Shy guy decision time

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by HotForHoney, Oct 13, 2015.

  1. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    I don't know if I can take the lack of communication anymore.

    I need advice. Give him time or cut the cord?

    I get the vaca thing. Last night he was watching tv, reading my texts but not responding.
     
    Kapps likes this.
  2. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,230
    Likes Received:
    19,282
    Gender:
    Female
    Let him know the ball is in his court and allow him to pursue you if he's wanting that right now. Don't reach out to him, make him step out of his comfort zone. He will if he's ready.
     
  3. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    He just said he is very confused/has own issues.
    I told him it must suck to have someone want you.
    That I think we should talk, I don't want to run with any/every bump in the road. That we need to communicate.
     
    whybother likes this.
  4. Sweetlysad

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Messages:
    18,344
    Likes Received:
    43,751
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    You are right. You need to talk, figure out what it is you both want.
    Sounds like he might not be ready for a relationship.
     
    whybother likes this.
  5. sensless

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,321
    Likes Received:
    2,126
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't know much about your story with this guy. By the little I've read, it seems like he doesn't care, like he's indifferent.

    Some men are worth fighting for. Is he? Don't lose energy on a so-so man. There are so many fantastic men out there!
     
    DayPlay3, lkg4f, arugula and 2 others like this.
  6. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Feel free to send some my way.

    I think he could be if he acted like he does when we are together all the time. He thinks a lot, doesn't share so I don't know what he wants.
     
  7. pb_j

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2014
    Messages:
    740
    Likes Received:
    656
    Gender:
    Male
    Does he treat you well, and do nice things for you? I'm a very quiet person in real life and it has caused problems in relationships before. However even though I may not talk alot if I really like her I will do nice romantic things, and other gestures to show I care.
     
  8. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Sometimes/when we are together.
    When we are apart it's hit or miss.
     
  9. sensless

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2015
    Messages:
    1,321
    Likes Received:
    2,126
    Gender:
    Female
    If he's quite and introvert, that's just how he is and we can't change people.

    Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for your happiness.
     
  10. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,167
    Likes Received:
    9,265
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    sometimes quiet people can be very loving and caring. Freworks can be fun but behind that one needs stability. :)
     
    lkg4f and doggiestylegirluk like this.
  11. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    I'm not after fireworks. I get a different kind of feeling/excitement when I'm with him.

    I don't know what he's feeling.
     
  12. lucky5338

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2014
    Messages:
    6,167
    Likes Received:
    9,265
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Scotland
    I can well relate to this man. I am afraid you may need to be patient with him. It would seem that he is unsure of your feelings towards him and is afraid of being hurt. Not knowing his history it is difficult to be precise but it may be a case of "softly softle catchee monkey " . I think if he did not want to be with you you would soon know. I hope it all works out for you. :)
     
    lkg4f and HotForHoney like this.
  13. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    He says we can talk Friday after work.
     
    lkg4f, Sweetlysad and whybother like this.
  14. doggiestylegirluk

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2015
    Messages:
    4,192
    Likes Received:
    1,728
    Location:
    #TeamDSG Services GmbH - located Germany / UK
    Romantic. Take a rose.
     
    HotForHoney likes this.
  15. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,965
    Likes Received:
    5,076
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Does he have mental issues other than past disappointments?
    Does he take meds for depression for example?
    I'm also a quiet type and sometimes act like he does because my quiet time is mine and I dislike the intrusion of chatty text.
    This has caused issues with SO just as you describe but I will only compromise to a certain extent on this because I need my time of peace and contemplation.
    He may be like me or not.
     
    lkg4f, HotForHoney and Sweetlysad like this.
  16. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    Alright folks, the big talk is in 10 hours.

    Give me your best advice.
     
  17. whybother

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2015
    Messages:
    4,577
    Likes Received:
    7,773
    Gender:
    Male
    Compromise.
     
    HotForHoney likes this.
  18. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,230
    Likes Received:
    19,282
    Gender:
    Female
    Let him know exactly how you're feeling without placing blame. Don't ask him to open up or ask what happened to him in the past. Those are things he needs to answer on his own when he's ready. Just be honest about the way you're feeling and let him lead the conversation from there. Don't expect it to all be clear after one good talk though :) good luck!
     
    DayPlay3, lkg4f and djanalyst like this.
  19. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2013
    Messages:
    16,939
    Likes Received:
    17,206
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    North East USA
    It's not the first talk. He knows how I feel.
    Something about me knowing how I feel and him not knowing/admitting/afraid of how he feels is ???? I don't know what the word is.
     
  20. xtacy4

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2015
    Messages:
    3,230
    Likes Received:
    19,282
    Gender:
    Female
    So, the walls he has up, right? I think all you can do is let him know what you're thinking and let him take it from there. Try to let yourself be vulnerable without being pushy.
     
    lkg4f, HotForHoney and djanalyst like this.