Someone help me

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by WizardTongue, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. WizardTongue

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    Ok this is for anyone out there. I have been trying to get my wife to have sex with me for about the last week and she has fallen asleep on me three different night after getting her soaking wet by playing with her clit. So me and my wife finally had sex last night which is great and all but I am kind of pissed off about it too. Here's why. We have 2 kids and everyone knows you have to kind of schedule sex around kids bedtimes. So we get the kids to bed and wait about an hour or so and we finally make our way to the bedroom around midnight last night. My wife asked me to rub her legs cause they were sore from work and I gladly obliged her. Finish that up and I start nibbling on her ass cheeks to get her more in the mood. She says she needs to roll over to get off her elbow cause its starting to hurt so i let her do so and I lay on my back next to her. I casually slide my boxers off and she grabs a hold of my cock. Which at this point I am rock solid and ready to go. She even say "Damn you're harder than you have been in a few months." So I politely suggest that maybe she should "go say hello" to him. (code for blowjob). Her remark was "Oh I should huh? What if I don't want too?" I replied "fine then don't worry about it" cause she seemed pissed off that I even suggested it. but then she says she was only kidding and starts down towards my cock. I'm thinking "sweet I haven't had a blowjob in 7 months now. Last time was my birthday in November. So she kisses the tips gives my head one lap of her tongue and boom she was done. A grand total of 10 second max. She heads back up to lay on my chest and says "Well now that I'm done I think the First Lady needs some attention because shes not as ready as you are." By this time I am getting a weird vibe from her of she isn't wanting to have sex and I ask her so. But she says she does and to continue. So one thing about me is I love eating pussy, I love it. So I go down south on her and I will loose track of time for staying down there too long if she doesn't say anything. but last night was different. Usually she arches her back, moans, talks dirty to me and I can make her cum 2 or 3 times while down there. She is a load moaner and screamer. SHE WAS STIFF AS A BOARD AND QUIET AS A MOUSE. So, 20 minutes later, feeling like she wasn't into it I went to play with her breasts. while doing that she slides my cock inside her and tells me to "FUCK ME NOW". I'm thinking ok now maybe she is getting more into it. about 30 minutes into it I she has now cum 3 times and me not once so I flip her on her hands and knees and get behind her. I start fucking her and my wife has never been one for wanting it soft especially when I am behind her. Next thing out of her mouth is that she wants my to stick my thumb in her ass. Yes she likes this. and Yes so do I. So I spit on her asshole and massage it for a few seconds and slowly slide my thumb inside. First just the tip and then slowly pushing deeper. about my first knuckle in she yells "stop, too fast too fast" so I pull my thumb out because I don't like hurting my wife. Bad thing i was just about to cum when she yelled this and I lost it. so we flip on to our sides and fucking in the spooning position. Wife then tells me to "fuck her in the ass and cum in her ass, its the only way you're going to get off". No it wasn't I just fear hurting my wife and lost it when I thought i did. Yes I told her that. Me and my wife are big on communication; especially during sex. So we are laying in bed talking about me not getting off and she is stroking my cock and playing with my balls gets me right to the edge and stops. Her arms got tired. So I took over but my cock wasn't liking the feeling of my calloused hands and was actually beginning to loose it. So she says, "Do you want to put it back inside me to see if you can get off that way" My response was "Fuck yeah I do". She giggled a bit and I slid back in and 15 minutes later I was getting off. So we're finished and she immediately says, "Move I have to pee" like she is pissed. (i shot on her stomach and even cleaned my mess up on her for her with a towel.

