So.. I told my boyfriend that he's got a huge cock

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by totty_hoops, May 26, 2009.

  1. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Well its not crazy huge... though it is big but I'll get to that..

    For those that are interested I've been having problems with my sex life which I've gone into graphic detail on another thread.

    So since my bf was making such an effort in bed while I was on my period (which not many guys do) I decided to make my own step and let him shag me doggy style again. We'd talked about it, how he had to be careful and watch what he was doing.

    So off we go... It started shit and got worse, really hesitant and slow with really shallow strokes and I couldn't really figure out what he was doing cause he was only going in a couple of inches and because he wasn't going in far enough he kept slipping out and then he'd have to stop and put it in again.

    So I'm there on my hands and knees getting a little pissed, when all of a sudden he slams himself the whole way inside me.. and I mean it fucking hurt....

    So I went absolutly crazy told him to get the fuck off me and started swearing at him.. It was the same story again he zoned out wasn't thinking and just pushed himself in the whole way. Which mightn't have been a problem at the begining but at this stage I wasn't as aroused as I'd been then... anyway like I said I was mad.

    So I just let rip told him it was just one thing after another with him. He said he was sorry, but I wasn't having it. I brought up the anal sex, I did it because he asked me but If I Had let him do it doggy style what would have happened would I have ended up in the hospital... Same with the blowjobs and his hands what he makes a mistake and I can't breath...

    I said if any other guy had done even a fraction of the stuff he'd done I'd have chucked him in an instant. I mean he's 31 years old and he's doing shit like this.

    So he was completly gutted, didn't even argue.... which didn't really make me feel great, reducing a guy to bits...

    So I tried to think logically I really dont' want to dump him, but I couldn't keep going like were...

    So I told him no more sex untill he got himself sorted... and could control himself..

    It's my own fault in a way I think at the begining when I tried to provoke him sexually I asked him what he wanted to do, I should have suspected he wasn't ready for it..

    So I made him tell me what sex was like with his previous gf's. I think problem no 1 was that he'd never shagged anyone doggy style before me (which would have been useful to know)
    His last gf who he was with for nearly 6 years used to either go on top or missionary where she'd keep her hand actually on the base of his cock to stop him going in all the way.

    It was the same when she'd give him head. I made him show me and it was basically a hand job where she'd wank him with both hands squeezing him really tight while using her lips a little on the top of his cock.

    I think with gf's before her sex was pretty infrequent... but I'll ask him about them later..

    And the thing was he didn't actually realise he has a big cock..He was quite happy when I said it but I kind of slapped it away when I told him it's not so nice when its slamming into my cervix or cutting off my air supply. (I really was being a bitch)

    So I got on top of him got him hard and actually got him lay his cock against my tummy to demonstrate roughly how far into me it goes. Then I showed him typically where my previous bf's would stop. And told him the 3 or 4 inches plus him being a dick equal me getting hammered, we're both engineers so mathematical terms are useful...

    So then just to top off a shitty night for both off us.. I asked him if he thought I was a slut... For letting him take me up the bum, the deep throating etc etc.

    He said no because I wasn't promiscuous, but said if there was a positive version of the word slut I'd probably be that, because he know I make such an effort when I have sex...
    That was kind of nice and at least it put to bed one worry I was having... But still I don't care if it takes weeks no more sex untill I know what he's going to do..

    I think he regards his cock in a different light now though..
     
  2. HardRocker

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    Oh mercy, totty, now he'll be going around smiling out of context, just thinking about how big his dick is, and all this time he thought it was little.:lol

    So y'all are both engineers; you could build him a depth limiting sheath to slide over that big ol' shlong, so he bottoms out before he can get balls deep.

    EE was my field, but now that my son is in chemical engineering, I think I've forgotten more than I knew. He wins all the math games now.
     
  3. joydean

    joydean New Member

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    What ever happened to partners ' TALKING" to one another during sex... telling them what hurts... what feels good.. how far to go and not to go? Open communication before during and after sex can really help a relationship.

    You were absolutly right to be angry. Not many like it to hurt.. unless their into that kind of stuff.. which to each their own... but it sounds like to me the guy your b/f was not all that sexually experienced in stuff before you, and perhaps just is not aware of all this that upsets you sexually. Sometimes we need to be the teachers, expecially if they dont know our bodies very well yet. After all, no one knows our bodies better than we do. I dont see how punishing him by no more sex is going to solve the problem of how he is or is not going to perform.

