Skiing anyone?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jgood4u, Sep 6, 2007.

  1. jgood4u

    jgood4u New Member

    Jul 27, 2007
    Likes Received:
    I just bought my season ski pass and this shows up in my mail box:

    Even if you aren't a skier, you'll be able to appreciate the humor of the
    slopes as written in this account by a New Orleans paper.

    A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of
    story that warms the cockles of any body's heart.

    Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness
    all over, the "tell me when we're having fun" kind of day. One of the women
    in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a

    He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief waiting at the
    top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress.

    He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had
    nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12
    below zero doesn't help matters.

    So, with time running out, the woman weighed her options. Her husband,
    picking up on the intensity of her pain, suggested that since she was
    wearing an all white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No one
    would even notice, he assured her. The white would provide more than
    adequate camouflage.

    So she headed for the tree line, began disrobing and proceeded to do her
    thing. If you've ever parked on the side of a slope, then you know there is
    a right way and a wrong way to set your skis so you don't move.

    Yup, you got it. She had them positioned the wrong way. Steep slopes are not
    forgiving, even during embarrassing moments.

    Without warning, the woman found herself skiing backward, out of control,
    racing through the trees, somehow missing all of them and onto another

    Her derriere and her reverse side were still bare, her pants down around her
    knees, and she was picking up speed all the while. She continued on
    backwards, totally out of control, creating an unusual vista for the other
    skiers. The woman skied, if you define that verb loosely, back under the
    lift, and finally collided violently with a pylon.

    The bad news was that she broke her arm and was unable to pull up her ski

    At long last her husband arrived, putting an end to her nudie show, then
    went to the base of the mountain and summoned the ski patrol, who
    transported her to a hospital.

    In the emergency room she was regrouping when a man with an obviously broken
    leg was put in the bed next to hers.

    "So how'd you break your leg?" she asked, making small talk.

    "It was the damnedest thing you ever saw," he said, "I was riding up this
    ski lift, and suddenly I couldn't believe my eyes. There was this crazy
    woman skiing backward out of control down the mountain with her bare bottom
    hanging out of her clothes and her pants down around her knees. I leaned
    over to get a better look, and I guess I didn't realize how far I'd moved. I
    fell out of the lift. So, how'd you break your arm?"
  2. cook74

    Gold Member

    Jul 21, 2007
    Likes Received:
    Sydney, Australia
    Great anecdote jgood4u! Poor woman, she would have been better off peeing her pants:ugh

    This might have been a great thread for Kinkyman, the guy that always wanted to wet his suit.
    #2 cook74, Sep 6, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2007