Some red flags

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by CurvedUp, Aug 6, 2012.

  1. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    As some of you are aware, the intimate part of our relationship has come a grinding halt do to guilt from no premarital sex.

    Now for me, after three weeks looking for just where is says this I have come up nothing. If you go back into the word Greek word porneia it is defined by everything but it. If you look at the context of letters to the Corinthians. It has to do with them having sex with prostitutes and gods to everything everything illicit. Then you have Leviticus 18:1–26, where it has everything, but again nothing on the unmarried.

    Now for the red flags.
    LM has a friend who's married life is in shambles and has been since I have known her. She is "Born again" her husband is not. As far as I know that it is sexless and as far as I know he is a non believer or in the least has nothing to do with her faith as a couple. Here is the crux of this.

    In all of her prayers about her own life she and the "sin" she is living she hasn't been able to correct it through her own prayer, but has the ability to tell LM she is sinning by not being married. Because He came to her with a vision. Now there is much more to this woman that causes me to question her ability to condemn and correct LM and myself when she can't get her own house in order. Red Flag One.

    We have been together for over six years, now as some know, religion is starting to effect our lives. I have a faith, but is one that I question and seek my own thoughts about it rather than listen to one view from one church. Hers on the other hand has it's the belief that it is divine and that what she hears and reads can not be questioned. Red Flag two

    Which in turn is causing me to wonder if I am going to do everything wrong and her everything right? Red Flag three

    Then on to this. We live 22 miles apart. We see each other once a week, twice if we are lucky. I have a son that lives with me part time and I live close to his mom so that we can both be part of his life. Even though we are divorced. LM has indicated that she has waited to get married. And thought we would have by now. She was and has been aware that my son is priority.

    We have talked about getting married just so we can have "Sex", which to me has nothing to do the relationship we have had. or seems to had.
    But, it is not to simply to get married to have sex it is to have one with family and friends. And a diamond ring. WTF, why? Then there is the whole shitty deal that I am not working right now and that is another hang up for her. Now for me if it just about getting married to be intimate and our relationship can stay firm, my opinion is, lets just get married and live our life like it has been. We both have been married in long term ones at that. Not sure what the need is to do the big bang thing again. If it is only for sex to be ok. Which leads me to Red Flag four.

    Are these red flags or not?Up until this religion thing cropped up we have a wonderful life. Now I wonder how much this is going to effect the rest of life together?
     
    #1 CurvedUp, Aug 6, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2012
  2. OverSinged

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    Any body that blindly trusts ancient texts is sending caution flags everywhere for me, but I'm non-religious and such. My advice? Dump her, get a dog for company, and find a fuck buddy for when you need sex.
     
  3. pbs

    pbs
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    I have to agree with OverSinged here. Even if you 2 do get married, there will always be a third party in the relationship, and in the bed - her imaginary friend - the one who rules her mind and whom she has and will always value above you. She is allowing her irrational beliefs in myth and legend to rule her life, and if you marry her, they will probably rule yours also, if they aren't doing so already, at least in the sex department.
     
  4. Essene

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    There isn't a real problem here.

    Red flag two seems to be the only one I'd ever have a problem with.

    Marriage is a pact between God, a man, and a woman. Anything else is un-Biblical. As such- marriage should be divine.

    But I have questions. What, exactly, are you looking for? I could present my presumptions; but I'd rather not.

    In Corinthians 6 it makes the parallel between fornicators, those who engage in sex without being married to that person, and the unrighteous.
     
  5. Essene

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    As for if they are red flags or not... that should be entirely up to you.

    Non-believers will say "yes". While believers will say "no". Those indoctrinated in either belief system, as to not believe also takes faith, will feel adverse to a nay-sayer on either end.
     
  6. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Essene

    You can quote me all the Scripture you want about whether or not that a consensual intimate relationship between adults is not a sin. Fornication is not the word Porneia which a Greek word. The church has lumped all illicit sin into the word fornication. If you go and look at here it is

    fornication, is derived, meant "a vault, an arch." The term also referred to a vaulted cellar or similar place where prostitutes plied their trade.

