so im a wierdo

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by srf4503, Sep 17, 2013.

  1. srf4503

    srf4503 New Member

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    So ive been married gor six years and me and my wife have what i would call a verry active vanilla sex life. We do it alot but its just kinda basic imo. I go down on her she recips then we have a couple rounds of sex. Over the last few years ive gently approached maybe trying some out of the box ideas. We tried prostate massage briefly once but nothin else, every time i approach the subject of maybe trying her recoprocating analingus or giving me a prostate massage she makes a funny face and says gross no way. Every time i ask her if she has anything she wants me to try for her she says no shes content and then assumes im miserable with our sex life. Im not but i just have desires i wanna try.. a few times i gotup the courage to reveal i wanted to try golden showers i got A response of " your really getting wierd" its not that all of this has to happen i just feel like i would be willing go try anything for her but she doesnt feel the same.. the way she reacts makes me feel really embarressed and i drop the subject for a few months. But eventually my desires creep up again and i get a " no way wierdo" response again.. im just stuck ive tried every aproach but i dont wanna press and make her feel forced. Any ideas? Sorry im all over the place, i love my wife sometimes it seems like sexually we dont match up
     
  2. igor

    Gold Member

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    Be glad with what you have. I haven't had sex with my wife in over 3 years, so "vanilla sex" would be most welcome.
     
  3. Meee

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    This is the second thread you've started about this. And you know what? I do think you sound miserable with your sex life. You've tried everything and you keep trying. You make your wife feel bad about your sex life and you still keep trying. You gross your wife out with your ideas and you still keep trying. You try to drop it but it creeps up again and you keep trying. She says she's content and you say you want to do something "for her" except maybe the one idea of just stopping. I don't think you can stop. Yes, I think you don't sexually match up, and I also think your wife is adding to the problem by handling it in an immature way, dismissing you with the rather childish sounding "weirdo." She needs to be able to discuss your sex life with more than one easy word. When she's mature enough to discuss it, you might be able to develop a more complex sexual relationship. Both of you need to grow up a little in your marriage, probably over a period of years. While you're doing that, what you can do for her is accept her contentment and enjoy your vanilla sex life for all it's worth. Use it to express your love for each other at least as much as you use it to get your rocks off. Focus on love and make love deeply. Love will make your marriage grow and reach a more mature level where sex can really be discussed and not just "brought up" and called gross and weird. Good luck.
     
  4. minskminx

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    I think I am quite sexual liberal but two of the things you mention, analingus and golden showers, I find very unappealing and I wouldn't want to do. It is a big jump from 'vanilla sex' to what you are asking her to do.

    There are lots of other things that you could do that are not vanilla.

    If I give you an example in myself, a guy once asked me to wear a collar and chain. I did and that lead to many things after in my sex life especially a love of bondage and submissive sex.

    Perhaps you need to take smaller steps and get her interested instead of asking for things she will not agree to.
     
  5. surreal_thoughts

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    Be glad that you have "vanilla sex" on what seems to be a pretty decent basis. I'm just weeks away shy of being married for only one year and I've gone through plenty of dry spells between having "vanilla sex" with my wife. When it happens...I'm happy and contempt...are there things I wanna try with her? Yes...but at this rate I'm hoping that we can mature as a married couple, find time, find the right moods, and learn to make time for each other.

    So be happy with what you have. Some of us don't have what you get on a decent basis.
     
  6. 1000stars

    1000stars Active Member

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    Okay, I hate to hijack this thread, but...

    How does that happen?
     
  7. humper

    humper New Member

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    I kind of have the similar situation with my wife.We have have married 40 years and met in high school,I was her first as she was my first and it has just been us ever since.She is very conservative in the sex department,don't get me wrong she is an excellent fuck,but just won't think outside the box.I have hinted a couple times that I would like to share her,but I get that same look.I'm not interested in screwing another woman,but the thought of her screwing another guy,or just sucking him off drives me crazy.So if you figure out to break the ice,let me know
     
  8. 1000stars

    1000stars Active Member

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    The best thing to do would just be tell her. I would jump up and dance if my hubby told me that. I would be so turned on that I would suck his cock right there on the spot as a consolation prize.
     
  9. JD_Phoenix

    JD_Phoenix New Member

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    ^ This.

    Baby steps.