    Glad the other question was answered for you though about the ' slut' issue . As to this post and some of what you've said in the others I dont think its that he looses control or that he is not thinking about you..as much as it is that he dont KNOW what you like and dont like , or what hurts you or dont hurt you.

    Just my thoughts.
     
  4. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    Well before I stick my foot in my mouth. It would be nice to here his side of this one. It sound to me both of you need to start over and open a line of communication before, while and after sex.

    I agree with you to shove it all the way in and hurt you is not cool. So pull away from him and turn around and look at him and tell him that hurt me. And calmly set with him and explain you can't treat a woman that way or she won't want to be with you any more. I told you in one of the other posts you have to lead him and teach him how you want to be made love too.
    You kind of made fun of me when I told you in a post my mother was my teacher. Here some food for though for you. Most all the men out there that are out standing lovers were trained by women that knew how they want to be made love too.

    Now here is your chance to be the teacher of a man that could be the best lover you have ever had if you only take the time to teach him how.
    I bet if you ask him he is will to learn to please you from the sound of how he felt after you jump on him.

    Bill
     
  5. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Yeah thanks you're right it definitely wasn't cool.

    Like I mentioned in that post and my previous ones there is quite a lot of communication going on its just that from my side it's gotten a little more emphatic.

    Thanks.
     
  6. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    I have one question for you and I have not seen it in any of your post. How does he do suck, lick and plain eating your pussy out. I have to ask or is that something you won't let him do yet.
    Bill
     
  7. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    I've never really liked the term pussy for some reason... same with eating out as a term for guys goving oral but that's beside the point I suppose..

    I've never really orgasmed from oral sex, even the sensation doesn't do anything for me. Though I do use it as a kind of litmus test because if guys aren't willing to give oral they usually have other hang ups.. So yeah he does go down on me and he does it as well as any other guy I've been with... apparently it was one of the things his previous gf liked...
     
  8. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Apologies for inflicting the graphic details of my sex life on people, I know this is the second thread I've started up about my problems with my bf, but I've been finding it really helpful just to set stuff down in print.

    So its been 4 nights now since I turned off the sex tap.... I'd like to say he's improved but he's still a bit of a disaster.. He made another attempt at buying me underwear and as before it was horrible. Last time he bought this really tacky black sheer monstrosity... it was absolutly horrible kind of black sheer the knickers were basically designed to ride up into you and the bra would cut into my boobs while not actually supporting them, not only did it look horrible I couldn't stand to have it on.

    This afternoon he showed me his second attempt. It was like what a teenager would wear it wasn't even lingerie really, he got two sets of matching bras and knickers, and they had more bangles and bows hanging off them. I told him I wasn't fucking 12 and he just looked despondent again.

    His one saving grace is these awesome back rups he gives. He's really patient and he's able to do it for ages. I tried giving him a handjob last night, but I wasn't able to bring him off, and he refused to wank himself off. I was thinking about it today so tonight I insisted figuring it might tell me something about him.

    So he needed a lot of encouraging, and he kept loosing his hard on. In the end I let him finger my bum, which embarressed him more , because now he realises I know how much he's obsessed with it.

    He's really rough with his hand and I can see him straining to put pressure on his cock. Which I've never seen any other guy do. I get him to spunk on the pair of knickers he bought me (which is all they're good for). Which again he likes. He gets a bit anxious about me doing something but I'm not really in the mood the backrup kind of made me sleepy.

    To be honest I don't know whether things are getting better or worse..
     
  9. loveit247

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    Sounds like you are very hard on him. Why not try and appreciate the gifts he buys you and wear them to humour him. Relationships thrive on kindness, not constant knocks from one or other partner.
     
  10. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Well because he's got other problems when it comes to sex, and being able to relate to me sexually. I think he's got this whole immaturity thing going, and I kind of hoped him buying lingerie would be a chance for him to make a small step towards that...

    So the first set he bought was uncomfortable and tacky his second attempt was something a tween would buy ( I did wear it and am now able to add looking ridiculous to my list of sufferings in bed) . He is fucking up big time like I detailed and I've gone beyond being annoyed I think it was a missed opportunity really.
     
  11. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    Why don't you go with him and show him what you like and let him pick from that sounds like a plan to me.

    or maybe its just time to tell him its over and he needs to go, back rubs are not going to keep the relationship together.
    Bill
     
  12. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    Well I want him to do it, I can buy my own underwear but I'd like him to use a demonstate a bit of intelligence.