    It has nothing to do with sex and the unmarried. And when you explain the context of the reality of it all. All we get is people like you to quote Scripture that has no words that the say anything about it. Your word adultery and fornication only address the married.

    And and if you really study the Old Testament, as long as the "married" man had intercourse with an unmarried woman, he was not in sin. Many Christians cherry pick out of the Bible. Believe me, I have spent a huge amount of hours reading hundreds of sites about almost ever issue. I find Christian sites that say no drinking, no tattoos, no makeup, no this no that, no greed, and all of this excuses are found to worm their way around each and everyone and then when it comes to the one thing that only effects two people you find that it is the most evil. It is not a sin and it is not evil, especially if the two are committed in life.

    And by the way. If you are the Christian you say you are, why in the hell are you on a site with all the evil that goes on here? Do you not put your self in a place that is going to make you sin? And marriage was never a defined process for the man and woman to be "known" in the Old Testament. Marriage is a man made institution.

    All I can say is Heaven is going to be a very empty place based on many Christians idea of sin.
     
  7. boobjob

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    Very strange to me that you would even consider being with a a woman who considers faith to be an important part of her life when you express opinions about christians like that. Have you expressed these opinions to her? If yes: I am surprised that she stays with youm. If not: you are deceiving her and yourself and I don't see how you could truly love her. Seems to me you are itching for a fight. Don't fight here. Discuss it with her.
     
  8. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Never said faith was not important in any of this did I? I just love it when a person points out the flaws in how WE Christians claim our faith. And then all we get is condemnation.

    I ask this question of you boobjob that I asked Essene. If you are a Christian, why are you on this site if you believe most of the stuff on here is a sin? You sir are a Hypocrite and a huge sinner by your terms, not mine.
     
  9. Essene

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    If you look at it that way- as many people do to alter the text of the Bible to suite their lives- you can play with semantics to make it mean anything.

    If you'd like to do that- you don't need to ask these questions here. You already seem to have your answer. I think it's wrong; but your life is not mine.

    Na zdravie.
     
  10. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Again Esssne

    If you are the Christian you say you are, why in the hell are you on a site with all the "evil" that goes on here? Do you not put your self in a place that is going to make you sin? See this is why somebody like you has no credibility with me. Sorry it is that simple for me. You say it is a sin for me to want to have an intimate psychical relationship unmarried, tell me it is a sin and twist things so I can, yet you say you are Christian and have made your concessions in your on faith to be here. So please Shut UP. You are the one sinning!

    You can condemn all you what, but you should be looking at yourself first for being here. You might want to be careful when you get off your high house that you don't fall. It is a long way down.

    You know nothing about my life other than what I have told you. You make assumptions based off your bias. I bet you think the earth is only 5000 years old based on your bias and man lived with dinosaurs. Neither are true!!!!
     
  11. Silkycat

    Silkycat New Member

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    I usually stay miles away from religion =p. For me personally I'd find it a red flag that marriage was a demand to get intimate, but I guess as a non-religious person I can't really put myself in that possiton with any credibility.
     
  12. Essene

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    You're undoubtedly a rude; and are probably an ignorant person.

    You posed a question. I answered it with the knowledge I have.

    I have issues with much of what you wrote.

    I don't necessarily think that discussing sexual topics is evil if it's for the intent of gaining information (not pleasure).

    As for your second question- nothing makes anyone sin besides their own desires and, consequentially, their ability to act on those desires. As for my credibility with you- I don't really mind if you find me credible or not. I gave my opinion on what I believe to be fact. If you wish to speak semantically, as I'm sure you do, you're a hypocrite. You more than likely twist words to suite your wants. That is neither clever nor right.

    And no- I did not say it is a sin for you to want to have an "intimate physical relationship" while unmarried. Why did you take what I wrote out of context? Again, I revisit your affinity with skewing words.

