[Ask a Girl] Shy Wife

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by MrIgnites, Aug 3, 2011.

  1. MrIgnites

    MrIgnites New Member

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    Ok Ladies,

    My wife is very shy. She is pretty much a straight sex kinda of girl. Not really willing to experiment. My question is how to bring out the kinky in her? Any advice would be great.
     
  2. ply

    ply
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    Get her drunk? Worked for me more than once. It's amazing what a bottle of good champaign and some attention will get you.
     
  3. MrIgnites

    MrIgnites New Member

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    Unfortunately my wife is not a drinker. She does get freakier when drunk. But that does not happen a lot. All the crazy stuff she has done has been after drinking.
     
  4. ply

    ply
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    remind her of some of the freaky stuff she did drunk and tell her you want to have a sober rerun. Some people seem like they need a little something to let their inhibitions down. Do to a puritanical upbringing or whatever
     
  5. Mittimer

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    Doing something while drunk = Manipulation. You really don't want your wife to think "oh so he's taking advantage of my inebriated state to make me do something I don't want to do...great"

    Talk to her, show her photos.
    Buy a beginning kink kit for you and her. Silk blindfold, soft ropes, fuzzy handcuffs, a few small toys. Anything to gently ease her into it.

    Get candles and sexy smelling room sprays. "Silk sheets" which is actually a spray for your bed is great.

    Kinky doesn't always have to be fast paced and freaky right off the bat, sometimes tip toeing into it can be just as fun. For someone who's shy and afraid, baby steps really are the best.
     
    #5 Mittimer, Aug 4, 2011
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2011
  6. Kermit

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    yeah don't pressure or manipulate, but mittens is right slow and steady, but relaxation is a must.
     
  7. ply

    ply
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    It doesn't get much more relaxing than when you have a good buzz on.

    There's a difference between being wasted and taken advantage of and having an inhibitions depleting buzz on
     
  8. mrmrs

    mrmrs New Member

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    Maybe try something new, not overboard with it..just new during your next bedroom brawl. Like if you don't spank her, try it once or twice & see what her reaction is.?
     
  9. Barvis316

    Barvis316 Member

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    One thing the wife and I like to do is use a blindfold. I did this the other night. I blind folded myself and left her a note that saying I would do whatever she wanted and she could take full control of tue night. After quite a fun evening she mentioned that it was a huge turn on because she had no worries about looking at whatever she wanted without me knowing what she was doing. Any shyness went away that night. She got to let her wild side take over. Fun for me too so it is a win win :)
     
  10. RideNaked2

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    For me there is such a HUGE trust factor in "kink". With current SO, lots of talking about what our sexual preferences were, what our fantasies were, our wants and needs..we spent much time talking about "kink" before actually engaging in it. We are still talking..and we will continue to talk about it as it continues to change sometimes daily :D
     
  11. RideNaked

    RideNaked New Member

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    As she says, we talk about it a lot (I think about it a lot, as well:eyes). I realized my attraction to kink (Bondage, Ds, and some pain stuff) many years ago, but never pursued it. When we met, the wall had already been broken down somewhat by the fact that we met online, on an "adult" site. I was totally honest, this is what I'm interested in, and we went from there. She has made an effort to "play," but it takes time to change one's perceptions of "normal."
    Like Barvis316 suggests, allow her to take control. You may need to give direction, and don't expect too much, but starting slow is best, IMHO.

    T
     
  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    I say it's 50 / 50 because of someone I had met.
    She would never give oral or HJ, never going on top, never liked touching me.
    LEft me feeling unfulfilled. And her beautiful boobs, she didn't like me sucking them much, never tried a titty fuck.
    I expressed my desires to try other things without pressure and these are things to be tried when she is awake and willing only but the willing never happened. So unsure what to say.
     
  13. Paula

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    Is your talking IRL or on SF only with Ridenaked?
     
  14. RideNaked2

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    not sure that I understand your question?..RideNaked and I live together - we have for 10 years..:) so we talk IRL and on SF :)
     
  15. Essene

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    What may be important is to first define what "kinky" would be.

    There's so much that defines us. Quite often it's difficult to answer questions like these without, first, knowing some history. I'm just saying- while people may be able to provide insight, quite helpful insight as well, you know her better than any of us ever will. Have you tried asking her?
     
  16. Paula

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    that's my question and you answered it. Now I understand and that's why I posted what is in a name, remember

    I just got courious by the posts :dgrin
     
  17. CosmicEye

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    Get her drunk and just bust out a vibrator.
     
  18. thegreatest100

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    I would have to disagree with some of you. Getting her drunk only brings out the real her. She really wants to be kinky but her personality is holding her back. She may think it's embarrasing. You said she freaky when she's drunk, that means the truth came out. Not saying she's a slut, but when she's drunk, she doesn't think about being embarrassed and just do what she really wants.

    You know most first dates are best when a little tipsy lol.