    Incidently he is actually a brilliant guy which is why I haven't chucked him. Sex is only a part of the relationship.
     
  13. bluedragon

    bluedragon New Member

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    ok i under stand what you saying but walking him throu the ladys department and showing him the things you like to wear is only food for his thoughs. Now he has to be able to pick and make his own chose from there.

    So what if you did a bit of leading him he won't realize it.

    Come on girl all I want to do is help you I been married for 36 years there has to be some give and take.
    use your womanly wilds hereand lead him by the nose if you have to my wifes done it to me. Hay i am smart enought to know this.
    Bill
     
  14. loveit247

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    Ok, let me give you a wonderful little pearl of wisdom. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS! Everytime you get upset with the poor man for not reading your mind, I suggest you remember that little fact. He sounds like he is trying hard and you are not even throwing him a bone!
     
  15. heelfetish

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    I've been reading these posts carefully, and there are 2 things that stick out to me... One is that, as Loveit pointed out, you're expecting him to be a mind reader. Men aren't. Perhaps your previous boyfriends were more in-tune with your tastes & desires, but it's obvious your current squeeze isn't. That's not all his fault, please stop being so hard on him.

    Second is this constant, never-ending bombardment of personal tests. You're testing him with everything he does. And reacting badly when he doesn't get a passing grade. You're setting him up for disaster every time, and it's really unfair.

    It's time to take some responsibility. Honestly, if I were in his shoes, I'd be the one leaving you. :(
     
  16. Flame_Tamer

    Flame_Tamer New Member

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    I don't post every often at all here. However I do read here a lot. I have to say I feel kinda bad for your BF. He sounds like would learn if you took the time to tell him what you like and what gets you off. You say him sucking and licking your pussy does nothing for you but you have him do it anyway because he might have "hang up's" on other things. To me that sounds like a bitch move. You have already stated you were. If I were him and you acted like that with me I would fuck you anyway I pleased because you seem to bitch at anything he seems to do sexually anyway. Your time with him could be so much better if you took the time to let him know when you like something without negative criticism. Tell him when his dick is in far enough and don't yell at him when he gets some worked up in trying to please you and goes a bit to deep. After all sex is meant to be fun and enjoyable for both of you. If you don't take the time now it won't change.
     
  17. totty_hoops

    totty_hoops Member

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    I think I am testing him, in a way doesn't everybody... Don't people get rejected because they're not attractive enough or not witty enough or their personal habits don't come up to scratch.

    But more than testing him I kind of look at it as giving him opportunities, certainly I've given him the opportunity to do stuff sexually that he'd never experienced before.

    I do expect a lot in return though, rather than tolerating stuff I prefer to be up front about it. I think relationships are meant to be a little bit of a struggle. To be honest he has a lot of funny ideas when it comes to sex so I think he needs to work through them.

    As for suggesting that he would be better off leaving me... well I am genuinely hurt mainly I think because if you invest a little time and effort in trying to put down in words what's happening in your life for other people to read it does hurt when you read something like that.

    Now I know you'll say you're just being honest and its your honest opinion ,, but in between the the appeal for understanding and suggesting that he'd be better off leaving me..I really did pick up on a little hint of malice in your post. And thats just my honest opinion.

    I think its easy to forget sometimes how important it is to people to feel that they're fufilling their partner sexually. I feel a lot better and I think my bf has bounced back in a big way.

    Thanks to everybody that posted in the last couple of days things have improved dramatically.

    I don't want to be one of those people that only contibutes to message boards when they've got a problem. I got sense of satisfaction from writing my post but I think I need to find a different outlet in future.

    So thanks again everyone..

    bye
     
  18. heelfetish

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    I'm sorry you feel the need to leave, but should you change your mind, we'll be here to welcome you back. Please, I meant what I wrote, but it was not intended to hurt. I wanted you to be aware of how your actions and reactions are affecting him. You seem to be very focused on yourself with regards to your sexual experiences, but you have to remember that your partner is in this too. Your pleasure is important. But so is his. And honestly I can't see how he can be enjoying this any more than you are.

    Again, there was no malice intended. I wouldn't have posted at all if I didn't want to help. Just remember that you're both in this together. Or not at all.

    Best of luck,
    -heelfetish