    Whatever point you were trying to make around the last sentence of your first paragraph got muddied via your poor usage of punctuation; but from what I understood my answer reflects what I wrote before. I don't know if it is a sin to be a registered member of a site that is, primarily, about sexual topics. Nor do I think it is a sin to engage in conversation concerning those topics. Everybody sins. I, most certainly, do. So I'm confused as to why you feel the need to defend yourself to me considering I have zero credibility with you. Perhaps the reason is guilt.

    I haven't condemned you. I listed a scripture, explained what I believe it to mean, and tha was it.

    High house? Your assumption that I am spiritually pretentious (pious) is off. I am not.

    In my prior responses, I made no assumptions concerning anything else in your life. In fact, because I don't know about your life, I stated that I didn't want to make presumptions. Again... I think you like twisting words too much.

    5,000 years, huh? No. First- you can't make that claim any more than I can (with any degree of certainty) make the claim that the earth is x years old. I think it's around 10,000 years old. Carbon dating is a great measure while using the scientific method. That method, however, isn't applicable to to whether or not fornication is a sin.

    Many men took concubines; but it didn't say that, that was the way it was supposed to be in the Bible. Forgiveness and/or atonement takes care of your heave an empty place theory.

    I haven't made one claim that I am holy. That I walk the narrow road of the righteous. I did,however, say that I am a Christian. Stop creating implications where none were. It's unbecoming.

    Finally, if you aren't going to have an open mind about a question you have, simply do not ask it. What do you gain from berating someone who is merely answering your inquiry?
     
  13. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    It is you that does not have and open mind. It is closed to your thinking. Any time a person challenges a "Christian" this is what we get. your stuff.

    And I find it odd that you now fall back on the way I write. Touche my friend. You got me.

    I don't necessarily think that discussing sexual topics is evil if it's for the intent of gaining information (not pleasure).
    To many opinions about this topic, yes it does. Just the fact you are here is a mortal sin. You just justify the Bible like my hard core Christians do.

    Appending. I can only conclude that you are Christian by what you wrote and the you are now denying it. Which is it? There is no other conclusion that you are a Christian our you would never have said in the first post what you did.

    I simply asked you why are you here on a site that talks about SEXXXXXXXXXXX. Sex outside of marriage sex inside of marriage that may or may not be LEGAL according to the side of the Bible.

    This is what you said "As for your second question- nothing makes anyone sin besides their own desires and, consequentially, their ability to act on those desires."

    What are your fucking desires to be on this site? Simply? What are they and why are you here as an Christian telling me what is right and wrong.

    I find it odd that many Christians tell other what is wrong with others lives when it is their own life is in the shitter. Hmmmm lets take Jimmy Swaggert. A man who rallied on Catholics for years about how evil they were, yet this piece of work at the same time was FUCKING a prostitute. Or hey how about Ted Haggard FUCKING a male prostitute and TAKING DRUGS with him. He was the leader of over millions. And he was telling the flock that Homosexuality was wrong. He was working with Bush to make it illegal.

    Again, answer my question, WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU HERE. and does your "wife" know you are here? I am thinking it is for something other than spiritual. 99% of the things said here have nothing to about religion.

    I will ask to see if you can be remove from this conversion.

    Once again Fornication is an English definition of the word. It has nothing to do with premarital sex.

    for·ni·ca·tion (fôr[​IMG]n[​IMG]-k[​IMG][​IMG]sh[​IMG]n) n. Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.

    Word History: The word fornication had a lowly beginning suitable to what has long been the low moral status of the act to which it refers. The Latin word fornix, from which fornic[​IMG]ti[​IMG], the ancestor of fornication, is derived, meant "a vault, an arch." The term also referred to a vaulted cellar or similar place where prostitutes plied their trade. This sense of fornix in Late Latin yielded the verb fornic[​IMG]r[​IMG], "to commit fornication," from which is derived fornic[​IMG]ti[​IMG], "whoredom, fornication." Our word is first recorded in Middle English about 1303.

    And as for homosexulity. It only says with a male prostitute. Nothing about consenting adults.
     