    Ok so thats how our sexual encounter went last night. Now let me give you a bit more back story. (Sorry this is so long) I suffer from TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and ED from being blown up in Afghanistan in 2010. Yes one of the symptoms of PTSD is ED unfortunately. But I'm now on Testosterone shots and Cialis. So sex is really fun for me when we do get to have it. But something about last night just hasn't sat with me right. Am I over thinking it or is there something wrong that I'm not seeing? Yes my wife works and I don't. Only because I am 90% disabled by the VA and I can't work. That being said she only works 24-30 hours a week. I'm not putting that down but I was working 40-60 hours a week in the military and we were fucking 5 times a night while we were in the Army. I'm so confused right now Anyone have any insight? Thanks,

    WT
     
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  2. sandwich

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    Hmmm...I am not sure what to say. I'm glad you two are having sex since all sorts of people on here are not. You had one orgasm, and she had a few, so that sounds good too.

    I think lots of guys at one time or another question whether or not they're doing something wrong. I guess I would not worry about it too much unless your sex sessions continue to cause you to question. It could have been a one night thing.

    Is it possible to have your kids go to bed a little earlier every once in a while? Maybe she needs more time to decompress so to speak. We don't have kids yet, so I am speaking from inexperience. You said you waited for an hour after the kids went to bed. What were you two doing during that hour? Dishes or other house work? Maybe some of those times where you wait a full hour you can be doing something together that is pressure free.
     
  3. WizardTongue

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    Usually the time after the kids go to bed me and the wife play a few games together to unwind from the day and to just give the kids time to get to sleep. Like I said she is quite loud. But this has been going on the last few times we have had sex.
     
  4. Amature

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    Sounds to me like she was probably just tired. Maybe she just wasn't that horny and with her being tired just wasn't that into it but still wanted to give you sex. Could you maybe let her take a nap while you go outside and keep the kids entertained? I thought my sex wife would improve once the kids were grown, but my wife and I now live with my daughter and her husband and babysit our grandson from my other daughter. Believe me when I say I understand seedling sex around a schedule! Lol. Sometimes, when we get around to sex about 11 p.m.after getting up at 5:30 a.m. we're both just too pooped to pop.
     
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  5. CLE32793

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    Wizard, I'll be the first female to chime in.
    First, I'd like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sacrifice to our country. I can't imagine what dealing with that on a daily basis must be like.
    Ok, second, being that this behavior is new for her I'd like to ask has anything else changed around the household in this same time frame? You say that she has been falling asleep, how long has this been going on? I'm finding it a little odd myself, I may be way off base so I'm asking for more info before I voice my opinion.
     
  6. whybother

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    I do think that you re over thinking it. It sounds like you have a loving wife and a great sex life, especially given your situation. Have fun and relax. Appreciate her.
     
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  7. WizardTongue

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    Ok here's the thing. My wife doesn't cook, clean, get her own drinks, make her lunch or even do her laundry. I do everything for her. I know she has felt in the past like I have abandoned her while on deployment. To me all this is coming across as she wants me to feel like she did when I was deployed. Only thing is I never didn't help around the house. Even while in the military I cooked 75% of the time but the rest of the household chores were split evenly. Granted I know she works now and she hasn't in the last 6 years but why has she just given up doing everything. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. including shaving her legs and trimming the bushes below. the first 7 years of our marriage she never went two days without shaving. Now she will go months on end without shaving. but I can deal with the bush. NOT the legs. Even still she won't do anything else around the house besides walk out to the garage to smoke with me. Hell I can be in the garage knuckles deep in an engine or whatever and she will walk out there to come ask me to make her lunch or something stupid like that. Another insight to me. Dealing with PTSD is not easy by any means. And the smallest things can trigger me. That being said when she stopped shaving was about 4 years ago really; which directly correllates (however you spell it) to a major surgery that left me paralyzed on the right side of my face. She has always told me that it doesn't matter to her but still she stopped taking care of herself like she use to. Which incidently put me in a state of depression that made me feel like I wasn't as desirerable to her as I once was. That being said I messed up and started looking for the attention in the wrong places. I never physically cheated on my wife and was only talking to another female about a threesome with her and my wife. Because of that my wife almost left me. That was three years ago now. I know what I did was wrong and have since done everything in my power to proove to her that she is the only woman I want and have made a big change in my life to open up more honestly about want I like and want from our sex lives. To this day she still throws it in my face every time we fight and continues to tell me that I still have to earn her trust back from that night. I get it. I messed up. But 3 years and not a single mistake or hicup in my actions and she is just seeming to get further and further away from me. I have said it before on this site that her fantasy is for me to watch her with another man and I will admit that its kind of a turn on to me. We have even talked about going to a swingers club and seeing what its all about. But I just can't get passed whats going on at home right now. So confused. please don't hesitate to ask any questions if you have any.
     
