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Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by mousse, Mar 9, 2007.
Just wondering.. what's the funniest experience you've had with sex?
I'll share one from someone else....
Friend of mine had a fight with his missus about going drinking with the boys and went out anyway. She stays home and goes to bed early.
He arrives home late,pissed as', and comes up with the bright idea of climbing through window and do the big fake Cossack soldier rape scene with his missus.:eyes
He strips off his clothes on the front lawn and starts climbing through the window and gets stuck, she wakes up ,its pitch black she screams and starts hitting him with an umbrella... he yells out "its me, its me" and she belts him even harder..:flip
Neighbours have heard her screaming and called police, he falls backwards out the window and lands in the garden screaming obcenities at her while she is hanging out the window doing the same back,then locks him out of he house.
Police arrive to find him standing on front lawn stark naked yelling at her to let him in the house.opcorn
All this happens at about 2.30am
I think I related this here before, but it's been a long time if I have....
We had just bought a new mattress for the guest room, complete with the plastic cover. Wifey and I thought, why waste a perfectly good plastic cover, so we stripped naked, poured a generous amount of vegetable oil on it, jumped in and proceeded to make whoopie.
Lordy, lordy! We were slipping and sliding all over each other and laughing our asses off as we tried our best to just stay on the bed! I did manage to "get it in", but once there I couldn't do anything. Every time I tried to thrust, my knees would slip out from under me. We tried several positions, but neither of us could get enough traction to make anything happen. We finally gave up, took a shower together, and continued in our own bed. It was sexy and fun(ny), but I haven't tried it again. (Maybe when we get our next new mattress.)
Oh, the fanny farts....... definitely the fanny farts hee hee
Yeah, I've had girls fart upon entry several times. I never acknowledged it, but a couple of them were slightly embarrassed. Maybe I was thrusting a little too hard too soon. It hasn't happened lately.
Haha, I like the vegetable oil one... sounds like fun!!