    #13 CurvedUp, Aug 8, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2012
  14. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Porneia, Believe I have done some work on this If you want to include premarital sex in the word fornication. You win. But that word in sex with out marriage does not happen. So do I win?
    This whole stupid shit is stupid. When this whole world is in shit based on power and greed. What does Jesus say about that? Give me lesson. And we are pissing about whether on not sex is right or wrong. For his sake we are here with this crap.

    The Greek word for “fornication” is “porneia”, which means harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively, idolatry: The NKJ renders “fornication” as “sexual immorality.” The NIV renders it as “marital unfaithfulness/infidelity.” As you can see Christianity has made up its own meaning of fornication to mean sex before marriage.
    harlotrymeans prostitution. For the purpose of money. People do it for money all the time. Are they prostitutes? Yep it is called Capitalism.

    You opened up a whole can of worms with me. that you can not close.
     
    #14 CurvedUp, Aug 8, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2012
  15. CurvedUp

    CurvedUp Member

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    Here is for Con to believe

    Bill O'Reill for the tide to not come in, Shit this is science. 101 and you should get and A+++++++++ The moon pulls the tides. All I can say, follow this man to your final destination. Nike's Kooled shoes and the word with Rush non sends Rushlimbaug will be there to distribute the correct amount to reach HEAVEN or their hell. for my Nike's, waiting for hale bot and Rush. ok neithe

    Your journey. not mine.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb3AFMe2OQY
    billy boy. knock yourself out.
     
    #15 CurvedUp, Aug 8, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2012
  16. Essene

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    I skimmed over what you wrote-

    Words change constantly. Remember that the text was transcribed from Hebrew and some Aramaic.

    I'm far from closed minded. Yes I am Christian; but I believe that others should lead their lives how they see fit.

    "What are your fucking desires to be on this site? Simply? What are they and why are you here as an Christian telling me what is right and wrong"

    To read and write about topics of a wide variety. About Christians telling others they're sinning or doing wrong- politicians, police officers, etc employ the same tactics. Does it mean that the people they are admonishing aren't doing wrong? No. If I drank excessive amounts of alcohol. Yet I would suggest that others eschew from doing the same.

    I'm probably not going to reply again because you seem to not quite understand what I am saying. I don't really care what you do with your life. It doesn't affect me.

    Listen bud- feel how you want about religion or faith. In the future try to be less defensive.
     
  17. CurvedUp

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    No the text of the new testesment was in The New Testament, however, was written in Greek. This seems strange, since you might think it would be either Hebrew or Aramaic. However, Greek was the language of scholarship during the years of the composition of the New Testament from 50 to 100 AD. The fact is that many Jews could not even read Hebrew anymore, and this disturbed the Jewish leaders a lot! So, around 300 BC a translation of the Old Testament from Hebrew into Greek was undertaken, and it was completed around 200 BC. Gradually this Greek translation of the Old Testament, called the Septuagint, was widely accepted and was even used in many synagogues. It also became a wonderful missionary tool for the early Christians, for now the Greeks could read God's Word in their own tongue.
    A bit of a history lesson.

    As your life does not effect me either. Keep on sinning as you I am. Stay here fine joy in your sin. That oddity of this is, You are the one becoming defensive not me. WE can go on and on about this whole stupid ass thing.
     
    #17 CurvedUp, Aug 8, 2012
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  18. CurvedUp

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    You still have not told my why you as a Christian are on this site? Being it is a sin?

    This is about what you say it is a SIN, yet you are here and silent as to why you are here.

    Your early attempt does not fly with me sorry. Does your wife know that you are sinning here?

    And you be less defense when someone asks, why is a Christian man on a site like this? Then we are even. On your way.
     
    #18 CurvedUp, Aug 8, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2012
  19. Essene

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    I already disclosed why I am here.

    Find me where being here is a sin. (be not ignorant of your enemy's devices)

    I do not have a wife. I have a devout girlfriend.

    Are you Polish?
     
  20. CurvedUp

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    So do you have sex unmarried? Or just jerk off?