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  8. WizardTongue

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    I do cherish my wife very much. If not for her I wouldn't have gotten the care I needed when I needed it from the Army. Besides that I have always thought of her as my best friend and confidant.
     
  9. whybother

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    Has your wife received any counseling. Sounds like she may be suffering also. It may seem strange since you are the one who went through so much, but it sounds like she may be depressed. maybe she can speak to her doctor. There may be support out there for spouses. You can get advice from whoever is treating your PTSD
     
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  10. WizardTongue

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    I have tried to tell her to but she won't listen to me and refuses to admit if she is struggling.
     
  11. whybother

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    Maybe you can ask her to come to one of your sessions.
     
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  12. WizardTongue

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    Tried that too and she always says "Those are for your health not mine. And besides I don't want to get drug into it"
    See I'm up shit creek here.
     
  13. whybother

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    Yeah. Have you tried telling her that your therapist thinks that her being there would really help you out?
     
  14. WizardTongue

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  15. whybother

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    Sounds like it is time for a serious talk. You have both been through a lot and unfortunately it seems to be driving you apart. I have said in other places on this forum. Sex is not a priority in this type of situation. The sex will never be good if the relationship is not in working order. Trouble with sex is a symptom of other things happening in the relationship. I could hypothesize all types of scenarios here on the forum but its impossible to know what is really happening. For example: Does she think that you should be better and should be working? Does she think she has supported you for too long? She may feel guilty about feelings such as these and not want to express them.

    I suggest you spend time trying to understand where she may be coming from
     
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  16. CLE32793

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    I have to agree with whybother, it truly sounds like she is and has been going through something and until you get to the bottom of that things are not likely to get better. Sorry
     
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  17. Alwayslearningsex

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    I go through all the replies plus the post. I can't find words or the way to help.
    Feeling your pain though.
     
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  18. Amature

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    Wizard, I failed to thank you for the service and sacrifices you have made to this country. Thank You! I truthfully cont know what to suggest to help your wife. Sadly, your situation mirrors my first wife and our marriage. I could never understand what made her give up on us, our marriage, and herself. I tried talking to her and she would become angry and confrontational. I tried to get her into therapy, or to talk to someone. She denied having a problem. She claimed I had a sexual obsession, despite Us Sometimes going years without being intimate. She stopped shaving her legs at first. Then showering. Our home looked like the TV show "Hoarders" (yes, it was that bad!) I don't know what her problem was. And neither did she. She died suddenly one morning. I have since remarried and I am happy now, for the most part. But I still wonder what happened. What made her give up on everything, including herself? I'll never know now. I hope you find answers, or figure it all out very soon. Life is way too short to live this way. Believe me, I know.
     
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  19. Barent

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    I can't really advise you as I have never had any problems in a long term relationship that are even close to yours. I hope that you can find some solutions. As far as that incident with you talking to a woman about a threesome, you said that it never went anywhere but your wife is still upset about this, even though you've tried to make it up to her. Holding a grudge this long about one mistake does not sound right. You didn't even plan on cheating, it was supposed to be a threesome which would include her, and you also said has expressed some curiosity and interest in swinging. This sounds a little unreasonable, on her part, to still hold this one incident, which sounds very minor, not to mention old, over you.
     
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  20. WizardTongue

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    Tried to have another conversation about it last night and got yelled at for two hours. It's starting to seem hopeless at this point.:confused: