concerning the kids safety, in which he, with the kids present, proceeded to get in my face, pointing his finger and yelling at me a bunch of nonsense. After I got home and learned they would not even let her add me as a "friend" on there, I contacted MySpace and had the account deleted for being under age and false information. I set down with her and pulled up the MySpace terms of service and showed her that you had to be over 13 yrs of age and could not falsify your age or any other info and that the account would be deleted if so had been done. I also explained to her it was against the law for her to have one and mildly (meaning not explaining in detail and having her fear for her life) explained the dangers of her having one being so young.

    Shortly after it was deleted, she recieved a call from here Dad asking why it was deleted and she pretty much explained to him the way I explained to her why and he proceeded to tell her that he approved it and would take care of it. I then told her it would not happen, that no matter what it was against the law and compared if someone 17 tried to get into a bar or club, they couldn't because the law requires you to be 18 or 21 (depending on the bar). She understood and agreed that as she gets older she gains more privileges. I also promised her a secured and parent maintained membership to Miley Cyrus' fan club for her birthday (and yes I researched it).

    After this has been said and done I recieved an email from his brother cussing me out and saying I am only out to hurt my children to get back at him. No! I am the one trying to be civil and keep my children safe, if it is MySpace or him taking both of them out on a motorcycle WITHOUT helmets. I care of my kids safety and it seems if I say no he does it out of spite!

    Sorry all, just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening!
     
  2. missyhuggins

    missyhuggins New Member

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    Arrrggghhhhh! My ex and I don't agree on alot of things concerning the kids also. We have a 7yo and 4yo together. It causes alot of tension with the kids and I because I'm always the one who plays bad cop and he comes out smelling like roses and gets labelled 'the good/fun parent'. Disneyland dads... Grrr!

    Your daughter sounds very mature though for her age. I know my almost 8yo would definitely throw her weight around if daddy had said yes and I've said no.

    I just keep telling myself that eventually, they'll figure out that everything I do for them is done in what my opinion is the right thing to do. It's the time inbetween thats going to be the killer! :p

    My ex and I fight over the most ridiculous things and sometimes he'll do somthing purely to make him a star in our childrens eyes and me out to be the mean mummy who never lets them do/have anything. No point fighting it, nor retaliating so I'm just biding my time.
    Eventually they'll figure it out... Fingers crossed. LOL

    You're doing the right thing, just keep at it. Obviously protecting them isn't as high on his priority list as being the cool dad!
     
    #2 missyhuggins, Jan 20, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2009
  3. Squirt

    Squirt New Member

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    Just so all knows, I do not/did not put blame on my ex or his wife, I simply explained the law.

    Just felt the need to throw that in there.

    My girl is not actually his, he adopted her because her biological father gave up his rights. She does not know this yet but will within the next year as I feel it is time for her to know the truth. I will explain that I do not know where her biological father is, as he was too young at the time and that her legal father (the ex I speak of) has been there since day one and is truely her father. I do not and will never try to take that away from her. I agreed to the adoption and still to this day after everything, stand by my decision.
     
  4. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    That is very commendable of you, Squirt. He is the true father of your daughter, however he should most definitely respect your authority about what you think is right and wrong for her.
    As the father of two girls, when I was divorced I never countradicted my ex-wife. If we had a disagreement it would be discussed, but not in front of the kids, and she had the final say-so. Sometimes she would see my point and sometimes not. Children know how to play one parent against the other and in divorced couples it can become extreme.
    Stick to your guns, hon, you know what is best for your little girl, and have to live with her day in and day out, not just on weekends.
     
  5. Squirt

    Squirt New Member

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    Thank you bucky. That means alot.
     
  6. Dreama

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    I'm sorry to hear about your misfortune, Squirt. I wish I had some advice, but I don't have children-I have no idea what I'd do-but keep your chin up, and stick to your guns. Your doing an awesome job so far.
     
  7. heelfetish

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    Stick to your guns. It is indeed illegal, as it goes against the COPPA Children's Online Privacy Protection Act. http://www.coppa.org/

    MySpace does not conform to the act, which is why someone under 13 cannot register there. And even still, MySpace is NO PLACE for a young teen either.

    You have your daughter's best interests at heart. It's a real shame her father doesn't see that.
     
  8. Squirt

    Squirt New Member

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    Punishment For My Actions

    So, to follow up on the original post. Last Saturday my kids were staying the night with my parents and my SO and I were out eating dinner and having a few drinks when my phone rang. When I answered the guy on the other end asks who I am and informs me that he found my phone # on a bathroom wall, I hung up. The next day my phone rings again, this time it is a different # on the caller ID. This time when I answer it is the same scenario, guy asks who I am and tells me he found my # on a bathroom wall, I didn't hang up this time. I question him as to what bathroom he found this and what it said. His reply, "Actually my girl friend found it in the women's bathroom at Sears and so I don't know exactly what it said." After the call I proceeded to drive about 30 miles to the town where the store is located and check it out. (Note that my ex-husband lives in this area) Sure enough there it is saying "Looking to learn about girl on girl action. I'm new. Teach me!! xxx-xxx-xxxx". I informed a store employee so that they could clean it off and they did.

    So, anyways, as to my ex and his wife putting my children at harms risk, they appearently are very immature too.

    Thanks for letting me vent, again.
     
  9. lbushwalker

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    Dear Squirt,
    When kids are the meat in the sandwich it is difficult all around especially when one ex uses them as weapon to hurt the other.
    Stick by your guns and principles (as you are); eventually as your kids grow up they will see things for what they really are.
    Can't think what else to say other than you are a good responsible parent.
    Here in Aussie we have the Family Court which can adjudicate on such matter.
    Is there not a similar institution in Texas?