some funny blow job things

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sandwich, Sep 9, 2012.

  1. sandwich

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    Depending on your sense of humor you may or may not think this is funny, but I'm a girl who loves a good laugh, and this had me rolling in the aisles. Bear with me, I have a hell of a time being brief and to the point, and I'm not going to try.

    So I had a date with all my favorite men Fri night...

    My friend is very sick in the hospital, and when I get stressed there are a couple of things I do. You already know what one if them is, and the other one is getting in my car with my iPod tunes over the speakers and going on a long air guitar playing ride with whoever suits my fancy.

    Lest you think, oh yeah, I like to drive around and listen to music too, you probably have know idea how out there my personality is as far as music and my hobby of talking to strangers is (no sex here in case you were wondering), and really in other things too. Self consciousness is so not in the picture when in comes to who I am. I am very responsible, and not some nutty female. Just call me an extreme extrovert. Nice girl next door types with perverted minds don't need to be the quiet type. I'd be the first to volunteer to make you meals or shop for you if you were ill or needed someone to take care of your dogs or whatever. I'm into giving.

    So Fri night I was listening to all my favorite male artists and performers (if you don't know what the difference is I've addressed that elsewhere). We're talking three hours, darkness, roads in other counties, and a zippy little rental car. My car is in the shop because it was plowed in the ass (you know that was intentional, y'all) by a lady who was not watching the road.

    Air guitar heaven it was! I was able to get that little car up to 67 mph by steering with just my left knee. I'm not talking just for a minute....I've had lots of practice so I can handle several miles. You need a straight road for that unless you have some killer skills that I don't. The speed limits on the two lane roads I use are generally 55mph. One handed air guitar with the other hand on the wheel is not a part of my world.

    Oh and there is seat dancing while the air guitar is going on, and singing along, of course. Near deafening volume is part of it too. I might have been that person behind you at a stop light once when the light couldn't change fast enough. So picture God in a Box at full volume and the type of air guitar that would do that song justice. I might have to have some hot artist with a guitar restrain me with chains some time. Some of y'all know what made me think to say that just now...lol...and if you do...guitar licks and kisses are being sent you. "Guitar" and "licks" all in one phrase..fucking fantastic..oh yeah!

    I promise I will get to the blow job humour...I so appreciate your patience. I was onto Collective Soul. You may know the song, "December". Awesome stuff! Anyway, the first time I discovered this song, my mind went all blow job. Check out the lyrics some time.

    There's a line in there that says "turn your head now baby just spit me out". That hit my pussy so fast that it might have been a record for how fast a suggestive lyric makes me feel it, and make no mistake, I literally mean feeling the blood rush that produces that sensation that is so incredible. Earlier in then song it says "just tilt my sun towards your domain". In my mind the sun was his cock that I worship and the domain was my lucky lucky mouth.

    So then I read an article that said there was all this debate about what the song really means. Listening to it a couple days ago made me wonder what people had been thinking back when because I didn't look into it in a lot of detail, and sure enough there was a website that allowed for comments, and one of them said that anyone who could hear a blowjob in that song couldn't have an IQ higher than 80. I about laughed my ass off.

    So we of the perverted mindset are fucking idiots, I guess...lol!

    But then there was another comment that made it sound like you were an idiot it you didn't hear it as a blowjob. I laughed my ass off yet again. There were all sorts of either comments, of course.

    Personally, I don't give a fuck if someone things I'm barely smart enough to have made it through kindergarten, so if I want it to be a blow job, I'm having my way, and by the way, there is nothing better than having my way with a juicy big one.

    So some of y'all are so lusciously perverted that you have got to have IQs in the 50s if not lower..and I know you don't give a fuck either...lol!!!

    I recommend it as a good read if you find humour in things that are supposed to be serious (Like Magic Mike for me was a comedy). I know I can't post a link here, but you will find it if you are interested.

    I will not be entertaining your alternative interpretations here. My staycation is almost over, and I refuse to be that cerebral until I open my office door. Even then I wouldn't host a debate about it. That's just too much mental masturbation for me and I like my masturbation to involve my left hand and all sorts of other things. There are too many to list, but I might have to go to the grocery store to get ready for my bedtime entertainment because I'm feeling a lime popsicle mood coming on...and I am so not kidding. Everything I write is just how it goes down in my life, and I will always tell you when I'm kid doing.

    I see I just typed "goes down"...that will probably have to star along with my lime popsicles. I like the real fruit variety if you ever want to send me some...
     
    #1 sandwich, Sep 9, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2012
  2. 12barblues

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    I love lime Popsicles .....also quite fond of otter pops......must have something to do with our love of music....lol
     
  3. sandwich

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    Oh my oh my. I keep a box of those (different brand) around because I can keep them at room temperature for when I'm out of the lime ones. Now you know this is not a real invitation, but how I would love it if you would show up at a private Halloween party with me as the hostess and you dressed as a lime popsicle and arms loaded with a few boxes of the real ones.
     
  4. 12barblues

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    If slutty and I get to a party this year, I'll dress as a lime Popsicle. And post the pics....lol
     
  5. sandwich

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    That would be hilarious!
     
  6. luv2sexdotinfo

    luv2sexdotinfo New Member

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    don't sound funny to me
    I suppose sex is always in your mind
    so you're able to link any kind of things to sex
     
  7. sandwich

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    I'm cracking myself up here.....

    I hate fiddling with computers and such so I keep it simple and don't bother with avatars. Let's just say if there were a pic of a lime popsicle out there I would go for it.

    Or I could take the pic myself even though I don't enjoy taking pics...I can paint you a landscape or tell you what colors would work with your furniture and what not...but I might be the worst photographer in the country.
     
  8. sandwich

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    There is some truth to that....
     
  9. 12barblues

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    Congrats, luv 2 ,.... you've been here all of 10minutes and you're already irritating. Well done.
     
  10. sandwich

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    Well now that he's heard the indirect approach (my reply) and your approach (more direct) maybe that will be that. I never said that one of the requirements of my thread was that posters have to get my sense of humour, and apprarently he does not.
     
  11. mrcock

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    looks like a bot to me

    :lol