Situational ED

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Rumpo, Oct 27, 2010.

  1. Rumpo

    Rumpo New Member

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    Hi,

    I've been here and asked this before but I'm back again.

    Situational Erectile Dysfunction. Basically it means that when I am by myself and masturbating I have no problem achieving or maintaining an erection. Even if I'm making out with a girl there normally isn't any problem at all. But when it comes time for intercourse I have trouble getting an erection. When I do I have trouble maintaining one.

    This is not an physical issue with me. This is a psychological issue. I apologize for being blunt but when there is no pressure to perform I'm a walking hard on. When there's pressure to perform I start to get nervous, worry that I may lose my erection and of course, do.

    I know what I need to do, I just need help doing it. I need to let go of the worry. I need to stop thinking about it and just enjoy being there with a beautiful woman.

    It's a ball of anxiety in my chest and I can't shake it.

    I'm not against advice from doctors but I am not going to entertain thoughts of medication because it's in my head. I just need to be able to relax. I'm really hoping for user feedback. Especially from people who have experienced this (both from the male and female side). How did you get past it?

    I've read online. I've had understanding partners. Typically, after I'm able to have sex with a woman once with no issues it's all a go from there. The problem is the first few times I have sex with a woman.

    HELP ME!
     
  2. NYminute

    NYminute New Member

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    performance anxiety? do you get intimidated by prettier women? i just think you should relax, tell her you're nervous, let her stroke your ego a little, and relax. try not to over think things. i find that if a woman tells me how much she wants me and gets really into it, i don't even think about whether my dick is hard. i don't have this problem but i'm sure you aren't alone and it might be easier fixed than you think. i wouldn't jump into meds either if i were you. just trying to help.
     
  3. Meee

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    Two people who like each other and want things to work out aren't going to put pressure on each other to perform. If you're feeling pressure to perform, you probably don't know her well enough yet. You don't know where you stand with her. You and she aren't communicating enough yet and making sex something you do together instead of something one of you has to "perform." By the time you have sex, you should know each other well enough to know that the relationship isn't going to live or die based on one time. Every couple needs to learn about each other. A sexual relationship grows. It has to take those first few steps and that's ok.
     
  4. Ken

    Ken New Member

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  5. Texas_Red

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    Yeah I don't think calling it "Situational Erectile Dysfunction" is correct. You don't have ED, you have "performance anxiety", and it's pretty common. I wouldn't worry about it. Just focus on getting comfortable with the person you're with. :)
     
  6. tpaman1132

    tpaman1132 New Member

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    Performance anxiety is very common, especially if you have experience a failure while with a lady. Your mind then takes over, and doubts creep in from then on. Concentrate not on yourself, but rather on bringing your lady to her climax with your other appendiges! Make sure she is continually stimulating you during this time. You'll be surprised how easily things come up with you are concentrating on somethng else.